Ex Post Facto

Cabbages and Kings

2009-02-06T11:10:00.002-05:00

My word, but it's been a long time.

Of course, there are many reasons why...dissertation, and the fact that I'd rather be on the couch with my boyfriend in the evenings than at the computer trying to think up useless blog topics not least among them.

So, why am I updating now? Well, for one thing I'm on a new schedule that makes my mornings a bit weird. The classes I teach are all in the afternoon, which makes my day a bit weird. Basically, I get up, work on stuff until about noon, have lunch, head to school, teach, and then I'm back home by 3:30. Unfortunately, at that point, I'm really not in the mood to go back to working on dissertation stuff. Consequently, my work time gets slightly cut down. So I'm blogging now because I just finished one project for the day, but I don't have enough time to start the next one before I have to shower, lunch, and head out the door. The second reason is that, well, I haven't updated in a while and I'm bored. One can only check Google Reader so often for updates, people.

So what's new since the summer? I still haven't graduated for one. That, however, is coming shortly...most likely in March or early April. The boyfriend is going to be an uncle for the second time in the next month or so, so we're planning a trip to the mid-west in the near future. Christmas was lovely, if a bit overextended. We have a new president! I watched the inauguration, and I unexpectedly cried as soon as Chief Justice Roberts said, "Congratulations, Mr. President." Does it seem to anyone else that there's a new bounce in everyone's step?

I'm sure there's lots more, but I'm blanking out. I'm about to turn 30, you know. Since senility is apparently setting in early, consider yourselves updated, because I doubt it will get better.

Happy belated new year, and here's to blogging more regularly in the future.

Culture Corner: Le déjeuner sur l'herbe

2008-06-03T12:04:00.005-04:00

Édouard Manet, Luncheon on the Grass, 1863

This piece, by one of the great masters of the later nineteenth century, is one of the most visually arresting pieces I can think of. Not only is it interestingly executed, but the subject matter leaves many questions and hints to numerous possible interpretations.

My favorite way of thinking of this painting is to conceive of it as a photograph in oil paint. The latter half of the nineteenth century saw something of a revolution in the way that images are created. Some of it stemmed from the Realist movement, in which artists sought to eschew previous subjects -- gods, classical antiquity, religious themes, historic events, monarchs -- to focus on the reality of everyday life. The most noted Realist is Gustave Courbet, whose the The Stonebreakers is considered an exemplar of the genre. In this enormous canvas, the dimensions of which were usually only reserved for grand, epic subjects, Courbet painted two men breaking rocks with hammers. Not exactly exciting stuff, but it served something of a political purpose by rhetorically asking, "Why do we glorify men who have achieved greatness only through birth, when there are everyday heroes like these laborers?" Along with Realism, some of the image revolution came from the invention of the camera. With this contraption, "reality" no longer had to be filtered through the eye, the mind, and the hand of the artist; rather, people could get a firsthand account of events as they happened. Such a novel approach created something of a vogue for "real life" that both fueled the Realist painters and the Impressionists as well as much of what constituted urban life in the latter nineteenth century (where going to the city morgue was considered a fun family outing).

Luncheon on the Grass stylistically takes something from these parallel developments. For one, the lighting is completely strange. As opposed to a natural light, which one would get from lunching in the park, the characters appear brightly lit as if from an artificial source beyond our view. Notice, the characters do not cast shadows, nor are there really any shadows in the picture at all. Likewise, the positions of the characters are strange. They seem posed and artificial -- not like a group sharing a picnic at all, but more like mannequins holding the places where actual people should be. The overall effect is to give something of a muddled impression of the "reality" of the scene. Is it staged? Does the photographer really represent life as it is, or does the camera, in fact, lie depending on the operator?

Of course, the most noticeable feature of the painting has nothing to do with lighting or posing, but rather the totally nude woman sitting front and center. Some people have pointed to this as being a possible reference to the rampant prostitution that existed in many Parisian parks in this period. This seems a little too simplistic to me, though. I mean, it is broad daylight, and the rest of the scene hardly suggests "prostitution." Indeed, there is nothing sensual about this painting at all. Notice that the two men do not pay any attention to the woman sitting stark naked in front of them (nor to the semi-clad woman in the water behind them). Even the food, which in many instances represents sensuality, is something of an afterthought. It is not being consumed, it merely lay tossed aside, a remnant of an afternoon's activities. Perhaps the state of disarray of the food suggests a tryst that has already happened, but again the rest of the scene does not suggest this -- the men are fully clothed, the woman appears bored, and there is nothing even remotely sexy about the scene.

I don't think this painting is about sex in the conventional way. I think it is meant to suggest something about Victorian models of respectability. The nude woman is obviously a breach of bourgeois morality in her stark nudity; the men completely ignoring her upholds the idea of masculine restraint. Perhaps Manet is questioning a social structure that tells men to uphold an impossible ideal, such that they ignore a completely beautiful naked woman for the sake of each others' company. In this, perhaps Manet is suggesting something of a homosocial/homosexual undertone -- that bourgeois morality is, in fact, dandifying and emasculating the true nature of male sociability.

Anyway, the overall effect is somewhat disconcerting, and that's what draws me to it. Any art that raises more questions than it gives is good art in my book.

Culture Corner: Les Bergers d'Arcadie

2008-05-28T12:47:00.005-04:00

Nicolas Poussin, The Shepherds of Arcadia, 1638

This work by Nicolas Poussin has aroused some controversy of late because of some completely irrational conspiracy theories concerning the bloodline of Christ and other such conspiratorial gibberish. It seems that ever since The DaVinci Code, people have been obsessed with historical mysteries and are convinced that there's a worldwide conspiracy to keep these things hidden. Can't people just accept that there are some things that have been lost to time and leave it at that? It makes things so much more fun than having all the answers, doesn't it?

Anyhow, it seems that all of this Priory of Sion business has come about because of some very tortured interpretations of this work, mainly centering around the inscription on the tomb in the painting: "Et in Arcadia ego." Traditionally, this phrase has been translated as "Even in Arcadia, I exist," with the intended inference being that Death is the speaker. Arcadia is a mythological reference that is meant to inspire pastoral beauty and utopianism; thus, if the speaker is Death, the phrase points out that even in paradise, mortality will take its toll. The conspiracy nuts claim that the phrase is an anagram that points to the bloodline of Jesus. That only makes sense with some very twisted logic. And 'shrooms.

The painting itself is an interesting commentary on the phrase. The shepherds are clearly meant to invoke the bucolic paradise that Arcadia references; the contrast of the images of utopia with the cold stone tomb points to the inevitability of death. The actions of the shepherds, however, comment on the idea of mortality and the possibility that it may be overcome. If you look closely, the kneeling shepherd in front of the tomb has a shadow that is cast over the stony façade, a common artistic trope that is meant to evoke the idea of mortality. His companion to the right, however, is tracing the shadow with his finger. Possibly, this is a reference to the creation of art. To do so on the wall of the tomb is a symbol of the artist's triumph over death. For these shepherds, even if the kneeling figure were to die, his image would be left behind in a grab at immortality; thus, the overall impression is that the artist is able to conquer death through the immortalization of images, people, and events. So, while death may exist even in Arcadia, no one need be forgotten when they are gone.

Interestingly, this painting is a reworking of an earlier painting by the same painter. In The Shepherds of Arcadia from 1627, Poussin makes the point all the more clearly. In this version, there is a skull atop the tomb, clearly pointing to Death as the speaker of the infamous line. The figures in the painting are much more Baroque in their execution, with the strong use of shading, emotion, and visual motion to evoke a more powerful image. The later representation is more in the classical style with very staid, emotionless figures, geometrical composition, and austerity of execution. While the Baroque era was known for its extravagance and its drama (being the favored style of absolutist rulers like the Popes or Louis XIV of France), perhaps Poussin thought that the statement he was trying to make was too heavy for such a lighthearted, almost Rococo style.

In any event, the mysterious painting can still inspire thought without being tied to the lunatic fringe of conspiracy theorists, and its cold, detached presentation can still give it the air of creepiness that, perhaps, many people find titillating. I certainly don't begrudge anyone their religious faith, and if it makes them happy to continually search for evidence of Christ, then certainly that is their right. By leaving the possibility of physical evidence of Jesus out of it, though, doesn't it make the painting -- and Christianity -- more inspiring?

He said WHAT?

2007-12-03T15:12:00.002-05:00

These, to my mind, are the ten greatest quotes of 19th- and 20th-century American history. They have been chosen for their historical significance, their eloquence, their wit, or their cattiness. They are in no particular order. They are not chosen on the basis of ideology or partisanship. They are simply the ones that I enjoy the most. I give you:

THE TEN GREATEST QUOTES OF 19th and 20TH-CENTURY AMERICA

1. Context: United States UN Ambassador Adlai Stevenson addresses Soviet Ambassador Valerian Zorin (who has one of the BEST names of all time), questioning Zorin about his country's placing of missiles in Cuba during the Cuban Missile Crisis of 1961. Stevenson asked if Zorin's country was installing missiles, to which he abruptly added this gem,

"Don't wait for the translation, answer 'yes' or 'no'!"

Sock it to 'em, egghead.

2. Context: The 1988 Vice Presidential debate between Sen. Dan Quayle (Republican running mate of George H. W. Bush) and Sen. Lloyd Bentsen (Democratic running mate of Michael Dukakis). The campaign highlighted Quayle's relatively short time in the Senate as a marker of his inexperience, should he ever be elevated to the presidency. In rebuttal, Quayle often compared himself to John F. Kennedy by saying that Kennedy had no more experience than he had when Kennedy sought the presidency, to which Bentsen replied,

"Senator, I served with Jack Kennedy; I knew Jack Kennedy; Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy."

Meow, baby.

3. Context: The 1963 March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom, at which Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., adressed the crowd from the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C. and gave his famous "I Have a Dream" speech. This is classic, and should be read in its entirety by ALL Americans.

"I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.'"

Obviously.

4. Context: In 1954, during the Army-McCarthy hearings in which Sen. Joseph McCarthy was attempting to weed out communists from the Army. During some aggressive questioning from the Army's lawyer, Joseph Welch, McCarthy fired back that Welch should be more concerned with tending to his own organizations. He specifically referenced an attorney from Welch's Boston law office, Fred Fisher, who had come under suspicion because of his involvement with the National Lawyers' Guild, an organization suspected of being a communist front. In a pre-trial agreement McCarthy and Welch had agreed not to bring Fisher up because the matter was already under investigation. When McCarthy violated this agreement in mentioning Fisher, Welch fired back with this classic retort.

"Let us not assassinate this lad further, Senator... You've done enough. Have you no sense of decency, sir, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?"

I use this one myself sometimes. The reference usually gets lost on most people.

5. Context: The Minnesota State Fair in 1901, at which Vice President Theodore Roosevelt articulated what's known as "Big Stick Diplomacy" in which the United States had the right to not only oppose European intervention in the Western hemisphere, but also to use forceful means to head it off. Examples are mostly from United States involvement in Latin America and the Caribbean.

"Speak softly and carry a big stick."

Weirdly, President McKinley would be assassinated twelve days later, giving Roosevelt the chance to implement his policy as 26th President of the United States.

6. Context: December 8, 1941, the day after the Empire of Japan bombed the US Naval installation at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii. President Franklin Roosevelt stood before the assembled Congress to ask for a declaration of war.

"Yesterday, December 7, 1941 -- a date which will live in infamy -- the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan."

7. Context: The 1832 Supreme Court case Worcester v. Georgia. At the time, Georgia required any white person living in Native American territory to be licensed by the state. Several missionaries refused to obtain the license on the grounds that the state of Georgia had no right to enforce laws on sovereign Indian nations. They contested the law all the way to the Supreme Court. In a surprise decision, the Court (under the stewardship of Chief Justice John Marshall) struck down the Georgia law, effectively acknowledging the existence of sovereign Indian communities within the United States. President Andrew Jackson, who nearly always took an unfavorable view towards Native Americans, and is credited with something of a Native American holocaust with his Indian removal policies, expressed his reaction to the decision.

"John Marshall has made his decision; now let him enforce it!"

8. Context: At the height of the Civil War, Abraham Lincoln traveled to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania several months after the Union armies decisively defeated the Confederacy in the Battle of Gettysburg. To commemorate the battle, and those lost in it, Lincoln gave the now-famous Gettysburg Address, which many a grade-schooler ever since has been obliged to memorize.

"Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal."

9. Context: The 1925 Scopes trial, in which Tennessee schoolteacher Thomas Scopes was brought to court for teaching the theory of evolution in defiance of state laws the prohibited the teaching of any theory that denied the story of divine creation presented in the Bible. In a famous turn of events, the defense attorney, Clarence Darrow, called for an expert on the Bible, a call that was readily answered by the prosecuting attorney and influential politician, William Jennings Bryan. During the questioning, Darrow attempted to show that belief in the historicity of the Bible was unreasonable and should not be taught as science.

"You insult every man of science and learning in the world because he does not believe in your fool religion. [...] We have the purpose of preventing bigots and ignoramuses from controlling the education of the United States."

10. Context: The 1949 Supreme Court case Terminiello v. Chicago, in which a priest had been convicted under a Chicago ordinance for breach of peace. Terminiello was convicted of breaching the peace at a rally where his anti-Semitic, pro-Nazi ranting incited quite a large protest (understandably). Terminiello appealed, and on review Justice William Douglas wrote the majority opinion overturning Terminiello's conviction and striking down the city ordinance as unconstitutional. According to Douglas, no matter how inflamatory, free speech must be protected:

"The choice is not between order and liberty. It is between liberty with order and anarchy without either. There is danger that, if the court does not temper is doctrinaire logic with a little practical wisdom, it will convert the constitutional Bill of Rights into a suicide pact."

And there you have it, folks!

Take THAT dissertation committee!

2007-08-07T11:25:00.000-04:00

I actually just wrote the following sentence in my dissertation:

In the case of a man who claimed he was anally raped by a dog, Lacassagne’s extensive analysis of the shape and size of a dog’s penis, the methods through which one can arouse a dog’s desire, and the mechanics involved in the actual perpetration of the canine “pederasty” served only to elucidate the grotesque details for the voyeuristic reader.

I am the most awesome intellectual. EVAR.

Edited to add: I just realized that posting that will probably get me all kinds of hits from people searching for "anal rape" and "dogs" together. I love the internet.

"Happy, happy birthday baby..."

2007-07-25T12:12:00.001-04:00

Lots of activity in the past couple of days, kids.

This weekend was Bryan's birthday, so we went to New York City to celebrate. We spent the weekend hanging out with one of my best friends from high school, and she dutifully took us out-of-towners where we wanted to go. But, first things first.

We got there after a grueling 6 hours in traffic and parked the car near my friend's Brooklyn apartment before taking the subway into the city. Of course, we had to stop at the Apple Store on 5th Ave., as it's kind of a holy place for Bryan. Also, it's right next to F.A.O. Schwarz, so we could pick up some toys for the new nephew and the soon-to-be-daughter of one of Bryan's good friends.

After dinner, we met up with my friend at her workplace. She took us to the roof of her building in Herald Square (which, as a matter of fact, is where the above picture came from). After she got off of work around midnight, we went to Lincoln Center to see this art installation. The theory behind it is cool. The artist filmed dancers performing, but slowed the frame rate way down so it looks like they're floating in mid-air and holding leg extensions for eons. It was very cool, and quite relaxing to watch as we lay on the cement of the plaza.

On Saturday, we spent the whole day at Coney Island for the Siren Music Festival. I had never been to Coney Island before, and all the impressions I get of it from the media are of a drug-ridden former paradise. It was actually kind of charming in certain respects, although it was VERY crowded and VERY hot, with no shade. Being the delicate flower that I am, I was slathered in sunscreen and sought shade at every possible opportunity. The highlight of Coney Island was riding the Cyclone roller coaster. It was fun, I guess. If you like being beaten to a bloody pulp. The ride was so rough, Bryan has bruises all over his body (I guess he's the delicate flower in that scenario). Later that night, some other friends of mine came in for a birthday dinner at the Park Slope Alehouse.

Sunday we left Brooklyn after eating a couple of burritos the size of our heads, and we had dinner with my family in Connecticut at one of the best seafood restaurants in the state before heading home. All in all, it was a good weekend, and Bryan enjoyed his birthday which is all I really cared about in the first place.

Next week, we're off to Indiana to visit the new nephew and experience the heartland, so I'm looking forward to a week of chain restaurants and fast food joints.

If you can't say anything nice...

2007-07-23T16:01:00.000-04:00

This meme looks really interesting, and is very different from a lot of the memes out there. I thought I'd give it a try.

List ten things you want to say to 10 people you know, but never will for whatever reason. Don't say who they are. Use each person only once and only use one sentence.

1. You are quick to point out the things you see as faults in others, but you are absolutely incapable of seeing those exact same traits in yourself.
2. I am severely disappointed that you didn't even call me on my birthday.
3. You used our friendship to manipulate me because you knew you could.
4. You intimidate me as much as you inspire me.
5. I will never forgive you for what you did to me.
6. I'm capable of far more than you think I am, but you never give me the chance.
7. Our friendship is one of the things that I cherish most in my life.
8. Were you to ever not be in my life, I would experience the biggest, deepest, saddest sense of loss I have ever known.
9. I'm almost a Ph.D., and you sell shoes for living, and I don't feel at all badly that I'm gloating about that.
10. I hate your significant other.

I wanted to try out Blogger's picture posting capability.

2007-07-19T16:27:00.001-04:00

Just a silly picture of me singing really bad opera in front of the Opéra Garnier in Paris.

It's that kind of day.

"I know I must keep travelin' till my road comes to an end..."

2007-07-03T09:47:00.000-04:00

OK, Will. Ha ha. Here's another post -- this year, yet -- just for you, Mr. Smarty Pants. And, for the record, yes, the dead bird is off of my car. That car, as a matter of fact, is now completely defunct. Head gasket blown, wheel baring rapidly going down the tubes, brakes no longer functioning. It sits in the driveway like a beached whale, gathering pollen dust and bird poo. Pretty soon I'll have to get some cinder blocks and turn it into a planter or something for the front yard. But that $500 air conditioning I paid for last summer works like a champ. If there was a patron saint for automobiles, I'd kick him or her in his or her respective naughties.

Aside from the car, life continues on. I've been granted a research fellowship for the summer, so I spend most days confined in my apartment reading through dusty tomes (or photocopies of dusty tomes) and writing my magnum opus. It's currently on page 30 or so. I must say, after 6 years of working toward this moment, I thought that the writing process would be easier. I mean I have all of my arguments, tons of notes, and a skeletal outline. Alas, no -- not so easy. It is the most soul-sucking endeavor I've yet encountered in grad school, and as many of you know, grad school has no dearth of soul-suckage.

Bryan continues at his job, although hopefully not much longer, and he's eagerly anticipating meeting his new nephew when we head to Indianapolis at the end of July. My mom knitted him a new baby blanket, which is really cute, and we're both looking forward to giving it to the blessed child when we see him. As well as meeting the little'un, it will be my first time meeting Bryan's brother which should be interesting. I only get Bryan's view of his brother most of the time, so I'll be keen to know if he lives up to his reputation.

Bryan and I have a relatively new addition to the family, our beloved Oscar. He has several annoying habits, but when he's not currently engaged in yowling, scratching, or tearing about the house, he's darned cute. Bryan continues to try to "train" him. Mostly, it's kind of like watching an episode of ALF. The furry being does something annoying and mildly destructive; we berate him for all of thirty seconds; he gives us the googly eyes; we all have a hearty laugh and snuggle on the couch.

My best friend got married this weekend. The wedding was beautiful, she was beautiful -- the whole thing was beautiful (or, à la Cabaret, "Bee-YOO-tee-ful!"). I'm happy for her, if I'm a bit sad for me. We'll never hang out, just the two of us, like we used to, or do any of the impulsive things we were fond of in our earlier years. No matter how much I look to the future, when the future arrives, there's always part of me that wants to maintain just a little bit of the past. I guess that's what photo albums are for.

And there it is folks. The update. Hopefully to be followed by more, although probably not on anything resembling a normal schedule. Um, yeah. Tally-ho!

Transit umbra, lux permanet.

2007-05-03T11:10:00.000-04:00

Well, well, well.

Where have I been, you may ask? Paris. Houston. Boston. School. Home. Work. Everywhere and nowhere.

Where am I going? Too soon to tell. In some senses I'm sliding in to home base; in others, I've yet to step up to the plate.

Keep an eye on this space in the future. I'm coming back.

You ain't seen the last of me.

File Under: "EEEEEEEEW!"

2006-06-16T13:57:00.000-04:00

There is a dead baby bird on the windshield of my car.

Enough said.

Updates and a Five

2006-06-02T10:51:00.000-04:00

Hello once again, all. Some quick updates:

-This past Saturday was the 6 month-iversary of Bryan's and my relationship! Being the incredibly poor grad student that I am, I planned an inexpensive, yet enjoyable afternoon. I cooked lemon chicken and Montauk seafood salad (thanks, Ina Garten!), and planned a road trip to the Webb Memorial Park in Weymouth. Unfortunately, on the way we got lost and ended up at Nantasket instead. It's all good, though...Nantasket turned out to be nicer than the Webb Memorial Park, which we visited on our way back to Boston. And then, we sealed the afternoon with a viewing of the new X-Men movie. So, although I've said it to him already in person, here it is for the fans, if a little late: Happy anniversary, Bryan. I love you very much.

-As part of our 6-month extravaganza, we had "the discussion," and it's official: we'll be moving in together in the fall! It's a big step, and it's a little scary, but I also think it'll be really great. I have visions of keeping the home fires burning for my man, as he swaggers in from a long day at the office to see dinner prepared, on the table, and his lovely boyfriend in a completely retro apron and a big grin -- and nothing else. So, the apartment hunt begins!

And now, the Friday Five: Love Songs
1. "Dream a Little Dream of Me" - Mama Cass: I *adore* this song. It's such a simple melody, and yet it's so plaintively expressed in Mama Cass' remarkable voice. And the message, however plain, is very powerful: the stars may fade, but I will linger on in your dreams. *Sigh.*
2. "Unchained Melody" - Righteous Brothers: A classic. When Bobby Hetfield hits those high notes toward the end, you can feel the yearning in his voice...he really *does* NEED your love.
3. "The Way You Look Tonight" by anyone. This song is absolutely perfect. To anyone who doesn't know it: Listen to it, or be sentenced to cretinhood for all eternity.
4. "Every Breath You Take" - The Police. Yes, I know it's creepy, but that's what makes it great. Sometimes, love is creepy.
5. "Open Arms" - Journey. This one is for the '80s hair band crowd. Steve Perry has a great voice, and this song uses it to its full potential. Plus, I have very fond memories of dancing with girls (eek!) at the yearly Band Banquet in high school. Yes, I am that much of a dork.

Happy weekend everyone!

An Adult Survey

2006-05-24T11:22:00.000-04:00

So I found this at Will's site, and since my love for memes has no bounds, I thought it would make an interesting blog post. Here goes...

1. Ever been to a male strip club? Not once.
2. Ever been to a female strip club? Exactly once. I used to have a friend in college who worked at the Glass Slipper as "Vixen." I should have had her teach me a thing or two, because damn that was impressive.
3. Ever been to a bar? THOUSANDS of times. Well, maybe not thousands. But lots.
4. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club? Do you not see the halo above my head?
5. Ever been so drunk you had to be carried out? From a bar? No.
6. Ever been so drunk you blacked out? Passed out, yes. Blacked out, no.
7. Kissed someone of the same sex (no relatives)? That is *so* against God's plan.
8. Thrown up from drinking too much? A couple of times, yeah. Not my finest moments, but what I remember of the occasions that brought on the hurling tells me I had a damned good time.
9. Had sex with more than one person in a 24 hour period? Oh lord no.
10. Had sex in a car? I've always wanted to try it!
11. Had sex in a park? Nope.
12. Had sex in a movie theater? Nope.
13. Had sex in a bathroom? Nope.
14. Had sex in a school? Nope.
15. Have you ever been in an "adult" store? Every one in the New England area, it seems.
16. Have you ever purchased items from an adult store? Yes indeed.
17. Have you spent over $100.00 in one visit to the adult store? Not that I can recall. I can rarely bring myself to spend $100 at one time in ANY store.
18. Is there someone you wished you never had sex with? Oh my yes. One guy, about 7 years ago. I was totally duped by his apparent charm and reasonable good looks. And the fact that I was a horny teenager. Ah, youthful indiscretions.
19. Is there someone you wished you would have had sex with? Hmmm. At the time I was pining for them, yes, but in retrospect I'm SOOO glad that didn't happen.
20. How many partners have you had? 4, but that doesn't include the numerous people I only *made out* with.
21. Have you ever received oral sex? Yes.
22. Have you ever given oral sex? Yes.
23. Have you ever had a threesome? I feel like that's one more penis than I can handle at a time.
24. Are your breasts real? I'm actually a fem-bot. I can shoot bullets from my nipples.
25. Have you ever used viagra (or anything like it)? Haven't needed it so far.
26. Would you rather give or receive oral sex? Hmmm. I think I prefer giving, but both are pleasurable for different reasons.
27. Have you ever kissed a stranger? Several.
28. How old were you when you first had sex? 18. We were both freshmen in college.
29. Have you ever had a one night stand? Nope.
30. Were you honest in this survey? To the letter.

"Summertime, and the livin' is easy..."

2006-05-23T12:39:00.000-04:00

Well, summer vacation is finally upon us. As such, it is time for a few summer resolutions:

1. Lose weight. This is a recurring theme with me. It seems every winter I go through the process of putting on insulatory weight only to cry in horror as I stare at my flab in the mirror wearing my oh-so-cute, but now oh-so-tight summer outfits. So, as part of my summer regimen I am going on a diet, and I am going to attempt to take up jogging. We'll see how well this works. Last time I tried jogging, I went exactly once and almost collapsed into a ragged panting heap on the side of the road. Most decidedly not fabulous.

2. Dissertation research. There has to be a lot of it. This is my time to do one big push to get the majority of it done and move on to some hardcore writing. I've done bits and pieces here and there -- conferences, publications, etc. -- but I'm actually going to try to attempt a whole chapter by the end of the summer. Ay!

3. Save money. I have not been the best about this, mostly because I don't make enough to have the luxury of putting some away for a rainy day. And I know that Bryan and I like to live in a certain style. But profligacy does not become me when, at the end of the month, I'm eating six-month-old ramen noodles 3 meals a day.

4. Read at least one non-dissertation book a month. I have to be reminded, occasionally, why I like reading -- especially when all I'm usually reading are dry academic texts that I have to analyze in a thoughtful manner. Outside reading helps take away those blues.

5. My word, some chick just walked by wearing a hideous skirt. Someone lied to her.

6. Generally, be fabulous at any and all occasions.

OK, that's it. I certainly have my work cut out for me.

The Friday Five: Musicals

2006-05-12T10:30:00.000-04:00

Today's topic? The five best musicals of all time according to me!

1. Sweeney Todd, The Demon Barber of Fleet Street: This 1979 gem is my absolute favorite musical. I am an unabashed Stephen Sondheim fan (hell, what queer isn't?), but I think this one towers above his other works. The way he skillfully wove musical themes throughout the epic "musical thriller" is breathtaking, as well as the fact that he took a very big risk with this one and it worked spectacularly. Few musicals with such dark themes survive (see the ill-fated Carrie and Side Show), but this one -- about a macabre barber who slakes his thirst for revenge by slitting the throats of his customers, while his adoring neighbor Mrs. Lovett makes the bodies into meat pies -- was extremely successful thanks to the charismatic performances of Len Cariou and Angela Lansbury. Notable number: "A Little Priest."
2. Cabaret: This one, which debuted in 1966 and has spawned several revivals and an Oscar-winning film starring Liza Minnelli (GASP!), is notable not only for its noble theatrical lineage (based on Christopher Isherwood's Berlin Stories and the John van Druten play I Am a Camera), but also for the fantastic score filled with show-stopping numbers by John Kander and Fred Ebb. Set in 1930s Berlin just before the rise of the Nazi party, this show captures the value-less cultural mentality of the Weimar Republic through cabaret songs commenting on the action of the show -- most of which are performed by a devilish Master of Ceremonies (classically performed by Joel Grey, and recently wickedly revived by Alan Cumming). Notable number: "Cabaret." (Ah...Liza.)
3. A Chorus Line: This innovative 1975 show with score by Marvin Hamlisch is notable for its breakdown of standard musical conventions. The play's action takes us behind the scenes to see the casting of a musical chorus line, a musical that we ironically don't get to see. In the witnessing of the casting process we get to see the lives, loves, and heartbreaks of the dancers being auditioned, giving us a sense of the humanity that exists behind the bright lights of the Broadway stage. Notable number: "One."
4. West Side Story: This 1957 musical "update" of Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet with score by Leonard Bernstein is pure magic because it skillfully blends the operatic composition that Bernstein is known for with a more populist sensibility. Plus, singing "I Feel Pretty" in front of your mirror is just big damn fun. Notable number: Too many to mention! "Tonight"; "Somewhere"; "America"; "Cool."
5. Les Misérables: This 1987 piece with score by Alain Boublil and Claude-Michel Schonberg epitomizes the epic stories that are common to 1980s musicals and also helped to sustain the '80s obsession with spectacle -- from The Phantom of the Opera's re-creation of the Opéra Garnier in Paris to the helicopter descending on the roof of the American Embassy in Miss Saigon. What's excellent about "Les Miz" in particular is that it has a lot of that Broadway flash and flambuoyance without being over-the-top: the rotating stage lending a seemless transition between scenes and a climactic scene involving the re-creation of the Parisian barricades of the Revolution of 1830 topping the list. Notable number: "One Day More."

What do you queens think?

Had I but world enough, and time...

2006-05-09T14:01:00.000-04:00

...I could blog consistently and not be such a wank. (My apologies to Mr. Marvell.)

OK, so I've neglected the blog for far too long. I can try and rationalize it, but I won't. Honestly, all I can say is that I've been busy, and I've been lazy, and the blog has been the last thing on my mind. So, here's an update:

-The conference. It went better than I could have imagined. It was my first academic conference, so I was very nervous about presenting my work to a room full of my peers. But, it turns out that everyone was very excited by my work, they had a ton of questions, and quite a few had some very helpful suggestions. One man, whose work I was actually commenting on in my paper, was in attendance...and instead of berating me for getting his argument completely wrong, he was very impressed with the "improvements" I had made on his thesis and told me to keep up the good work. Huzzah for me, I say.

-The midwest. The conference was my first time farther west than Valley Forge, Pennsylvania, and I have to say that it wasn't quite what I expected. First, everyone had told me it was flat. I didn't expect it to be quite sooooo flat. Seriously, you could see for miles unimpeded. Second, the local citizenry was a lot more diverse than I had expected. Honestly, I expected only to see gaggles of corn-fed white boys (and who doesn't love those?), but there was a dazzling array of colors and cultures. Granted, I was in a college town, but still it was pretty impressive. Third, and last, culture shock! Everyone was very friendly (unlike here in good ol' Puritan Boston), but also slightly right-of-center in their politics (again, unlike good ol' Kennedy-loving Massachusetts). While I was on the quad of the conference University, one of the undergraduate student groups was holding a raffle to win a rifle, and encouraging whomever won to trade it in for store credit so that they could actually get an automatic. *Shudder.*

-Teaching. It's over! I have but to give my final exam, and my first official course will have been completed successfully. I have to say, I ended up learning many things as well as imparting knowledge to a few undergraduates. And not only about history, but also about people and pedagogy.

-Summer plans. Well, I won't be slaving around the office day job all summer like I have for the past couple of years -- I got a summer research fellowship that will allow my to work exclusively on my dissertation without having to worry about how I'm going to feed myself! Sadly, it's not enough to get me to France, but it is enough to get a sizable chunk of my research done and even, perhaps, to start writing a chapter or two! That is, provided I can get my ass in gear and actually be productive. Faced with a summer of ostensibly "free" time, how many people would have the willpower to read 19th-century medical journals rather than spend all day lounging about the beach, the mall, or the couch? Also in the works for the summer are a few friends' weddings, and my second-ever trip to the midwest with Bryan -- to Canada and his lovely home state of Indiana.

-The relationship. It's going very well! Bryan and I aren't ready to kill each other just yet, and we're even talking about moving in together in the fall (despite my repeated claim to not want to discuss it until our 6-monthiversary at the end of May). The prospect is scary, but it's also very exciting! Other than that, we've been carrying on our weekly ritual of American Idol obsession; we've been hanging out with friends (both mine and his -- and even some mixing of the two!); I've been trying to educate him on the glories of some old classic films (we started with Cabaret, and will be working our way through All About Eve, Sunset Boulevard, and The Manchurian Candidate); and he's been absolutely wonderful in teaching me about music, cars, cooking, and just life in general. The poor baby is sick right now, so everyone please wish him well!

So, in brief, life is good. Now let's see if I can get into blogging again for more than a day every few weeks or so...

The Friday Five: Albums of the 1990s

2006-03-17T11:29:00.000-05:00

So I've decided to institute a new weekly posting tradition: the Friday Five, wherein I choose the Top 5 of Whatever Topic I Think Of That Week. Comments, arguments, agreements, and suggestions for future topics are all welcome!

This week: The Top 5 Albums of the 1990s

1. Nirvana - Nevermind: The grunge revolution may have brought about the death of my beloved hair metal, but I'll be damned if it didn't perfectly capture my teenage angst in its incomprehensible lyrics and distorted guitars. Key track: "Smells Like Teen Spirit."
2. Pearl Jam - Ten: Another grunge classic, but unlike Nirvana's emphasis on sound and fast-paced rocking, Pearl Jam's introspective lyrics and takes on contemporary issues like school violence had a lasting impact. Key track: "Jeremy."
3. Madonna - Ray of Light: The Material Girl transforms herself yet again into a maven of spirituality. This album brought techno music into the mainstream by combining techno's emphasis on heavy beats and electronic instrumentation with a raw emotion infusing technology with a soul. Key track: "Frozen."
4. Britney Spears - ...Baby One More Time: Far from musically incisive, this little gem brought about a revolution in pop music by reviving dance-floor-ready, infectious, bubble-gum pop music after the musically angst-ridden days of the mid-90s. Sure, we may have her to blame for endless boy bands, Spears-wannabes, and Kevin Federline but this jewel still makes me wanna shake my proverbial groove thang. Key track: "...Baby One More Time."
5. Lauryn Hill - The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill: She's nuttier than squirrel turds, but this album was brilliant. Urban beats, amazing rap rhymes, and a voice that won't quit. Perfection. Key track: "Everything is Everything."

Thoughts anyone?

Culture Corner: La Grande Odalisque

2006-03-14T18:35:00.000-05:00

Jean-Auguste Ingrès
La Grande Odalisque, 1814

This painting, currently housed at the Louvre in Paris, is another mystery of symbolic representation à la Las Meninas. This time, however, instead of the visual spacing of the piece's main characters, the mystery of La Grande Odalisque resides in the anatomy of the Odalisque herself. If you look closely at the lengthy, sinuous back of the alluring, exotic Odalisque you might notice a strange phenomenon -- notably, that she appears to have far too many vertebrae for an average human female.

Art historians and critics have argued over this apparent "flub" in anatomical representation for ages. Was Ingrès a shoddy hand at anatomical representation? Or is there some deeper meaning in endowing his creation with a longer-than-average backside? In teaching my own course in modern history, I try to fit the piece into the larger Neo-Classical/Romantic movement of the late-eighteenth and early-nineteenth centuries. The Romantics were prone to representing things that would evoke emotion through scenes of vast, majestic landscapes, representations of the dark side of human nature and the occult, and through exploration of the exotic. As such, I argued to my students that the reason for the Odalisque's incorrect anatomy might be to call attention to the old Romantic emphasis on feeling rather than exact representation.

Current explanations would have us look at the broader symbolism of the image by representing a symbolic juxtaposition between the innermost thoughts of the woman and her social role -- something that Ingrès was fond of doing in his other work. For example, if you look at the face of the Odalisque, her expression belies a complex psychological make-up: her expression is aloof, dispassionate, and inscrutable. She is, at base, a mystery. As an Odalisque (a woman retained by a sultan in his personal harem), however, her role is not to think or feel, but rather to exist for bodily pleasure. This theme would be consistent with broader nineteenth-century views on female gender roles -- "public women," i.e., prostitutes, fulfilled a vitally important social role as repositories of male sexual desire. Thus, the larger-than-average pelvis would be a symbolic exaggeration of the "public woman's" social station. The effect of the elongated back, therefore, is to make the pelvis (the symbolic representation of the Odalisque's social station) more prominent and to distance the head (the complex inner psychology of the subject) from her prescribed social role.

Many thanks to Drs. Jean-Yves Maigne, Gilles Chatelier, and Hélène Norlöff for this fascinating new perspective on one of my favorite pieces of art.

Pity Party

2006-03-08T10:44:00.000-05:00

March is typically a bad month for grad students around here because it's time for financial aid applications to be due, it's midterm season for undergrads so there's a mountain of grading to be done, and on top of it all I personally have a conference paper to finish. So, even though this week is technically spring break, I've been working my ass off trying to get all of this hoo-ha done. Believe me, I'd much rather be waxing philosophical (or somethin') on the blog, but instead I have to force my way through towers of undergraduate writing and bite my nails while the graduate committee reviews my financial aid application.

Hopefully by next week I'll be able to take a breather and write something of actual interest. Wish me luck!

Go Paula. No, really...just go.

2006-03-02T15:21:00.000-05:00

Oh, Paula, Paula, Paula. Gone are the heady days of the late 80s and early 90s when you ruled the airwaves with your slightly nasal vocals telling us to "straight up now tell" you that "he's a cold-hearted snake" that you loved because "opposites attract." Like the former Laker girl that you are, you could dance with the best of them -- and we enjoyed watching you crawl all over that neo-industrial ironwork contraption in the "Coldhearted" video as equally as we swooned for you shaking your booty with MC Skat Kat in "Opposites Attract." I have many fond memories of those days. Together, you and I, we made wonderful memories of pre-adolescent sleepovers and semi-formal middle school dances. Among many divas of my youth, you were a star second only to Madonna. But now, we must part ways.

I will admit that occasionally on your recurring gig as the "nice judge" on American Idol you look fabulous. That piece you had on last night was stunning, with your shapely figure fairly busting out of that gold-lamé top and your russet locks falling alluringly over your shoulders. But, as your cohort Simon Cowell often acerbically states, a pretty face does not make up for inadequacy. As a judge you are, in a word, useless.

I only wish that I had as much faith in most of those contestants as you apparently do. You are seemingly inspired by every performance -- bad, good, and in between. And I admire your faith, I do. But it is not doing these kids any good to praise them for mediocrity. Perhaps, in your rose-colored world, sour notes are perfectly acceptable in a pop star. Lord knows we forgave you for quite a few missteps ("Will You Marry Me?" anyone?). But I, for one, am not as forgiving. I can do without screechy renditions of Stevie Wonder songs and hackneyed pop-rock stylings of corn-fed trailer trash. Their mere presence makes the integrity of the competition somewhat circumspect for those few that actually do belong there (hello, Mandisa!).

So, Paula, I beg you. Get some sense. Restore my faith in you and help me regain at least a smidgen of that starry-eyed optimism of the 90s. And bring back that gold-lamé top. Really, it was fierce.

Culture Corner: Las Meninas

2006-03-01T14:37:00.000-05:00

Diego Velázquez, Las Meninas (The Maids of Honor)
1656

This is one of my favorite paintings of all time. It is currently housed in the Museo del Prado in Madrid, and although I have never seen it in person, I fell in love with it the minute I saw a print of it in an old art history text. The more I read about this painting, the more I like it -- it blends style, grace and elegance without the typical Baroque over-the-top flourish. At the same time, the unusual spacial position of the piece's central figures renders it a mystery to those who gaze upon it.

The picture is a portrait of the Infanta Margarita, the Spanish princess. She is surrounded by her maids, a dwarf, and a dog. The man in front of the canvas is Velázquez himself, and the king and queen are seen reflected in the mirror at the rear of the room.

The central focus would appear to be the Infanta, as she is at the center of the painting. She is the smallest of the foreground figures, but she is the focus of the movement nonetheless. Her maids lean and kneel toward her in deference, and her broad shoulder and wide hoop skirt make her the fulcrum of the scene. The dwarf is there for contrast--in comparison to the ugliness of the dwarf, the Infanta appears delicate and graceful.

While the Infanta is the subject of the foreground, the center of the piece is clearly the king and queen reflected in the background. However, this is highly unusual. In most Baroque portraits, the subject of the portrait is shown as the most prominent object of the scene to lend a weight typical to Baroque opulence. In Las Meninas, however, the king and queen are not even "really" in the painting, merely their reflection. The visual suggestion is that the king and queen are somewhere beyond the boundaries of the painting -- in fact, due to the visual spacing of the reflection, they would be in our place, as viewers of the scene. This paradoxical "absent presence" is compounded by the fact that, in the painting, Velázquez's canvas is hidden from our view. Therefore, it can be assumed that we, as viewers, in the position of the king and queen (who are the "real" subjects of both Las Meninas and the canvas being executed in the painting) are truly the subject of the painting. It begs the question: who is the real subject of the painting? What is significant about the fact that we the viewers and the king and queen are representationally occupying the same space?

This piece has been puzzled over by far more brilliant minds than mine: Michel Foucault, Sir Thomas Lawrence, Pablo Picasso, and many others. It is a true testament to the power of the arts to confuse, inspire, and stimulate. Enjoy!

Hello again.

2006-02-28T10:37:00.000-05:00

I'm a terrible, terrible blogger. But I have reasons!

February was an incredibly busy month for me:

-Aside from my normal lecturing/reading/writing/teaching duties, I was asked by the department to sit on a committee of graduate students that would have input as to which candidate to hire for their latest job search. In academia, the job interview process is VERY lengthy, often involving about 2 days worth of meeting faculty and grad students, meeting deans, giving job talks and teaching demonstrations and any other assorted nonsense that the school can dream up. It's exhausting. Now, it was very exciting for me to be on this committee -- it gave me a lot of insight into the job search process, and it gave me departmental experience that I can put on my CV -- but good Lord in butter, it was time consuming. Interviewing, meeting with the committee, compiling reports, going to job talks...sheesh. And what happened in the end? The department didn't pick the candidate that we all wanted. In fact, they picked the ONE candidate that all the grad students agreed the department should NOT hire. C'est la vie.

-I had a birthday! On this past February 14 (yes, Valentine's Day), I turned the ripe old age of 27. I am now in my late-20s. It's just one short stumble into 30 from here. The birthday was delightful, and even doubly delightful because it was the first Valentine's Day that I've enjoyed as such, all thanks to Bryan. On the 14th, he had a "bouquet" of chocolate-covered strawberries delivered to my office, and later that evening he made me dinner at his place -- a variation on the first meal that we had together back in October. *GUSH* On the 15th, birthday/V-Day part II was dinner at The Fireplace in Brookline. Wonderful meal, lovely ambiance, and even lovelier company.

-My roommate also had a birthday this past week, so the two of us had a joint birthday party at our place in Watertown on Saturday night. A motley assortment of people (grad students, high school friends, college friends, relatives, theater nerds, polyamorous pagans, and even a burlesque dancer named Juicy the Clown) gathered for some drunken revelry and cake. Our apartment was destroyed afterward, but the proverbial good time was had by all. Except when Asian Bitch Boyfriend of My Friend C was so sloppy drunk that he was flinging his expensive white wine all over my pants.

-The conference is coming up in April, and my paper has to be distributed to my panel by the end of March. Seeing as I haven't completed the research for said paper, I've been trying to get my ass in gear so that I can impress all of my colleagues with my vast knowledge of Belle Époque French pornography. BONUS: I just found out the chair of my panel is this guy whose work I very much admire, but whose work I also criticized in the article I published last year. Hopefully, he hasn't read it.

-I'll be adopting a cat in the near future! For my birthday, my sister gave me all the supplies I'd need to host a furry new addition to the family, something I've been talking about for the past 6 months or so. On Sunday, we drove all over creation trying to find a place to adopt a cat, only to discover that, apparently, you can't get cats on Sundays in Boston. The hunt continues...

OK kids, back to work. I'm hoping to post more regularly starting from today, because I hate that I'm not posting as often as I would like. So, here's to an optimistic new Blog-aissance.

Two Parties and a Meme

2006-01-30T14:08:00.000-05:00

Well, this weekend was just delightful. Despite being roundly trounced by Karl at Friday night's rummy game, the rest of the weekend turned out to be really great. The QBB gathering on Saturday at Sean's house was a lot of fun. It was great to see some familiar faces (Bryan, Karl, Will, Sean, Keith) and to meet some new ones (Chris, Atari, Jeff & Moe). I'm looking forward to the next one, y'all, and by the way -- a "heisman" is a "direct and impersonal rejection of a sexual overture, pass, or advance." It's based on the Heisman Trophy statue. Man, sometimes straight people are way lame.

Sunday was Chinese New Year, and since Bryan is of Chinese descent, I got dragged into a new holiday celebration. It was actually really great. It was pretty simple, involving mainly a lot of Chinese food dishes (prepared by Bryan!), and some hanging out and general merriment. I also learned something: Traditionally, if the year happens to correspond with your Chinese zodiac symbol, it's supposed to be a bad year for you. So, happy new year of the Dog to you all, except those of you who fall under the sign of the Dog! I hope you make it through the year with all of your limbs in tact. Gang hee fat choy!

OK, as I said before, I love blog memes, so here's one via Chris:
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences (#5, 6 & 7) on your blog, along with these instructions.
5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it. Just grab what is closest. No cheating.

So, here it is:

"'It's a mania all these women have got. One even went so far as to steal my dog...But is it my fault, my dear, if you drop her?'
"Rose turned around, deathly pale. Sipping her coffee, she gazed hard at Steiner, and all suppressed anger she felt at his abandonment of her flamed out in her eyes."

-Émile Zola, Nana, 1880

Nana is about a Second Empire courtesan and her insatiable drive to enter proper society, thus consuming all men that foolishly fall for her. This particular scene is when a rival courtesan, Rose Mignon, is fuming over the fact that Steiner, a rich banker, has thrown her over for Nana.

To be honest, there were several books within reach. However, the Communist Manifesto doesn't have 123 pages, the book on Romantic art on my desk only has three sentences on page 123, and the early 20th-century gay pornography on my desk (it's for RESEARCH, people!) is in French. So, you get Zola...and that, honestly, is the nearest book that fit all the appropriate restrictions.

Happy Monday!

"'The time has come,' the Walrus said, 'to talk of many things...'"

2006-01-25T15:27:00.000-05:00

OK, Bryan will probably kill me for a couple of things I'm about to reveal, but whatever, it's my blog and I'll post what I want. So, without further ado...

100 Things About JC

1. I was born on Valentine’s Day, 1979.
2. I’m originally from East Hartford, Connecticut.
3. I’m gay.
4. I came out to my friends while I was a Junior in high school.
5. I came out to my family while I was a Freshman in college.
6. I moved to Boston for school, and have been here ever since.
7. I’m currently a graduate student at the same institution I went to for undergrad.
8. I am in a Ph.D. program for European (mostly French) history.
9. I am proficient in French and German besides my native English.
10. To date, I have dated 6 people.
11. I have only had sexual relations with three of them.
12. All but two of the aforementioned paramours lasted less than a month.
13. Although I have never tried either one, I’m seriously turned on by the ideas of voyeurism and exhibitionism.
14. I don’t have a specific “type” of guy to whom I am attracted – my objects of lust range from Colin Farrell, Justin Timberlake, and Orlando Bloom to B.D. Wong, Chris Meloni, and Prince.
15. I work in academia, but I hate doing research.
16. On the other hand, I love teaching.
17. I am a published author.
18. I have a younger sister.
19. She and I are completely opposites in personality, but we get along really well.
20. My parents are still married despite the fact that I don’t know that they have anything in common.
21. I love art and art history, particularly the Baroque and Romantic eras.
22. Ditto for classical music.
23. I feel like I was cheated by my high school for not having to read enough “great literature,” so consequently almost everything I read is a “classic.”
24. Sometimes, I wonder why the book I’m reading is considered a “classic.”
25. I am a big science fiction/fantasy nerd.
26. When I was in middle school, my favorite books were the Lord of the Rings trilogy and the Dragonlance series.
27. I’m addicted to American Idol.
28. Half the reason I like watching it is because I watch it with my boyfriend and we make out during the commercials.
29. Did I mention I have a boyfriend?
30. I think he’s amazing.
31. We’re in love. :-)
32. I make fun of people for being sappily romantic, but deep down, I secretly like romance.
33. I used to play the clarinet.
34. I also used to be a dancer.
35. In dance competitions I was the runner-up to be Teen Mr. Dance of Connecticut.
36. Although I think gay culture is often fabulous, I don’t actually like a lot of gay people because I think they’re shallow.
37. In college, I was a big club kid/circuit boy.
38. Consequently, I now have a lot of useless clothing including shoes with silver flames on them and a black velvet shirt.
39. I am obsessed with Madonna.
40. Weirdly, I’m also obsessed with late-80s and early-90s hair metal.
41. I collect things, even if some of those things hold no personal enjoyment for me. For example, I hate Arnold Schönberg’s music, but I still have CDs of his stuff because I think I need it to have a well-rounded collection.
42. I am prone to exaggeration.
43. I think I’m ugly, and that’s not an exaggeration.
44. I often compensate for the lack of self-esteem by pretending to be fiercely independent and aloof.
45. My favorite painting is Las Meninas by Diego Velázquez.
46. Right now, I’m rockin’ out to Mötley Crüe’s “Kickstart My Heart.”
47. Sometimes, when I’m out, I act like a flamboyant queen to make people think I’m interesting.
48. I live with a loud, opinionated redhead.
49. I love her to death, but sometimes I think we’re too co-dependent.
50. Sometimes it seems like she and my boyfriend are in a cosmic battle for my soul.
51. I love Designing Women and will watch it every chance I get, even though I’ve seen every episode multiple times.
52. I tried the Atkins diet once. I lasted for four days before I got so ill that I broke down and had a muffin.
53. It was the best muffin I have EVER. TASTED.
54. Before this past year, I had not been on a date for almost 6 years.
55. I am a clinical hypochondriac with mild OCD.
56. I have a regimen of therapy and Zoloft to help me deal with it.
57. I used to be addicted to cybersex.
58. I have tried phone sex twice.
59. Both times I ended up laughing hysterically into the phone.
60. I also – once! – had cybersex while naked on my webcam. Please don’t judge me.
61. My first kiss wasn’t until I was 18 years old.
62. I have only ever kissed one girl, and that was because I was drunk.
63. It didn’t turn me on even a little bit.
64. I’m pretty agnostic – apathetic? – about religion, although I admire people who have strong faiths (so long as they don’t force it on other people).
65. When I was a little kid I used to have recurring nightmares about being swallowed by a giant lizard in a desert or being attacked by a snarling wolf-man.
66. I have no idea what that means.
67. I wear mostly boxer-briefs or boxers.
68. I once stole a Playboy magazine from my neighbor’s house.
69. Until recently, I had never 69ed with anyone.
70. I totally planned for that to be #69.
71. I was valedictorian of my high school class.
72. I love gargoyles because I think they’re cute.
73. I first came out to my mother as bisexual to soften the blow.
74. She called me on it.
75. I was in love with my college roommate.
76. He started dating a mutual friend, and now I don’t speak with either one of them.
77. I’ve only been to one other country: France.
78. I desperately want to go back.
79. I’ve met Debbie Gibson, Jasmine Guy, and Greg Louganis.
80. I really love musicals, my favorites being Into the Woods, Sweeney Todd, and Cabaret.
81. I’ve kissed two other bloggers.
82. I know how to read Tarot cards, and frequently consult them.
83. I don’t actually believe they work, but I think it’s interesting how accurate they can be.
84. I love horror movies.
85. I hate haunted houses.
86. When I was in second grade, I vomited in front of the class while giving a book report.
87. When my best friend left for college, I sat on my parents’ front porch and cried for an hour.
88. We’re still best friends, even though she is a hardcore Baptist who thinks homosexuality is a sin.
89. I never knew either of my grandfathers, as both of them died before I was born.
90. In elementary school, every day after school I would walk to my great-grandmother’s house to play cards with her.
91. She died when I was about 10 years old, and I still miss her.
92. I once saw someone get his legs severed by the T on Commonwealth Avenue in Allston.
93. I’m pretty close to both my immediate and extended families.
94. I’m terrified of insects and spiders.
95. I still enjoy camping.
96. With volume controls that are indicated by digits, I have to set the numbers on the evens or on the fives.
97. I didn’t particularly like Brokeback Mountain.
98. I think “open relationships” and “polyamory” are just excuses for being slutty.
99. The only part about exercising that I enjoy is looking at naked guys in the locker room.
100. I’m done!

Clearly, I suck at life.

2006-01-24T10:08:00.000-05:00

OK, I'm a loser of a blogger. I haven't been updating, and really, I have no valid excuse except to say that I'm lazy. Although, that's not entirely accurate either. In fact, I've been quite busy of late. School has started again, so I'm preparing lectures and assignments. I've been doing some cleaning at my apartment and re-organizing my room. I've been filling in for a colleague while he goes on some job interviews. And, of course, there's Bryan, with whom I seem to spend almost every spare moment. So I guess I'm not lazy -- I'm just so busy I don't have a lot of time to blog! It's bizarre...I was blogging almost every day when there was nothing special going on in my life, and now that I actually have some sort of existence I don't blog about it.

Political Thought of the Day: Does anyone else think the Democrats are total wimps? I'm not a Republican, and I almost always vote Democrat down the line. However, these Alito hearings have got me confused. The Democrats on the Senate Judiciary Committee never went in for the kill! When there was an inconsistency in his testimony, they missed it. When he skirted around answering a question, they let it go. Don't these people watch Law & Order? You ALWAYS make the witness look like a fool, especially when they give contradictory answers to direct questions. So basically, all of us liberals are fucked because Ted Kennedy and Chuck Schumer didn't have enough sense to hire some lawyers as consultants. Thanks, guys.

Coming soon: 100 Things About Me! I love blog memes, even though they are corny, and I thought this one was particularly interesting. Can I come up with 100 things to say about myself? We shall see.

"I'm the bells of St. Peter's in Rome...I'm tissue paper on a comb..."

2006-01-17T11:58:00.000-05:00

OK, Bryan might kill me for posting this, but it's truly exciting and news that's worthy of sharing: We finally said our "I Love Yous". Excuse me while my heart skips a few beats.

I've only said it to one other romantic interest in my life, and that time I said it only because he had said it first and I didn't want him to feel bad. I wasn't ready, and I should have been honest and just told him that. And I suffered for it later. But that's what made this time so much more special to me: I said it and I meant it. In fact, I said it first, knowing full well that not to hear it back would be one of the most painful things I would ever have to endure (and, thankfully, all turned out as I hoped!).

So, after a month of being on vacation, I'm finally back at school. But being in love makes it so much more bearable.

I usually don't gush like this, but dammit, I'm happy. So sue me.

À la Patty Smyth: "Victory is mi-i-i-i-ne!"

2006-01-06T11:33:00.000-05:00

So, the first rummy throw-down of 2006 bodes well for the rest of the year: I won! Sorry, Karl, better luck next time. I do have to say that that last hand was quite remarkable. So, mad props to you, home slice. Thanks for the hospitality and for introducing me to My Name is Earl. Damn, white trash are funny.

As is the standard on rummy nights, I had a bit of a T horror on the way home. I grant you, it is not as bizarre as some of my past experiences (see: conversation with tranny about his/her tits), or as bothersome (see: derailment that forced me to take a cab), but a trouble nonetheless. I usually park my car in Brookline and take the C line to the North End. So, on my ride back from the North End, as soon as the C line emerged onto Beacon Street we were stopped and prevented from going any further by the fact that some unfortunate soul (i.e., moron) was trying to cross the tracks in an apparent game of "chicken" with a speeding electric locomotive. And, natch, he got clobbered, his car is a disaster, and the C line got backed up all the way to Kenmore. So, what was a poor gay boy to do on a chilly January night while he was stranded miles from home and automobile? WALK. SEVERAL BLOCKS. IN THE COLD. ON SLIPPERY PAVEMENT. Apparently, being January in Boston, the roads and sidewalks were all covered in a thin layer of ice due to the recent moisture, which made the walk to my car more like a cross-country skiing event. I managed not to fall on my (already sizeable) ass, but the walk took a good 45 minutes. And, by the time I got home, my cell phone battery had died and it was really late so I couldn't check in with Bryan, making it the first time in I don't know how long that we haven't at least spoken to each other. Grrr. Why do the gods of public transportation apparently hate my kind-hearted soul?

In other news, I was incredibly productive yesterday. I seem to have re-discovered my passion for my dissertation and have been furiously reading and taking notes on various things. If I do say so myself, this paper that I'm concocting for my April conference is going to be spectacularly brilliant -- and hopefully fun, as it has to do with 19th-century representations of abnormal sexuality in French pornography.

OK, I'm not the biggest fan of Ariel Sharon. In fact, I think he's almost as bad as Hamas and other Palestinian terrorists. But, c'mon. This is ridiculous. Pat Robertson needs to have his head examined. Why does he think that God gives two figs about a tiny strip of land in the middle of the desert? And that he would actually care enough to smite the leader of his "Chosen People"? I think Andrew Sullivan makes a good point: the only difference between Robertson and other theocratic wingnuts like Iran's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is that Robertson is on the United States payroll. Separation of church and states indeed.

We now return to our regularly scheduled program. Eat snacky-smores.

2006-01-03T10:43:00.000-05:00

Hello and Happy New Year!

The holiday season has treated me very well so far (as we in academia technically have a vacation until mid-January, I'm still in the "holiday season"). Christmas was delightful, and I received many varied and sundry joyful artifacts. Among my favorites are my digital camera (which I have yet to use...but still, it's pretty darn-tootin' cool), this book that my sister got me titled My New Fighting Technique is Unstoppable (hilarious) and some shirts from Bryan, one of which boldly proclaims "I'm a rocker. I rock out." HELL YEAH I DO. Thank you to everyone, and may I offer a final "Merry Christmas" to you all. May the new year bring you all peace and prosperity throughout all of your days.

The rest of the time was spent mostly just hanging around with my family. I did manage to get in some time with some old friends as well. Christmas night I got together with two old friends from high school to play the 90's edition of Trivial Pursuit and laugh about old times. Of course, no trip down memory lane is complete without getting out the old yearbook and laughing over the size of my friends' bangs -- or, as I like to call it, the Great Wall of Aquanet. Also, a few days ago two of my best friends came up to visit me at my apartment and we played this awesome 80's music trivia game. Sadly, and against all expectation (ahem), I lost...but not by much.

For New Year's I went to a party at one of Bryan's friends' places. I have to admit to having gotten a little drunk. With a couple of Jell-O shots and mudslides under my belt, I was barely awake to see the ball drop and to mock Mariah Carey's hideous, whorish outfit. The highlight for me, though, was finally -- after 26 years -- having someone to kiss at midnight. Thanks Bryan. :-)

On the relationship front, Bryan and I passed our one-month-iversary (I hate using the word "anniversary" when it doesn't have to do with a yearly event). Given the quick expiration date of most gay male relationships, I'd say we're off to a running start. I couldn't have asked for a sweeter, kinder, cuter boyfriend. OK, end of gush.

I've also seen a couple of movies, so allow me to expound upon them forthwith:

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe: Eh, it was only OK, which is sad because I had high expectations for this one. The story is very close to the book, but it lacks the sense of awe and wonder that C.S. Lewis tried to impart through his storytelling. In the movie, the kids stumble through the wardrobe into a fantastical wintery forest in the land of Narnia, and from their reactions it seems a little "ho hum...what now?" Where's the SHOCK and AWE? I mean, you just walked through a closet into a magical kingdom filled with fauns and talking lions and you look as bored as if you were playing parlor games at granny's! The best thing about the movie was Tilda Swinton as Jadis, the White Witch. I like my evil villainesses to be castrating bitches, and she filled the role with aplomb. Go on, gurl.

Brokeback Mountain: A lot has been said about this movie, but allow me to put in my two cents. For an emotional story, I would like to see a bit more emotion. I felt like there was no catharsis, no emotional outpouring to make you sob and quake in your seat. I mean, c'mon people...gay cowboys. Are we to assume that just because they rustle sheep for a living they can't be drama queens like the rest of us? Those tight jeans must be terribly uncomfortable...that alone would make me irritable enough to have it out with my sheepherding boyfriend. PLUS there wasn't nearly enough of Jake and Heath making out. A few butt shots and a watered-down tent-hump isn't gonna cut it, people.

And so, it's back to my day job for the next couple of weeks before classes start up again after Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. Until then, it's answering phones and filing files and doing some research for the ol' dissertation (and for a conference paper that I have to give in April -- I just got accepted this weekend! Woohoo!). Happy New Year everyone, wishing you the best for 2006!

"May the calendar keep bringing happy holidays to you..."

2005-12-21T10:03:00.000-05:00

I can't believe it's been so long since I've posted! I suppose the holidays will do that to you, what with all the rushing around, parties, shopping, eating, etc. I do really love this time of year, but it is just so exhausting.

Yesterday, at long last, I posted the final grades for my class, so now I am officially on VACATION! And not just any vacation...a THREE WEEK VACATION! I love working in academia. Although I don't know why I'm so excited because I don't have any terribly exciting plans, really. I suppose just the thought of having time to lounge about and enjoy some holiday cheer is making me giddy. I'm going home to Connecticut for Christmas tomorrow and I'll be back in Boston next week to just hang. And then we'll see where life takes me. A trip to visit my best friend in New Jersey is potentially in the works, and that will probably be the last hurrah before it's back to school with me. But, right at this moment, the world is my oyster.

Over the past week or so I've spent a lot of time grading various assignments and exams, and I've spent most evenings hanging out with Bryan. He is indeed a brave soul, as he ventured to my parents' house with me this past weekend for a family gathering. Every year my mom's family gets together to bake Christmas cookies, so not only did he meet my parents, but all of my mom's family as well. It was loud, it was busy, and it was fun. My cousin and my sister are such a hoot to hang out with, especially when you get my sister going on her job. She works with special needs students, and she has some wacky stories to tell. I'm so lucky to really enjoy the company of my family, and I'm especially grateful for that around this time of year. Bryan seemed to enjoy himself -- he definitely impressed my family with his mean cooking skillz. He really is adorable.

Well, today I'm off to (hopefully) finish my Christmas shopping, and perhaps, FINALLY finish reading my book. It's so nice to have time just stretch before me without being completely filled with stressful, boring, or time-consuming work crap.

So, with a full day of possibilities before me, I bid you all a fond adieu for this holiday season. Merry Christmas to you all, and please have a Happy New Year. I'll see you in 2006.

Well, the cat's out of the bag.

2005-12-13T16:26:00.000-05:00

I guess since Bryan has made the confession, it's OK to mention it here: he and I are officially dating. We've been kind of unofficially going out since Halloween, but it's been official for a couple of weeks now after I flat out asked him if he was flirting with me. For the first time in a very long time I'm incredibly happy, and it's due in large part to him. He's cute, he's smart, he's funny, and he can cook. What else does one want?

In other news, I had another fairly busy weekend. Friday night I spent hanging out with Bryan. We made our way through the snow to celebrate the fact that one of my friends just successfully defended her dissertation at the Publick House in Brookline, followed shortly by dinner at Anna's Tacqueria and a quick drink with some of Bryan's friends at the Rattlesnake downtown. By that point it was pretty late and I had to leave for Connecticut early the next day so I dropped Bryan at home (after he fixed my parking brake...he's so handy), and went back to my apartment to get some sleep.

Saturday I had to drive to my parents' house because my aunt had gotten me tickets to see Wicked in Hartford for my birthday last year. I was familiar with some of the music (I own the soundtrack), but I wasn't a huge fan, even though there are some decent songs. That changed after I saw the production -- it was FANTASTIC. Easily one of the best musicals I've seen in recent years, including the performance of my favorite musical of all time, Sweeney Todd, that I saw last week. I highly recommend it. The sets were gorgeous, the costumes were amazing, the effects were spectacular, and the music was great. A word of caution: if you're expecting a musical version of the book you will be sorely disappointed. It is VERY different.

Saturday night my sister and I went to a family holiday party in Granby, Connecticut. It was fun, although by the time we got there our cousin (the host) was so drunk he couldn't remember our names. The hit of the night was this roast venison that absolutely made my mouth water and this drunk chick that collapsed in the hallway. That part of my family is, shall we say, rustic.

Sunday I drove back to Boston and picked up Karl and his friend Mike to go to a holiday party at Ben and Brad's house (Karl's friends that I met at White Christmas last Tuesday). There was a delightful array of home made goodies, and I tried wassail for the first time. Later, there was a holiday sing along while Brad played the piano. It was a most excellent time, and I thank Brad for inviting me. What great holiday fun!

Winning is all in the attitude.

2005-12-09T13:57:00.000-05:00

I'm not a competitive person. I just like winning my rummy games against Karl because he gets so flustered...so consequently, I bring the attitude to our little card soirées. It's all in jest, really. Well, mostly anyway.

Last night I got paid back in spades for my cocky attitude of late. I was handed my hat by both Karl and Bryan -- who had never played rummy before.

So, I was a loser. I can accept that. But I won't cry, and I will let Karl gloat. Because I have class. Something Karl is sorely lacking. Well played, my friend. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Brief Update

2005-12-08T13:02:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the lack of posts, but like I said, this is a busy time of year for many reasons. Gotta love the holidays!

Anyhow, on Tuesday I was delightfully invited by Karl to accompany he and some of his friends to the Wang Center to take in a showing of the stage version of Irving Berlin's White Christmas. The show was pretty entertaining -- there was plenty of singing, dancing, sets, and vibrant costumes. And, taken on its own merits, it was a pretty decent show. But the whole time I kept thinking -- "But...where's Rosemary?!" I love the movie so much it was hard to disassociate the stage characters from the actors in the movie.

The real treat of the evening was finally getting to meet Karl's friends Ben and Brad, of whom I have heard a great deal. They did not disappoint, as they are incredibly fun people. Apparently, I made an impression as well because I snagged an invitation to their holiday party! Can't wait to belt out some tunes à la Judy Garland.

Anyhow, tonight Bryan and I are off to Karl's to kick some butt at more rummy. Bryan doesn't know how to play, but with me to teach him, how can he lose?

Rock Star Weekend

2005-12-05T14:14:00.000-05:00

This past weekend I was on the go non-stop, and now I'm freakin' exhausted. But, what a weekend it was! Every once in a while I really love the jet-setting lifestyle...

Friday was the office holiday party, and Bryan graciously agreed to go with me and meet some of my history friends. The food was good, the conversation was (de rigueur) awkward, and the cellists were pretty good, even if I really didn't need to hear an all-cello version of "Light My Fire." Unfortunately, Bryan and I had to jet because we were due to see my roommate perform in a cabaret in Davis Square.

The cabaret was a mixed bag of performers, ranging from the very good to the very, very bad. Community theater is always a crapshoot, but I guess it keeps life exciting. Anyway, after the crapshoot -- oops, I mean cabaret -- Bryan and I went back to his place to watch a DVD of Mr. & Mrs. Smith. It was pretty entertaining, actually, although the real draw of the movie is seeing that much pretty on the screen for over two hours.

Saturday I had to get an early start because I was due to be in New York City that afternoon to see a show with a friend of mine. So I drove myself to my parents' house near Hartford, and had my dad drop me at the Hartford bus station to catch the 1PM bus to NYC. I got there about 4, and my friend picked me up to go back to her place. After some chat, we headed downtown to have dinner at Vynl and then go to the show. The show was Sweeney Todd, one of my favorite musicals of all time -- and to top it off, the plum role of Mrs. Lovett was played by none other than the fabulous Broadway diva Patti LuPone! The show itself was odd, as it was a very "arty" rendition of the production. All of the actors doubled as the orchestra, so consequently the sound was very reduced because there were only about 12 instruments being played at one time. Also, the sets and props were very minimalist, so a box could stand in for any number of things. If one didn't know the story, one would be very confused. I actually had to explain the end to my friend after the show was over!

Anyway, after the show we had drinks at this place called Vintage, and it got to be 1:30 AM when we decided to hit the road. At that point my friend got a call from her roommate asking us to meet her and some other friends in Koreatown to go to this 24-hour karaoke place. So, we went. We got a private room, which was way cool because we got to do whatever songs we wanted without having to sit through a bunch of people we don't know caterwauling "Turn the Page" or some shit like that. I definitely rocked the Wilson Phillips and the En Vogue. By the time we left it was past 4AM -- we caught a cab back to the East Village and promptly hit the hay.

After brunch on Sunday across from Tompkins Square Park, I caught the bus back to Hartford, had dinner with my parents, caught some Law & Order on TV, and then drove back to Boston where I almost immediately went to bed. Needless to say, I'm a bit wiped. But hell, I had a good time.

Take THAT sucker!

2005-12-01T11:48:00.000-05:00

I feel completely vindicated. I beat Karl's ass into the ground at rummy last night...and it feels oh so good. Not even the campy glory that is Rosemary Clooney in White Christmas could distract me from my impending victory. There's really not much more to say than that. I think we all know who's the man here.

Weird North End T Experience: I recently buzzed my hair, so while I was sitting on the T, some old woman came up behind me and started rubbing my head. She told me it was cute. I agree, but lady -- STOP TOUCHING MY HEAD! I mean, really.

OK, sorry so brief, but I have a lot to do today. And really, the only important thing you all should know about last night is that I BEAT KARL. That's right, I said it again.

"It's the most wonderful time of the year..."

2005-11-29T10:21:00.000-05:00

Oh man, I hate this time of year. Well, let me restate: I love the holidays, but I hate this time of year at school. Everyone's all stressed out and tired and just WAITING for the semester to end. And you know what that means? I'm going to have a frigging mountain of grading to do in the near future. Ugh. Like major. So, don't expect a whole lot of updates for the next few weeks...my calendar is packed to the gills.

Anyway, the holiday was very nice. My bourbon-swilling Aunt Olive couldn't make it this year, so our Thanksgiving was decidedly more subdued than in past years, but we made up for it by playing a lot of Fluxx and Mario Party with my cousin. He's turning into a great kid -- he's fun, he's interesting, he's smart, and he's real sweet. He's gonna make some woman very happy some day, I'm sure of it.

Aside from the Thanksgiving feast, I spent a lot of time with my sister just hanging out and chatting. We went to a couple of movies -- I finally got to see Harry Potter and I also saw the new Rent movie. Being a hardcore Rent fan, I was a little scared of the prospect, but Chris Columbus really did a good job of staying as true as possible to the original show. I highly recommend it. Both my sister and I couldn't stop singing the soundtrack for the rest of the weekend.

I also spent some time laughing with some old high school friends, the ones that I don't talk to regularly but whenever we get together it doesn't seem to matter. Friday night the three of us went to TGI Friday's in Manchester (because there's nothing to do in central Connecticut), and sat around the bar laughing about things like butt plugs and nipple clamps (natch). Odd event of the month: Some drunk 20-year-old named Warner approached us and offered us a HUGE bag of weed in the middle of TGIF. I'm surprised he made it out of there sans handcuffs.

Saturday I drove a fellow Connecticite/Bostonian and good friend back home with me, and we rocked out to Bon Jovi the whole way. The trip was a little hairy with all the traffic, and plus I was on a tight schedule because I had to be back in Boston in time to go to Karl's tree-decorating soirée. I ended up being an hour late to the party, which I suppose was a little more than "fashionable," but everyone was very nice and we had a lovely time putting tacky ornaments on Karl's Christmas tree and eating some delightful home-baked goodies. Thanks again, Karl, for the invitation -- it was a great way to kick off the holiday season!

Sunday I took an impromptu trip with Bryan and a couple of his friends to the Cape for dinner and a quick nighttime trip to the beach. When we got back to Boston we spent some time at one of his friend's places discussing the fact that Jesus appeared to be making a cameo in some exposed sheet rock and then it was off to another friend's for some Karaoke Revolution. I rocked the "Material Girl" and Bryan impressed us all by hitting the high notes in "Take On Me" before we called it a night and Bryan drove me home. Thanks for inviting me along, Bryan!

And now, it's back to work. Two more weeks in my class, and then it's final exam time. And in that time I have to get through the American and French Revolutions and plan an exam review and grade their final papers. My life is the hardest.

Oh! I almost forgot about the roommate drama...so, apparently, my roommate found her brother's three-foot bong in the middle of his room and it sent her into a tailspin. She told him when he moved in that she didn't mind if he smoked pot, but he wasn't allowed to do it at our place -- especially since he's practically baked ALL THE TIME. So when she saw the bong she told him he had to move by December 1st. That sent him into a frenzy and the whole thing blew up from there. All of his stuff is packed and gone, but he's still around -- although it's remarkably more comfortable because the two of them have cooled off over the holiday. I'll keep you informed as things develop...

Oh, it's awkward.

2005-11-22T10:06:00.000-05:00

OK, so yesterday I finished teaching, I got a haircut, blah blah...all of that's immaterial.

When I got home, boy was there a surprise waiting for me! Apparently, yesterday afternoon, my roommate and her brother got into a HUGE fight. For those of you who don't remember, my roommate's brother has been living with us since July for various reasons. Mostly he was very cool to have around, but he is 20 years old and does annoying things that 20 year old boys do. So, my roommate and I both were looking forward to the day that he found his own place, but we weren't going to kick him out or anything. Besides, he was good about paying his part of the rent and utilities, and everyone knows that if you want me to go along with anything you just have to ply me with cash. Well, I'm kidding. Sort of.

Anyhow, I guess he did something that really pissed my roommate off because she came home from work early yesterday and ripped into him about something (I'm still a little fuzzy on the details), and then told him he needed to move out by the end of the month. When I got home from my haircut, he had already packed half of his crap into his car and was planning to be gone within a couple of hours. It was INCREDIBLY awkward. On the one hand, I'm glad he's leaving (YES! Spare room back!), but I also think he hates me now or something, even though I had nothing to do with this, and he really is a good guy. Looking at his crap strewn about the living room was like viewing the body or something. I hastily said I had to go to Target for something (a big fat lie) and I went back to my office to read for a while. I just had to get out of there.

So now, I suppose he's gone. I didn't check this morning. It's so weird after living with him for almost 6 months. And plus, my roommate is now an emotional mess. And I will, of course, be as supportive as I can -- but involvement in family issues is not my forte. My family always got along really well, so I have no idea what to say. Whatever...if she needs me, I'll be there.

But man, I can't wait to go to my parents' place tonight. I need to get out of here.

Thanksgiving, Part the First

2005-11-21T10:46:00.000-05:00

Well, that was an interesting weekend.

I left early on Friday to get a jump on the weekend traffic, so after lunch with some friends at the Upper Crust in Coolidge Corner, I hopped in the car and got on the Pike. I spent the whole time listening to Madonna and Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat and singing at the top of my voice. It was marvelous. However, when I got to my parents' house, I was in for a rude awakening: I had forgotten that my parents were having their kitchen remodeled. So the place was a mess (but it WILL be fabulous!), and I still had to make pumpkin pies for pre-Thanksgiving at my aunt's house the next day. Thankfully my cousin let me borrow her kitchen stove and I got the pies made.

Saturday was the celebration. It was held at my aunt's boyfriend's house in West Springfield, Massachusetts, which we thought odd because it's usually at a "family" house. Well, we all have our suspicions, since most of the boyfriend's family was there as well. We think it was a set-up to see how the families got along in case there's an imminent proposal being made. I'm glad for my aunt -- she's never been married and she's in her mid-forties, and she couldn't be happier. And the guy is really very nice. But his family's a mess. One of his sons is a smack addict who just got out of jail. Another one is gay -- which, obviously, I don't have a problem with. But for some reason they all thought the two of us would get along because we have that in common. Well, that's really the only thing. I've never met a more arrogant prick in my life. If they do get married, family functions should be interesting. Anyway, after dinner we played Pictionary and setback while enjoying my pies.

Later, my sister and I tried to go see the new Harry Potter movie, but of course it was sold out. So we opted to see Derailed instead. For a last-minute substitution, it actually wasn't half bad. But, again, there was weirdness: some woman brought her clearly under-age-ten daughter to a 10 o'clock movie that had graphic violence, sex, and a really horrible rape scene. What the fuck is wrong with people?

Yesterday was uneventful, and I spent most of the day lounging around my parents' house. Upsetting revelation of the month: my best friend, with whom I spend at least some time during EVERY holiday season won't be coming to East Hartford for Thanksgiving because she's going to her boyfriend's parents' place in Vermont. So, there goes arguably the best part of my holiday (not to mention her mom's holiday as well). It's great that she has found someone, and he is really a great guy, but holidays are lonely enough as it is.

Man, I can't wait to get out of here for the next week.

Snakes and bugs and crabs! Mmmm, sexy.

2005-11-18T08:46:00.000-05:00

So, I've been having this recurring dream. In my dream, I'm at a friend's house. I don't actually know this person in real life, but in my dream I understand him to be my friend, and for some reason his house looks like my grandmother's house in Connecticut. Anyway, I'm at his house with a bunch of other people I regard as friends -- some of whom I recognize from real life, and some I don't -- and the purpose of our visit to this house is to see our mutual friend's pets. However, these are not your regular cuddly kittens and puppies. As pets, he has things that I am DEATHLY afraid of like snakes, spiders, insects, and crabs. For some reason all of my other friends decided to take these nasty things out of their cages and play with them. Immediately they grow in size until they're huge, and they seem to multiply until the living room is teeming with creepy-crawly things. I'm watching all of this action from a landing above the living room, scared out of my mind as all of my friends are swarmed with insects. They're not being attacked or anything, just covered with icky things. One of my friends (whom I actually do know in real life) is seated in a chair while a gigantic crab crawls over his body. And that's usually when I wake up.

So, yesterday I asked my therapist what this means, and he said he thought it was pretty obvious. He said that, believe it or not, snakes and bugs are usually symbols of sexuality and the fact that I'm watching all of my friends be covered in bugs -- but not covered myself -- means that I'm sexually frustrated.

I said, "Well no shit -- I didn't need creepy bugs to tell me that much!"

Le sigh. Why can't I have sexual frustration dreams of me humping Colin Farrell?

Anyhow, yesterday, after a long day of lecture-writing, Bryan called me up and asked if I had dinner plans. We went to the Summer Shack and had fried fishy things, and it was mighty tasty. Thanks for the invitation Bryan!

And this weekend I'm off to Connecticut. My family usually has two of every holiday so that we can celebrate with ALL of our families. So this weekend we're having Thanksgiving with my mom's family, while actual Thanksgiving will be reserved for my dad's family. So this afternoon I'll be cruising down the highway to the ol' C-T while jamming out to the new Madonna album, Confessions on a Dance Floor. It is fabulous.

And now for the truth...

2005-11-17T09:50:00.000-05:00

OK, you've heard Karl's side of the story. Now here's what really happened.

Space aliens hijacked my brain with gamma-rays and forced me to play rummy badly. I had no choice but to lose.

Well, not quite, but it makes me feel better to think about it that way. Instead, Karl played with aplomb last night and finally beat me into submission (and without any underhanded maneuvers, as per his wont). My Reign of Terror as Master and Commander of All Things Rummy has ended. Le sigh. Now I have to find something else at which to beat him!

Aside from my miserable (and I do mean MISERABLE) defeat, the evening included tasty nibbles expertly prepared by Karl sous-chef, and some cannolis I got at Russo's in Watertown, and one of the BEST MOVIES OF ALL TIME -- Smokey and the Bandit! Of course, half the reason I like the movie so much is because of Jackie Gleason's many delightful turns-of-phrase. However, being broadcast on AMC meant that Jackie Gleason had maybe 5 seconds of original dialogue in the whole film, and all the fun parts were dubbed over! GRRRR. I guess I'll just have to get out my DVD and watch it again. Don't look at me like that. So, anyway, thank you Karl for everything -- the food, the cards, the Elvis, letting me bogart your television, and as always, for the delightful company. I really appreciate it, especially the way the rest of this week has gone.

As always, the T is a delight on the way home from the North End. In the past couple of trips I've had a derailment that forced me to catch a cab, and a witnessing of an arrest on my T car. This last time out, after marching in the rain to North Station, I was waiting for the T when I was "humbly" approached by a man wearing a large orange sandwich board which read "Find Jesus or Burn in HELL." Before he even got within 5 feet of me I said "When I get to Hell, I'll be sure to save you a seat." I'm usually pretty mild-mannered, but when someone makes me very angry I tend to lose control of my inner censor. He had this shocked look on his face and accosted some other hapless soul.

After my encounter with the Jesus-pusher, I had a lovely conversation with a transgendered woman who thanked me for saying what she was thinking. It turns out that she just recently had the surgery and was asking me if, by looking at her tits, I could tell the hormones were working. I told her they were lovely. She smiled, told me I was adorable, and got on the T. Oddly enough, that wasn't one of the strangest conversations I've ever had, but a pleasant one nonetheless.

Nighttime Ramblings

2005-11-16T00:14:00.000-05:00

I guess, technically, it's Wednesday. So it's not REALLY two posts in one day. But I haven't been to sleep yet. Well, let me rephrase. I've tried, but I can't. Sometimes I have terrible insomnia. So, what to do? BLOG! Maybe insanely rambling to the internet will fatigue me.

So, despite my funk earlier, Tuesday was actually fairly pleasant. I got some stuff done, I laughed with some friends, and got to reading on this new Neil Gaiman novel I bought. All in all, not a bad day. Maybe I'm starting to climb out of this funky, dippy, mopey, sappy (aah! stop naming dwarves!) mood. It's about damn time. I really hate being like that. It's just not me at all.

So, here's a few things I've learned about myself in the past week or so:

-I let people take advantage of me because I want to be the good guy. So I don't rock the boat; whatever anyone else wants is fine with me, and that way I don't cause conflicts. The problem is that I never say what I want, and when I don't get it, I get upset.

-I have to start trusting people more. I've always been one of those people that likes doing things by myself, because I feel like I need the control -- and when I don't have it I get nervous. Usually, I do it just because it's efficient, but deep down, I think I have problems trusting people to do things. That's partly why I don't talk about my problems a lot, too. If I handle them myself, then no one is inconvenienced, and I don't have to worry about getting things blown up in my face. Except, no man is an island. So, I need to be more open. Trust and honesty are the top virtues on my list.

-I have to learn to say "no." I can't please everyone all the time, so I shouldn't try. It's exhausting. And it's not that I don't like doing things for other people and with other people, but I'm only one person -- I can't do it all. So I shouldn't. If I don't overextend myself, I won't get as uptight as I get. If I turn people down, they may be disappointed, but they'll know it's nothing personal. So I need to get over that disappointment and consider myself for a change.

Not bad for a few days' reflection and one sleepless night, eh? OK, maybe I should try and get to sleep. Wish me luck.

Mirabile dictu.

2005-11-15T11:17:00.000-05:00

Well folks, the past 5 days or so have just been a whirlwind of activity. Friends, dinners, concerts, hang-time...just one after the other. And I thank everyone with whom I spent time this weekend -- you guys make life worth living. The details are unimportant, but it was great. So just know that none of the following applies to you. You are the delights of my life.

That said, I've been going through some changes in the past couple of weeks. I've grown more introspective, I've spent a lot of time living inside my head and trying to tease out how I feel about many aspects of my life. Some of this introspection has made me very sullen and moody. People who have known me for a long time know that I never get that way -- at least outwardly. I'm from a proper New England family that believes that internal problems and feelings should best be dealt with by yourself. And I hate burdening people with my various insanities. The downshot of this is that it tends to make me a miserable person to be around when I'm like this, unlike the seemingly carefree person I usually am around people. Sometimes the best actors aren't on the stage, I guess. So, I'm sorry to anyone if I wasn't particularly enjoyable to be around in the last few days. I promise to be more chipper next time.

I've started writing again. Not blog-writing or journaling, but creatively writing. It's something I used to really enjoy when I was in college, and any time I didn't spend writing academically was spent working on a story or a poem. Most of these were not good, but I did manage to publish a couple under a pen-name. Lately I've decided to let my feelings out in fiction -- I have a novel that I started years ago that I just started working on again last week. It's easier to deal with feelings if you give them to someone else, even if that person is fictional. Who knows if this novel will ever see the light of day? Most likely not. But an emotional outlet is an emotional outlet.

Another downside to all this moody-ness is that it's terribly lonely, even if you're with someone. I've spent practically every minute of the last few days hanging with someone, all of whom I really like and (I hope) really like me. But loneliness doesn't only work in solitude. Friends listen and they sympathize, but they don't always understand. After all, cities are some of the loneliest places on earth, and they're teeming with people.

Some might call it depression, but I don't think that's accurate. It's not sadness, and I'm not despairing over anything. I'd just call it soul-limbo. Not moving up or down, but just sort of wandering and wondering.

Blah.

2005-11-14T09:46:00.000-05:00

Yeah, you know, I'd love to post something, but I'm really just not in the mood.

I slaved all day over a hot stove...

2005-11-10T09:49:00.000-05:00

Well, yesterday seems to be just what I needed. I canceled my class yesterday and stayed home. But, instead of wallowing in self-pity, I decided to do something constructive -- I cooked!

I made spaghetti sauce, which I then used in an eggplant parmigiana, I roasted garlic to spread on the bread, I made tomato-mozzarella caprese appetizers, and some pasta and sausage. I called up Bryan to see if he had any dinner plans, then I invited him over for dinner with my roommate and I. There was a lot of food. Half of it is still in my refrigerator. Next time I take a day off, maybe I'll just read or something...

Anyway, after dinner we watched Road Trip. This movie, for all its ridiculousness, makes me laugh every time I watch it. Especially that scene where Seann William Scott makes a sperm deposit by getting an anally-induced orgasm from the nurse. Cracks me up every time. Yes, I like gross humor. Sometimes, I'm not so classy.

After Bryan left, the wine hit me kind of hard, so I finished cleaning up the kitchen and went to lie down in my bed and read. I was in bed for maybe three minutes before my book landed in my face and I fell asleep. But all the better -- I feel much more relaxed than I have the past few days. I love days off for no reason.

I wonder if Elvira likes lotus seed balls?

2005-11-07T10:26:00.000-05:00

How in the hell did I ever get so popular? Really, I'm confused. I'm kind of an asshole.

Friday, Bryan invited me to go out with his friends and get some good Chinese food in Chinatown. And the food, as promised, was VERY good. Bryan's friends are interesting in that they're all really into cars, so they have these HOT vehicles with fancy things like seat warmers and, um, other things that I don't recognize or remember. And I drive a 1996 Oldsmobile. So much of the conversation was lost on me. No matter, I just stuffed more spicy salty squid into my mouth. Anyway, afterward we went to one of his friend's apartments and watched the remake of The Amityville Horror. The movie was so-so, but seeing Ryan Reynolds half-naked and dripping wet on a suped-up home theater system was superb.

Saturday I had to pick up a friend of mine at a craft fair. She had a booth because she makes purses and aprons and stuff that are über-cute. Anyway, she needed a lift to bring her stuff back to her apartment, and then she bought me dinner. She's awesome. Later that night I had to head to the wilds of Jamaica Plain to a housewarming party. A good friend of mine just moved back to the area after about a year and a half of exile in parts of the country like College Station, Texas. She's great fun. By the time I had arrived, she was already supremely drunk. I got there at 10PM - apparently she started drinking at 2. I like my women wild. It was nice to catch up with her, have some cake, and talk about porn. I also admitted that, if I had to, I'd fuck Elvira. Long story.

Sunday was the Queer Boston Bloggers dim-sum in Chinatown. Bryan was gracious enough to drive me (thanks Bryan!), and so the two of us waited for everyone else to get there. It was nice to see the familiar faces again (hi Will and Keith!), and to meet some new ones (hi Sean!). Meeting Sean was a lot of fun, as he's incredibly outgoing, but the real prize was watching Keith's expression whenever new tasty morsels were brought to the table. Apparently Keith doesn't do exotic foods very well because the look on his face was priceless - a mix of disgust and wonder. He was, however, incredibly adroit at poking things with his chop sticks. Well done! And for those of you who didn't make it, you missed a good time, but I'm sure we'll catch you next time around!

OK kids. Back to work!

"But you were the Chosen One!"

2005-11-03T09:15:00.000-05:00

OK, how excited am I that the latest Star Wars movie is out on DVD? I am a total Star Wars fanboy (read: nerd), and naturally as such, I went out after work and bought it the very day it came out. However I have not, as yet, watched it. Last night, instead of being a COMPLETE freak of nature, I decided to culture myself by finishing up reading Of Mice and Men. But tonight, watch out. The Force will be with me.

Today is going to be a busy day. I have to finish my lecture for tomorrow, order my books for next semester (eek! next semester already?!), play racquetball with a colleague, go to therapy, and meet a friend for lunch. This is going to be a LONG day. Of course, I'm most excited to see my friend. He has just returned from a whole year in France, and I can't wait to hear the stories about all the cute little French men he met. And to interrogate him as to why he hasn't found one for me. C'est la vie!

OK, I'm a busy boy, so I gotta run. I hope all is well!

I guess I'm "it."

2005-11-01T10:08:00.000-05:00

OK, so Karl tagged me to do this blog archive research thingy. Here are the rules:

1. Delve into your blog archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five people to do the same.

And here is my sentence:

"In any case, being so in touch with my feelings has prompted me to undertake a CD mix project of sad songs."

I was going through this "I like sad music" phase, because everything was making me weepy for no particular reason. I do enjoy sad music, though, so I decided to put together a CD of the saddest songs I could get my hands on. Unfortunately, I didn't end up doing the CD. But now that I'm reminded of my once-lofty ambitions, perhaps I will spend my night doing something constructive...

OK, so whom should I nominate? Well, let's see...I don't think I can come up with five people, but here's four: Bryan, Jeff, Keith, and Sean. Go to it, guys!

So last night I spent Halloween at Karl's playing rummy, which naturally, I won. Honestly, I'm really not that good a player...and I was even playing like shit last night...but at some point, Karl just lost control of the score. And I admit, I chuckled when certain expletives came out of his mouth after I would play a particularly juicy set of cards. It's nice to know I'm good at something, even if it is beating your friends into submission. I should let him win next time though. After four wins out of five games, I think he may start to hate me...

So anyway, the rest of the time was spent eating Tootsie Rolls (which I think look like little chocolate turds, even if they are tasty), chatting, and watching one of my favorite movies of all time: Moulin Rouge. I know Karl hates that movie, but he was very accommodating in letting me watch it -- although, perhaps, it was more to his amusement seeing as I know every single word and every inch of the choreography. It was like he had a mini version of the film next to him on the couch. So, thanks a bunch for the hospitality, Karl. Next time we can watch something you like, I swear.

I always have interesting public transportation adventures whenever I go to the North End a-visiting. Or perhaps it's just that I'm so unused to public transportation these days, seeing as I only take it when I go to visit Karl. Anyway, on my way home last night, the C line was stopped at the Arlington station for like 15 minutes. The loudspeaker kept telling us to be patient, and since I had my book and my iPod with me, I was quite content to just sit there and wait for the thing to start moving again. All of a sudden, two transit cops get on my car and haul this shady character off, kicking and screaming things that would make Andrew Dice Clay blush. The conductor politely came on the loudspeaker again and thanked us for our patience, and the T started rolling. I guess they wanted to give us a thrill, seeing as it was Halloween and all...

"When we like to party we will always party hard..."

2005-10-31T09:30:00.000-05:00

Well, I was a regular party animal this weekend.

Friday night I went to the pumpkin carving party at my friend's house. I didn't know a whole lot of the people there, but it didn't seem to matter - everyone was very friendly and seemed to get along just fine. But really, the evening's draw was the carving. Getting down to brass tacks about the business was fairly comical. Everyone spread themselves around on parts of the floor covered with several spread-out newspapers and contemplated their pumpkin-carving strategies. My favorite part is sticking my hand in the pumpkin goop after you take the top off, so my jack-o-lantern design was fairly simple. I had already had my fun. But some people really got into it and spend a LONG time carving designs into their gourds. I was quite impressed with the mad skillz. For me, the funniest thing was watching Karl. I did not know before he sat down in front of his pumpkin that he had never actually carved one before. Watching him discover the joys of this time-honored Halloween tradition was really cute. The expression on his face when we told him he had to scoop all the crap out of the pumpkin was priceless - a mix of wonder and absolute disgust. He did an excellent job, though, as you can see from the pictures on his blog. For a first-timer, he wielded his knife with aplomb. Well done, dude.

Saturday night I went to a Halloween party with a bunch of my grad school friends. The costumes were amazing, and some were incredibly creative. I was very impressed, because you never know with costume parties. Sometimes people are just lazy and don't put anything into it. But this crowd was really into their costumes. And everyone loved my fabulous pimp hat. There was a costume contest, and I got a few votes, but the evening's winner was this guy dressed as Jesus. To be honest, he really, REALLY looked like Christ - he had a great robe and used his own hair and beard. But I think what clinched it for him was his prop. He brought a box of wine disguised with a tear-away Poland Spring label -- for turning water into wine! Well done, Jesus.

On Sunday, I was hanging out with my friend Bryan. After going on a search for some pumpkins for more carving, we headed back to his place. Bryan made dinner, which was excellent. I'm amazed by anyone who can just cook things with random ingredients and without a recipe. But he moved deftly around the kitchen and produced a meal that was quite tasty. And then, there was the pumpkin carving, as you can see on his blog. Personally, I think his (the one on the left) is hysterical. I laughed about that for hours. Anyway, after dinner and some chat I had to head home so I could read the book I'm teaching today, while he went to watch iron being poured (don't ask). Thanks for a wonderful time, Bryan!

And now that the partying is done, I need to catch up on some sleep - so naturally, it's back to work! I hope you all had tasty weekends! Did you enjoy the random snow storm?

"I was working in the lab late one night..."

2005-10-28T13:19:00.000-04:00

Well, this is shaping up to be a cool Halloween weekend!

Tonight, I'm heading over to an old friend's house to carve pumpkins and have dinner. I'm bringing along Karl, which should be interesting because he's never met any of my friends before. I have a penchant for being friends with weird people. They certainly keep things entertaining, but introducing them to people gets to be a bit anxiety-producing because I never knnow what they're going to do or say. One thing's for sure, it's never boring. I can't wait to hack into some gourds!

Tomorrow night, after what I'm sure will be a long day of grading midterms, I have a Halloween party to go to. I'm super excited to wear my pimp outfit, and I hear that the host has gotten a fog machine. Plus, they asked me to bring along my iPod, so I know that I'll like the music. I can't wait to see everyone's costumes!

Sunday I'm meeting up with a new friend to carve more pumpkins, which should be a lot of fun, and somewhere in there I have to read the book I'm teachintg on Monday. All in all, it's going to be a busy weekend. I never knew I was such a party animal.

I hope you all enjoy the weekend and get into the Halloween spirit!

So...tired.

2005-10-27T14:09:00.000-04:00

Man, am I out of shape.

I just played racquetball with a friend of mine, and I am utterly pooped. I love racquetball, but it's been a long time since I played last. I sort of forgot how high energy it is, even if it is rather uncomplicated to play. So something tells me that I'm going to be paying for such exertions for the next day or so. Well, at least I know it's just because I'm usually lazy and not because I have some debilitating muscle disease.

OK, along with destroying my muscles, I think physical exertion has destroyed my brain as well. I can't think of a single thing to write about today. It's pretty much been ho-hum this week. Nothing exciting to report. Oh, my date got postponed until next week, so I can't update on that. Gee, I'm pretty lame today - now physically as well as otherwise. I hope you all are having more interesting lives than I am right now!

"Big pimpin', spendin' cheese..."

2005-10-25T11:20:00.000-04:00

I can't really remember the last time I actually enjoyed Halloween. Even as a kid, I never really liked it. I always felt like it was too much bother for so little reward. Plus, I hate getting my face painted and all that stuff - it's just too icky. As I got older, I kind of fell out of the Halloween spirit and let it be the kids' holiday that it is. But lately, I've kind of been feeling it more. Not really the trick-or-treating business. That's lame. But the holiday itself does have significant background, and is really not for kids. So, in that spirit (and since I've been invited to a fabulous costume party this Saturday), last night I went in search of a costume.

I never knew what a HUGE industry Halloween is. Christmas may be the most commercialized, but for those people who deal in party favors and such, this is THE season. I went into a party store last night to, at the very least, get some costume ideas. The place was PACKED with people and the aisles were stuffed to the brim with various and sundry grotesqueries. Needless to say, my roommate and I had lotsa larfs trying on mountains of hats, wigs, capes, and masks.

Anyway, I walked out with a few things that will all be key components of my costume. I'm going to be a pimp. The reason? I found this FABULOUS hat at the party store. And I want to wear it. So, there it is. I have some pimpish accessories at home that will complement the hat nicely, and I believe I have a black velvet shirt somewhere from my wilder days as a pseudo-club kid. Now, all I need are some leather pants...

What are you all going to be?

"Cuz you've got to have friends!"

2005-10-24T14:32:00.000-04:00

What a delightful weekend!

A few months ago, a couple of college friends of mine decided to organize a mini-reunion of sorts. As undergrads, we were all on the staff of our college's undergraduate art and literature magazine, and since graduation we've been missing it. It was great fun to read student submissions - some very, very good, some very, very bad - decide what to publish, do layout, proofreading, write editorials, and all that other fun publishing stuff. We spent A LOT of time together, seeing as putting a magazine together is cumbersome work, and we all bonded. But, as things happen, after college we kind of lost touch with most of the people on the magazine staff. So, through our various friendship networks, we managed to gather everyone together in New York City this past weekend to get reacquainted and talk about old times. It was honestly one of the best things we've ever done.

I drove down with another friend in the Boston area and we stayed at our friend N's apartment in the East Village. On Saturday, everyone came in from various places - one person even flew in from his medical school in Chicago! - and met at the White Horse Tavern in Greenwich Village. Appropriate to our literary past, we went on a literary pub crawl that took us all through the Village. We stopped at four pubs, each of which had a great history and was a place of respite for many, many famous writers. John Steinbeck, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Edgar Allan Poe, Lillian Hellman, Willa Cather - we even saw the place where Dylan Thomas drank himself to death. Plus, during the tour, we got to spend time catching up with old friends, and just generally having a great time.

Once we got back to N's apartment, we ordered pizza and sat around chatting about old times. So many great memories were shared, and then I remembered why I had liked them all so much. They are just marvelous people. And it was so nice to see everyone doing so well and having very successful lives. I would never be this sappy otherwise, but I really do swell with joy for them. Good friends should never, ever be forgotten.

So, cheers to all my old friends (and the new ones as well). Thank you for making the grey and cloudy days shine as brilliantly as the sun.

AUGH!

2005-10-21T09:54:00.000-04:00

So...much...to...do.

I have to finish grading and writing my lecture before noon, then I have to rush home to pack so I can be on time for my friend to pick me up on our way to New York City for the weekend.

So why am I blogging? Check y'all later. Have a nice weekend!

Welcome, Great Pumpkin!

2005-10-17T09:41:00.000-04:00

Well, I have to say that the events of this weekend were quite unexpected. Not that anything THAT out of the ordinary occurred, but I always find that I end up doing really cool things when, in fact, I had nothing at all planned.

Friday night was kind of a bust, because I got home from work and did laundry all night. It really neded doing, so I was glad to finally have done it, but other than that it wasn't very interesting. Except for this little Latino boy who was playing with his matchbox cars while his mom toiled over the soiled laundry. He was very friendly, and even enticed me into a little racing game with his cars.

Saturday I spent puttering around the apartment. I finally finished my Mötley Crüe book, and promptly headed to Barnes & Noble for a replacement. I picked up Neil Gaiman's book, Neverwhere, and so far it's incredibly interesting. Go me for making a good choice.

Later in the evening, I had to go to an engagement party for a friend of mine and his fiancée. I didn't know a great many people there, but I went anyway, despite the fact that I'm desperately awkward in front of strangers. To my delight, I wasn't awkward at all. The conversation flowed naturally, I was charming and people were charming back, and it was really just delightful. Plus, I walked away with a date with this very attractive man from Jamaica Plain. Go me! A year ago that would never have happened...or even 6 months ago. Now, I'm the belle of the ball. Imagine that.

Sunday, since it was the first time we had seen the sun in over a week, my roommate and I took an impromptu trip to a farm out in Concord to pick pumpkins. Despite the wind, it was a lovely time. We enjoyed a hay ride, hot apple cider, pumpkin picking - and the best part was that the farm had a deal. If you bought one pumpkin, you got a second one free! So now I have two good-sized pumpkins just waiting to be hacked into. Definitely my favorite part of the Halloween season.

Sadly, the fun must end sometime. I'm looking at a full day of grading papers, which is always the delight of my life. I'm absolutely wild about it. And if there are any teachers out there reading this, you know that I'm being sarcastic. Solidarity, my people.

"But because I am mad...I HATE YOU!"

2005-10-14T09:52:00.000-04:00

So, last night I was incredibly bored. And what happens when I get bored? I go shopping for entertainment! So I convinced my roommate to head out in the rain with me and make the arduous trek to Newbury Comics on the Fresh Pond Parkway.

We spent a good hour browsing around, and I bought a couple of things I'd been wanting desperately for ages. One was a DVD copy of Das Kabinett des Doktor Caligari, the best example of German Expressionism ever. Creepy movie, with some great sets and costumes. Good fun. I also picked up a copy of Fiona Apple's new CD, Extraordinary Machine. I'm listening to it as I type this very moment, and so far I'm loving it. So much better than her last effort. She's gone back to being a bit more edgy. I'm sorry for her that she feels so bitter again, but I'm a firm believer in the idea that bitter chicks make the best music. I feel it speaks to me more. Now why could that be?

Also, I purchased a DVD copy of an old movie I had never seen before, but had heard good things about. The movie is Gaslight, from 1944 (and whence the posting title has come). It stars Ingrid Bergman, Charles Boyer, and Angela Lansbury (whom I adore with a love that is beyond love). The movie was kind of so-so actually, but enjoyable nonetheless. It's a "thriller" about this woman who moves into her murdered aunt's house with her new husband. Soon, she begins doubting her mind as she misplaces things, hears noises, and is reminded of the brutal slaying of her aunt on a daily basis. Needless to say, there's a "twist" at the end, but anyone who's at least half awake during the film will have called it. And Charles Boyer's accent set my teeth on edge. Other than that, it wasn't a bad way to while away the hours of cold, rainy Thursday evening.

This weekend isn't shaping up to be as busy as the last, which is good because I REALLY have to do laundry. I will be attending an engagement party for a friend of mine and his new fiancée on Saturday evening, but other than that I'm open to anything that comes my way. Every once in a while it's nice just to see where life takes you...

Hubris anyone?

2005-10-13T15:26:00.000-04:00

Yet another busy week for me! My students have a midterm this week AND I have to finish a proposal for a paper I want to give in April at the Society for French Historical Studies conference. My, I am the busy little bee.

Anyhow, the last couple of days have been a blur of various activities. I rabidly cleaned my apartment because I was sick of living in filth, and now it sparkles so much I'm blinded by its magnificence when I walk in the door. It makes me want to be at home more, which is always nice.

On top of the manic cleaning, I've been putting in long hours at school trying to get all of this stuff ready. I've just completed putting together my first-ever exam, and I'm quite proud of it. I certainly think that I've achieved the right mix of difficulty and capability - meaning, it's challening enough, but not so challenging that it's impossible. Of course, inevitably, they will bitch and moan about how difficult the test is, but that's to be expected. They're 18 years old and don't have much enthusiasm for things other than beer, sex, and vapid entertainment. And, really, who doesn't like those things? (Well, replace the beer with wine for me.) But c'mon people...you can't rot your brains EVERY day of your college career.

Tuesday night I spent with an old friend from college and her boyfriend in their new apartment in Teele Square. Their place is adorable, and the two of them are very cute together. I kind of hate them a little for being so rapturously in love with each other, but at the same time I am quite happy for them. I hope they make it, as so many relationships seem to just disintegrate these days for no discernible reason. Anyhow, we whiled away the evening with trashy food, Law & Order, and a few hands of rummy and Egyptian Rat Screw. My rummy skills have grown beyond even MY belief, as I walloped both of them, 530 to 145 and 220, respectively. I see the brilliance of my score leaves you speechless...take it in.

OK kids, I need to skedaddle early today as I have quite a few errands to run, and beyond my wildest expectations, I completed all of the things I had planned on my work "To Do" list today. Let me just say that, for the record, I am awesome. It's a pity more people don't want to be my friend.

"Suck on my big ten inch!"

2005-10-11T10:25:00.000-04:00

OK, so it's not actually 10 inches. I was really just at a loss for something witty to title this entry. So I used the first thing that came to my mind...and before you think I'm a total perv, it's a line from an Aerosmith song that I've been singing in my head all morning. I don't walk around with blow jobs on the brain. Well, most days anyway.

Ugh. This weather is the suck. I really feel bad for all of those leaf-peepers who come to New England on Columbus Day Weekend - they really got shafted. Oh well, more for us.

This weekend, despite the superfluous amount of precipitation, was quite delightful. On Friday I drove to New Jersey to visit my best friend. I had some major traffic issues (did you ever notice that when it rains people forget how to drive?), especially in Waterbury, Connecticut. If you've driven on I-84 into New York, you know that there are about five billion exits in Waterbury, and also that they've been doing construction on that stretch of the highway for about a millenium. Well, combine the messy highway with rush hour traffic and a torrential downpour, and you get stuck in the middle of one of the biggest shitholes in Connecticut for hours. Thank the stars that I had some kickin' tunes to listen to in the car.

I got to New Jersey pretty late, but my friend and I stayed up chatting and playing Parcheesi, and just generally laughing it up. I'm so glad I decided to take this trip at the last minute, because I really needed it. There is nothing in the world quite like sharing a good time with a really old friend - the kind that knows you so well that it's scary. It's sad that it's so rare, but it makes me savor our relationship all the more.

Saturday we tried to go shopping, but the rain put quite a damper on that little idea, so we basically just ate really bad Chinese food and watched TV all day. Then, later in the evening we went to this guy's house to play some games. He's a friend of my friend's from church, and so all the people at this little party were from my friend's church. Now, I've mentioned before that my best friend is a Christian fundamentalist. And so are a lot of her friends. So picture me - a young, gay, liberal academic from Boston - in a room with straight, white, über-Christians. It was most entertaining. They are really nice people, and we had a lot of fun playing games (especially this one game, Mafia - I will SO be playing that again). The most interesting part, though, was the half-hour or so that I liked to call "Q&A with Gay J." They couldn't stop asking me questions about being gay, and while I'm hardly an authority on all things queer, I relished the opportunity to perhaps do some enlightening. It was most triumphant.

Sunday, my friend had to go to church all day so I drove home to my parents' house in Connecticut and spent the night. The next day I went with my sister to the Granville Harvest Fair. She's a teacher in the area, and an advisor to the Student Council, and her kids had a fundraising booth at the fair so I said I'd help out. Let me tell you, her kids are hilarious. I got updated on all the hot 7th grade gossip, and I found out what all the cool new tunes and fashions are. I am now hip to the teenage beat. Plus, I was thoroughly entertained by this 5th grader whom, I predict, will be a huge success in marketing. The kid made his own sandwich board, strapped it to himself, and walked around the fair accosting people to buy raffle tickets. The best part was that his mom looked at him, sighed, and said "Sometimes I wonder if he's not COMPLETELY crazy." I love small town America. It's like having a large-scale petting zoo.

So now I'm back to work, and not particularly thrilled about it. My students have a midterm this week, so that means I'm going to be extra busy putting things together, doing reviews, and fielding panicked e-mails from overwrought freshmen. How marvelous.

Happy Everyone's Favorite Genocidal Explorer Day!

2005-10-07T13:52:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the lack of updates this week...it's been pretty crazy since my students had a paper due today and a midterm next week. Hopefully things will calm down again next week. As for now, I'm off to New Jersey for the long weekend. Happy Columbus Day!

I usually make fun of people for being as lame as I am right now.

2005-10-04T09:58:00.000-04:00

Well, last night was pretty boring. No one was around at home so I spent a couple of hours wandering around Barnes & Noble. I didn't buy anything, but I love books and the way they smell, so I enjoyed myself nonetheless. Then I went home and my roommate had gotten home from the gym, so we decided to play this new card game I picked up called Fluxx. It was a lot of fun, I will definitely be spreading the knowledge to all of my card-playing friends. Then I went to bed and read The Dirt for a couple of hours before I fell blissfully asleep. Oh man...everyone who recommended that I read this book deserves presents. It is fantastic. And I kinda wanna make out with Tommy Lee, even though he's grungy.

Let's see, what else? Oh, that guy that I mentioned a couple posts back. The one I dated in January and decided he wasn't interested, and then asked me on a date a week or so ago. Yeah, I decided he's a permanent dink, and I really don't want to be friends with him either. I'm a pretty forgiving person. Some might say doormat. But of late I've had rather more self-confidence, and seriously, this guy couldn't be bothered to even be friends with me after we decided it just wasn't working. And I have no use for that. It says something about someone's maturity that one is willing to just throw someone out of one's life like that for no good reason. And I don't need friends like that. I've been down that road before, and it's not very scenic. So, He Who Must Not Be Named, I wish you all the best, but please don't call anymore. You have some growing up to do.

Um, so yeah, I'm kind of lame today. I don't have anything important to say (unlike my usual pearls of wisdom), and I'm not feeling particularly witty this morning. So, um, maybe I'll do some online shopping instead of finishing this blog post. I can hear a new pair of shoes whispering softly to me through cyberspace...

Cards, movies, and one dirty Savage.

2005-10-03T10:35:00.000-04:00

What a busy weekend I had! And it's strange, but even though I was pretty much constantly on the go for the past three days, I feel so much more relaxed than usual. And no, it's not the drugs. They help, but they're not magic.

Friday evening I went over to Karl's to finally get him to see Mean Girls, and to wish him a bon voyage as he traipses off to Paris this week. I think he enjoyed it, but I also think he was more laughing at me because I was laughing even before the movie started. And plus, I know all the choreography from the "Jingle Bell Rock" scene. So, whether it was the movie or my ridiculous obsession with it, I'm glad he enjoyed. The movie was followed by some rummy, which I naturally won. And not by some dirty underhanded maneuver - unlike SOME people I could name. However, the best thing was watching these old VHS tapes of music videos and old San Francisco public access TV. I have never seen anything like it in my life. It was so totally weird and incomprehensible, but at the same time completely engrossing. I couldn't tear myself away from watching this ridiculous Asian drag queen named Rice Patty saunter along the streets of San Francisco and pretend to not know English. I have a feeling it's one of those cultural productions that, a thousand years from now, anthropologists will be shaking their heads over while trying to decided if we were a brilliant lost civilization, or just completely crazy. Anyhow, thank you for the hospitality, Karl. Buy me a present in Paris.

Friday night was, in fact, only marred by the transportation nightmares I had. Getting to the North End from my apartment in Watertown is not easy. Usually, I drive to Brookline and take the C line all the way in. However, Brookline is a good 20 minute drive from my apartment, so I decided to be adventurous and exclusively use public transportation. To get to the North End this involves a bus to Harvard Square, the Red Line to Park Street, and then the Green Line. A lengthy trip, sure, but not insurmountable. On my way home, however, the Red Line decided it was going to derail just as I got there around 11:30 PM. I was tired, it was hot in the subway, and all I wanted to do was get home - especially because I didn't want to miss the bus to Watertown Square! If I missed that, I would be screwed. So I didn't end up getting on the Red Line until about midnight, and by the time we got to Harvard Square, I had missed the last bus. Thankfully, I had my cell phone and called a cab to take me home, but still - I could have done without spending the cash on a ride home.

Saturday was spent shopping with my roommate, and then in the evening we went to see Dan Savage speak at the Brattle Theatre. He was hilarious. And so cute. He read a couple of excerpts from his new book, The Commitment, and then did a Q&A with the audience. If he weren't already a fantastic writer, I would tell him to do stand-up, because he is one of the wittiest people I've ever seen. Not a bad thing to have in a sex columnist, I'm sure, but with a personality like that he should really be in show business. I think I'm smitten. I'm also a sucker for a pretty face - I bought a copy of his book. I'm sure I'll read it eventually.

Sunday was spent doing some stuff for my course, then doing some reading, then spending some time with an old friend whom I have not seen in AGES. It was very good to see him, but it pains me as well. We used to be so close, and then he started going out with this guy I cannot stand and that just put a damper on our relationship. It seems a bit selfish of me to not want to hang out with my friend because his boyfriend will be there, but I really cannot take him - and I can take a lot of things, so that tells you how obnoxious this guy is. So, as good as it was to see him, I think it's time I realized we will never be as close as we used to be. And maybe that's not a bad thing...it makes room for new people. Finally, my roommate and I went to the Kendall Cinema to see Mirrormask. What a GORGEOUS movie. I've talked before about how I'm really inot the way things look. This movie was a feast for the eyes. And the story wasn't half bad either. I will definitely check out more of Neil Gaiman's work.

All in all, not a bad weekend. Sadly, now I have to do work again...ugh. I have the hardest life.

Why, doctor! What a large tube you have!

2005-09-30T10:40:00.000-04:00

So, yesterday's Adventure in Gastroenterology (apologies to Karl) went as well as could be expected. The worst part was the anticipation. Having never had an endoscopy before I didn't really know what was involved until the nurse explained it to me. The color must have drained from my face because she quickly moved into "consoling" mode after she told me that I would probably retch on the tube. Which I did. Thankfully, the drugs they gave me made me not care so much. Honestly, the worst part of the whole thing was the insertion of the IV tube. I have a terrible reaction to anything having to do with blood (not, like, movie blood, but real blood) that makes me go all queasy whenever anyone even TALKS about it. So watching the little tube being inserted into the back of my hand while it filled with a viscous crimson syrup made my head go fuzzy. I quickly re-focused my attention on the People magazine I was clutching like a life raft.

The procedure itself only lasted about 10 minutes, and I spent an hour in recovery waking up from the sedatives. I have never felt more relaxed in my life. Why can't they put THAT stuff in a doggie bag? Anyway, my mom had come up from Connecticut to drive me home after the procedure, so she took me home and made me macaroni and cheese while I groggily stumbled about, apparently looking for this Marilyn Manson t-shirt I used to wear in high school. Of course I only remember this through a very cloudy amnesiac haze, but mom assures me it's the truth. I spent the remainder of the day sleeping off and on and watching DVDs of Queer as Folk.

So now I'm back at school, looking over my lecture notes. Yeeha. Did you know that, until about 1490, Spain was ruled entirely by Arabian and African Muslims? And now it's one of the most Catholic countries in Europe. Pretty neat, huh? OK kids, there's your random fact for the day. Have nice weekends!

I knew my nipples were sensitive for a reason.

2005-09-28T11:09:00.000-04:00

Oh, my dears, I'm dragging today. I stayed at my office until 9:30 last night trying to finish this damn lecture. I don't think I even have the energy to give it today, I'm so tired. Ugh. And the worst part is that I have to write my Friday lecture this afternoon. I'm going in for an endoscopy tomorrow, which means I'll be pretty much out of commission all day and really not in the mood to think about the freaking Wars of Religion. I can't wait until we get to the topics I'm actually interested in. And speaking of my endoscopy, I really have to get my ass in gear today - my mom is coming up tomorrow to drive me to and from my appointment and my apartment is a disaster. Can you imagine? I don't want my mother to see how I REALLY live - EEK!

Despite my fatigue, I have to say that the lecture I wrote yesterday is fucking amazing. I mean, I'm positively LACTATING over the thing. I just wish I could stand up long enough to express my joy to my students this afternoon. I am a miracle worker - I made Calvinism interesting. It's a wonder more people don't like me.

The rest of the evening passed in quiet repose and blissful somnolence. I took in a showing of The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement and ate cereal while quietly nodding off to sleep. And the movie? What tripe. I mean, honestly. Like she would ever go for that milquetoast Jacoby. If the plot is trying to involve some sort of underhanded misdirection, then please make it at least within the realm of possibility. And Julie Andrews is still fabulous after all these years.

OK, time to do some review before class. Have a lovely day, goslings.

I do enjoy a nice chianti.

2005-09-27T11:20:00.000-04:00

So last night, instead of doing something productive like I should have, I decided to goof off. I invited my friend Adam over to play some Playstation 2 games and eat bad food. I do have to say that, for a first go-round at a new game, Adam and I kicked some serious Champions of Norrath ass. Of course now I'm left with having to write an entire lecture on John Calvin, Calvinism, the Catholic Reformation, and the European witch-hunt by tomorrow. Ugh. You'd think that one of these days I'd learn that procrastination doesn't pay off as well as it should. Oh well. Instead of a lecture, I have a kick-ass wizard named Eügene. How very Nikki Sixx.

After Adam left, I spent the remainder of the evening re-watching an old classic, The Silence of the Lambs. Damn that movie is still creepy even 14 years later. I still remember seeing it when I was 12 years old and not being able to go into my basement for months after. You never know if there may be an eerily-vacant, serial-murdering, faux transsexual lurking about. And I still don't know what a fava bean is.

All right, so I have a dilemma, and I need some opinions. A guy asked me out on a date the other day, which sounds pretty f-in cool, I know, but there's more to it. This guy and I "dated" in January. I use the scare quotes because, well, we saw each other a couple times a week for a month and not once did either of us lay a hand on the other. Now, this doesn't surprise me from my end - I'm notoriously shy when it comes to physical contact. It comes from my family background, because hugs in my family are as rare as diamonds. But this guy is extremely outgoing. So, after a month of hanging out, I asked him what was up. He proceeded to regale me with a list of my finer qualities and how I was the perfect guy in every respect, but that he just wasn't interested in me that way. And that was fine with me, because by that point neither was I. But still, I liked him as a person and wanted to be friends. However, week after week would go by and any and all plans I tried to make with him got the brush off. So I said to myself, "Whatever, he's a dink." And thus endeth the romance of He Who Must Not Be Named and Jason. Now, he's asked me out on another date - and very specifically said "date" - and I'm again thinking, "What the f?" He wasn't interested then, and I'm not interested now, so what do you think? Should I keep him permanently relegated to "dink" status, or should I give it another whirl?

The bitch is back.

2005-09-26T10:48:00.000-04:00

I don't even know where to begin to write this post. I figured it's been a month since I last posted, so I should probably get off my fat ass and not neglect the blog anymore - but so much has happened in the past month I don't know where to start!

Well, first I should start with a health update, as that is the reason I originally took a little hiatus from the blogosphere. I'm not gonna lie...there have been many dark days since I last left you. Almost two months after my first symptoms appeared, there still is no definitive answer. Things are still being investigated, minorly invasive procedures are involved, and I have gone through many, many trials with various medications. Each one has given me some new round of glorious side effects, thus elevating my anxiety even more. There was one week where I cried practically every day because the pain was so bad and it felt like no one was helping me. I've since calmed down quite a bit, and I'm reasonably certain that I'm not dying (at least I've been assured that by no less than three physicians), but still. I'm just waiting for the day when I can resume some sort of normal life instead of waking up and having six pills for breakfast.

Still, over the past two weeks or so I've learned to control my anxiety better, and that has seemed to help with at least some of my health problems. And really, in the long run, those are skills I will probably need anyway, so something good has come out of this. Oh, that and the fact that I've lost a grand total of 25 lbs. since the beginning of the summer. Having no will to eat isn't really the most healthy diet, but it worked like a charm for me. So, here's to a thinner, if not necessarily happier, me.

School has started again since I left you last, and I'm in full teacher mode right now. I have to say that teaching has presented a fascinating array of new challenges. There's so much micromanaging involved it seems that I spend half my day e-mailing back and forth with my students - who are apparently never satisfied by anything I do for them. Ah, youth. But on the whole, they are really a great bunch of kids. And I'm totally enjoying playing the "professor" role. Shamefully, I admit that it gives me some small kind of power trip when I'm up there lecturing and watching them take notes on something I'm saying. Really, I'm rather incredulous that they find anything I say that important. Still, I really like that I'm exposing them to ideas and aspects of culture that they have never thought about before. And some of the questions I've inspired are really great - it gives me a small thrill to know that they're not just sitting there wishing they were somewhere else, but actually engaged and thinking about something that I said - ME, of all people - is quite amazing to me.

This past weekend was the first weekend that I've really felt good enough to spend time socializing, and socialize I did. Saturday night was the first ever Queer Boston Bloggers dinner, and I had a lovely time. It was nice to meet people face to face, and to pick up some new blogs that I've never really read before. In fact, I was partly inspired to start blogging again by that very gathering. So, thank you, Queer Boston Bloggers. It's not easy to get this lazy behemoth into gear.

Sunday was spent in Hopkinton, wishing a good friend of mine congratulations. She both finished her PhD this summer and fought a successful battle with melanoma - she had much to celebrate, and it was my pleasure to help celebrate with her! Of course, I ate too much (and I think I'm paying for it today), but it was grand to see everyone healthy, happy, and enjoying life. Later that evening, I joined up with Karl and a bunch of his friends (and friends of friends) to see the fireworks downtown celebrating Boston's 375th anniversary. The fireworks were pretty, the people were pretty, and I got on a swing for the first time in years. Then, after about an hour chatting with Karl, I headed home and finished reading Martin Luther's On Christian Liberty, which promptly put me to sleep. Why, oh why, did I assign such boring reading?

Speaking of which, I have to run off to a discussion of said boring reading. So, I'm back kids. Send me presents.

Fare thee well, for now.

2005-08-26T13:22:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the lack of posts, everyone. My health problems continue to confound almost everyone I talk to, so for the time being I'm going on a little blog-iatus. Hopefully I will return forthwith, and in better health. Until then, my lovelies, I hope all is well with you.

The obsession with bullet points continues.

2005-08-17T10:01:00.000-04:00

OK, it seems that, once again, I must apologize for the lack of updates. I'm sure you all wait with breath that is baited for each and every entry, but my devotion to the crowd is sadly not that strong. There have recently been some pressing issues on my plate, so updating the blog has been a bit of a hassle of late. But, I have set aside a bit of time today to fill you all in on the fantastic goings-on of the life of Jason with...wait for it...BULLET POINTS! YES!

-My friend's visit was a lot of fun. We took a couple of road trips while she was here, including Freeport, Maine on Friday and Providence, Rhode Island on Saturday. She and I usually take a random spur-of-the-moment road trip. She likes driving, mostly because it gives the two of us time to listen to some good tunes (which we talk about A LOT), and to chat about things. Saturday's trip to Providence was to see the Providence Water Fire, which was actually quite nice. They light a bunch floating pyres in the Providence River, and play music as people stroll along the walkways of the river. I never thought of Providence as a particularly nice place to visit, but this trip was really lovely. I also got a chance to meet her new boyfriend, as he came up to take her out for her birthday on Sunday. He's very nice (and super cute). We actually had a very interesting conversation because he went to Christian Academy for his entire (non-collegiate) education. We talked about evolution, and whether or not he feels he missed anything by going to school with all Christians. I have to say, it was very enlightening for me in many respects. I tend to think of fundamentalists as rigidly dogmatic about their religion, but it's really isn't that way. He seemed very open to other people's ideas, and was never judgmental about people's lives as he recognized that he, himself, is far from perfect. Nice guy, I hope he sticks around. Oh yeah, and the Providence Place Mall? What a monstrosity.

-Work and school have been incredibly busy. Like I've said before, I've been trying to get everything in order for my course this fall, including my new office, revising the syllabus, ordering books, and trying to write some lecture material. And then my day job is getting crazy as well because the international students are starting to arrive and they all need to be registered, find housing, get Social Security numbers, etc. It's a mad house around here lately, and I barely find time to have lunch, let alone my usual quality internet-surfing time.

-I've been having a bit of a health issue. For the past three weeks I've been having this pain in my chest that my doctor keeps telling me is acid reflux disease. It comes and goes throughout the day, but it happens every day no matter what I eat. And the medication really isn't doing much except making me lightheaded and drowsy. So this Friday I have yet another doctor's appointment to see how I'm progressing, and they might suggest that I get an endoscopy in case I have a hiatal hernia or an ulcer. Lots of fun for Jason.

Well, that's the news for now. I hope you're all doing well!

Friends & Enemies

2005-08-11T13:11:00.000-04:00

Well, so far my friend's visit has been a lot of fun. Last night we had Mexican food (which we both love), and laughed for quite a few hours before finally hitting the sack. Tonight we're heading off to karaoke so we can both belt out some rockin' tunes, and tomorrow I have the day off so we're taking a road trip to an as yet unspecified location (suggestions, anyone?). Yay for friends.

Sadly, today I am stuck at work while my friend and two of my other high school friends in the area are getting together for lunch. I feel a bit left out, but since I just had to pay through the nose to fix my stupid car, I really couldn't take a second day off this week. Anyway, my lunch plans were just as pleasant...one of my friends from the history department works in the library for the summer, so we have a standing lunch date every day. Today, we took our shoes off and dipped our little piggies in the campus fountain just in time for one of the prospective student tours to pass by. Good times.

If you don't read Harry Potter books, now is your chance to stop reading. You were warned.

OK, so I realize I'm a bit behind on the new book because I just started reading it this week, BUT..

WHAT IS UP WITH SNAPE GETTING THE DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS JOB?

Now, I grant you, Slughorn seems a little sketchy to me, but I don't trust Severus Snape any farther than I could throw him with a Shield Charm. And his meeting with Bellatrix and Narcissa in the beginning of the book really has me worried. Methinks something wicked this way comes...

OK, have lovely little weekends, my precious cheese doodles.

"I'm gonna learn ya my philosophy..."

2005-08-10T13:12:00.000-04:00

Well, yesterday was something of a surprise. I had fully intended to post something by the end of the day -- I'm very busy and important, you know, but I made it a top priority -- when out of the blue the fire alarm in my building went off. Thinking it's a drill, we all grabbed our stuff and trundled down the stairs so we could sweat outside and wait for the pointless arrival of Boston's finest firefighters. Fine summer fun. Well, we get outside and immediately we're hit with the wreaking stench of gas. And not just a whiff, but full-on, in-your-face gas. Most of us got nauseous on the spot, so we quickly abandoned our posts and headed across the street to the White Mountain Creamery for milkshakes while the authorities tried to stem what was obviously a major gas leak. When, 45 minutes later, they were still not letting people into the building, my boss very graciously told us all to go home about an hour and fifteen minutes early. Happy Tuesday to us! Of course, I did practically nothing with my newfound freedom except go home and delve once more into the new Harry Potter, but still, time off is time off.

Later last night my roommate and I ran about like...um...things that run about (sorry, brain fart) trying to clean our apartment. My best friend from high school is coming to visit for a while, and we needed the place to look spiffy, so in anticipation of her arrival this evening we got out the mop and the vacuum and the Lysol. We always have the best times at my apartment.

Anyhow, I'm very excited about the arrival of my friend. She's an amazingly fun person to be with, and we get along famously. This might not seem odd for friends, but what is odd is that she's a religious fundamentalist and I'm a liberal homo, so the fact that we're friends at all is bogglesome (is that a word?). Nevertheless, our differences of opinion have never seemed to get (permanently) in the way of our friendship, and though she has been living in New Jersey for the past 8 years, I still miss her terribly. It's always a treat when she comes to visit.

Now it's back to work with me, but before I go, I leave you with the random thought of the day:

I think that "Sex Type Thing" by the Stone Temple Pilots is one of the GREATEST. SONGS. EVER. That will be all. Thank you.

"Hey, you're just too funky for me..."

2005-08-08T14:17:00.000-04:00

Hello once again, everyone.

I'm sorry to have been a bit remiss in my blogging duties of late, there has just been a lot of stuff going on. I was having a bit of a health issue last week (nothing serious, mostly just annoying), but it appears to be getting better. The good news is that, because of the antibiotics, I lost like 5 pounds in 3 days. I'm now officially at 190 lbs., for a grand total lost of 18 lbs.! Go me! I would like to thank the bacteria that so graciously caused me to have no appetite whatsoever...

Besides being a bit laid-up, I'm also quite a busy boy these days. Not only am I starting to write some of the lectures for the first few weeks of the class I'll be teaching in September, but I've also become quite the social butterfly. A friend of mine from Poland is going to be here until next week, as will my best friend from high school, and this weekend I drove to my parents' house for an impromptu visit with another friend who now lives in South Carolina. It's very difficult being so popular! It is wonderful to have so many great friends, though. I mean, who else would cheer and holler enthusiastically at my awful karaoke rendition of George Michael's "Too Funky"?

While I was at home this weekend, I went to see The Island with my sister. All I have to say is: eh. I guess it was entertaining for a couple of hours, but there were a couple of things that really bothered me. For example, the plot holes the size of Canada. And the not-too-subtle message about cloning and stem cell research. But whatever...it was nice to look at Ewan McGregor for a couple of hours. Yum.

In other news, not only did I just have to spend about $400 getting my car fixed, but while it was parked in front of my parents' house Saturday night, someone egged my friggin' car! I mean, c'mon people. This is 2005...who the hell eggs someone's car? What kind of brain-dead troglodyte gets his jollies that way? Thankfully the car wash was able to take care of it, but add another 20 bucks to the tab for my poor '96 Cutlass Ciera. Seriously, she's an old girl...she can't take much more of this.

OK folks, I have to get back to work, and I think I've rambled here long enough. Happy Monday!

"The fortune queen of New Orleans..."

2005-08-02T09:59:00.000-04:00

It pains me to admit it, but it looks like this year's camping trip may be dead in the water.

I know, I know. I hate the heat. I get sunburned. I am deathly afraid of insects. Why would I go camping? Well, the camping trips that we take ("we" being my Mom, my sister, my aunt, and myself), are really just an excuse to sit around, play games, and eat crap food -- including buckets of my sister's awesome snickerdoodles. Every summer we pitch a tent in the woods, light up the campfire, and let the good times roll. We always come away with some really good laughs, and we still tell stories about camping trips from years past. I think everyone else in the family is jealous that we don't invite them.

Anyway, this year we can't do it because we're all in the middle of some really important business and we can't find two or three days to just take off into the woods of Massachusetts. Instead, we've opted for a "game day" where, basically, we will do what we would have done camping: play games, eat junk food, and laugh. Somehow, it just won't be the same without the tent and having to fight with the dog for room in the sleeping bag. I'm sure we'll have a good time anyway.

In other news, I'm thrilled that one of my good friends is in town visiting! She moved to Poland last summer after she got her master's, and has been living in Krakow for the past year. It's kind of a prerequisite of friendship with me that you have to be a little off-kilter, and she's probably the standard for weirdness against which all others are measured. We were at dinner last night and she (in typical fashion) whipped out some Mad Libs in the middle of the appetizers. We laughed uproariously and probably annoyed the hell out of the other patrons, but I don't care. It was great to laugh like that again. Welcome home, buddy! I see some karaoke in my future...and it will probably include my rousing rendition of "Dark Lady"...

Happy Tuesday!

Weekend Round-Up: 2 movies, some PJs, and an empty pizza box.

2005-08-01T14:32:00.000-04:00

The fun never stops with me, I tell ya.

Friday night I got duped by my roommate into seeing a midnight showing of The Princess Bride at the Somerville Theatre in Davis Square. I have to admit, even though I was reluctant to go, I had a very good time. We met up with some of her crazy theater friends and took up two whole rows inside the movie house. I've seen the movie about a gazillion times, but this time was different. It's such an experience seeing a movie you love on the wide screen, but it's even better when you see it on the wide screen with about a hundred people who love the movie as much as you do. People were laughing at lines that we all knew by heart, and even though it's cheesy, I really feel like we all bonded for a couple of hours though we may not have spoken to anyone but the friends we came with.

Although I enjoyed my midnight movie experience, I realized only too late that it was a bit of a mistake, seeing as I was going to meet up with Karl early on Saturday. I got home from the movie around 2:30 AM and fell asleep somewhere around 3 AM, knowing full well that I would have to get up at around 8:30 AM to make it to Karl's place in time. Miraculously, I pulled it off, but I'm quite sure I dozed off on the bus for a few minutes.

Karl and I went to see the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Tim Burton and Johnny Depp. I had heard some mixed reviews of it, but I will say this: I am sorry to have ever doubted the genius that is Mr. Depp. And plus, I love almost everything that Tim Burton does. Willy Wonka was suitably creepy, and the chocolate factory looked just as wonderful as it should have been -- all with a distinctive Burton-esque veneer of the strange and mysterious masquerading as normalcy. The movie was followed by lunch in Beacon Hill and then some hanging back at Karl's place before I had to dash. Thanks again for a lovely outing, Karl!

Sunday's activities involved me practicing my imitation of a sloth. I think I succeeded relatively well, as I didn't leave the apartment (and rarely left the couch) all day. What can I say? My pyjamas are just too comfortable. Honestly, I think it was just what I needed to regroup...it's been a long time since I just took a day and relaxed. So I ordered take-out, drank gallons of Diet Pepsi, and watched about 8 hours' worth of DVDs -- and had a marvelous time doing it. Yay for me.

I hope everyone's weeks are off to a great start!

Grrrrrr.

2005-07-29T10:49:00.000-04:00

Oh, what a foul morning.

First off, I finally picked up my car at the garage last night. They had called and said that they couldn't replicate the problem, but it sounded like the engine was idling really fast (duh), so they reprogrammed the engine idle speed and told me I could pick it up for $150. Nice. So I picked it up and drove it home. It was fine.

I had plans last night with a friend of mine to go to the movies and see Wedding Crashers. The movie was pretty funny. It's not usually my standard fare, but I definitely laughed raucously at several scenes. Anyway, after the movie I drove home, natch. And the damn "service engine soon" light came on, and the car started making the same damn noise it made the other day. Of course it did. Because God hates me, apparently.

Now, I had to get up early this morning anyway because I had a doctor's appointment at the Fenway Community Health Center. It takes me a long time to get there because it's in the Back Bay and I live in Watertown, but I like the staff there and I like my doctor a lot. And if you're gay, you should really think about going there because they're very sensitive to gay issues. And plus, there's a wide variety of people there...this morning in the waiting room I sat between this huge bull dyke and a muscled circuit boy. Anyway, so now because of the car issues I had to get up REALLY early so I could:

a) Drive the car to the garage.
b) Catch the bus to Kenmore Square.
c) Walk from there to the FCHC.
d) Have my appointment (during which I was poked and prodded in places that were only meant to be treated nicely!).
e) Go to CVS and get a prescription filled.
f) Catch the T to work and still be reasonably on time.

So, here I sit. No car. Long day already at 11AM. And sore from being stuck like a pin cushion. Anybody who intends to piss me off today should just consider what it may feel like to be hunted down like a dog in the street. I'm just sayin'.

"Wonderfully, today is still the day of salvation." Rejoice!

2005-07-27T09:43:00.000-04:00

Well, the past two days have not been terribly exciting. I've just been doing random stuff that needed to get done around the house, since my car is still sitting in the garage. They actually called yesterday to tell me that they couldn't replicate the problem I was reporting. So, that's great...now the mechanics think I'm crazy AS WELL AS clueless about cars.

Anyway, last night included some leftover jambalaya and Friends on DVD, some phone calls to friends of my own, and some CD mix-making. I was invited to Karl's to get initiated into the wonder that apparently is Big Brother, but since the car is (as stated above) in the shop, that trip would turn out to be an arduous journey. I would have had to pack trail rations and a desalinization kit.

Mixmaster J was in rare form last night. I belong to this internet CD mix club where everyone signed up swaps mixes with someone else once a month. Most of the people in the club get pretty clever, and you get to hear a lot of music that one may not otherwise be familiar with. It's really a lot of fun. So behold! I give unto you the following mix that my lucky mixee should be receiving in the next 3 or 4 days:

The Music of the Night
1. Cyndi Lauper - I Drove All Night
2. Phil Collins - In the Air Tonight
3. Guns 'n Roses - Nightrain
4. Queensrÿche - Another Rainy Night (Without You)
5. Gladys Knight & the Pips - Midnight Train to Georgia
6. The Five Satins - In the Still of the Night
7. Smashing Pumpkins - Tonight, Tonight
8. Patti Smith - Because the Night
9. The Cars - Tonight She Comes
10. Eve 6 - Here's to the Night
11. INXS - Need You Tonight
12. Collective Soul - Goodnight, Good Guy
13. Whitney Houston - Queen of the Night
14. Fleetwood Mac - Tango in the Night
15. Def Leppard - Tonight
16. Lionel Richie - All Night Long
17. Pat Benatar - Shadows of the Night
18. Heart - Will You Be There (In the Morning)

So far, today is starting out grandly. I have a quarter of a mile hike from the bus stop to my job, and the heat was causing me to sweat profusely. But whatever, it's summer so I was expecting that. What I was not expecting was that the minute I stepped off the bus I was handed a pamphlet with the following heading:

"All Churches are spiritually dead. Believers must NOW depart out. HAS GOD SAVED YOU?"

I love it when people hand me blog fodder. After I read the headline, I turned around and said to the dowdy man who had so graciously thought I needed saving upon seeing me for a full half-second, "Thank you for your generous concern for the salvation of my immortal soul, but do you think you could ask Him to do something about the heat first?"

I'm cranky before I've had my first cup of tea in the morning.

Oh...fuck.

2005-07-25T09:56:00.000-04:00

This past weekend was delightful. Too bad this morning sucks. But I get ahead of myself.

Friday night I went to see my roommate in a play. The show was an evening of one-act plays, and she was a performer in one of the one-acts. So, she was actually only in the show for about twenty minutes. Nevertheless, her 20 minutes were the best of the night, and I'm not just saying that because she's my friend. The other plays, with the exception of one, were ghastly. Badly written, badly acted, bad concepts, just bad. Ick. Thank heaven my roommate is a good actress...all that drama in her life is good for something!

After the play, one of my good friends from college (whom I took to the play) suggested we go to IHOP. The IHOP, for all of its tackiness, is a great place to get a late-night snack. Our Indonesian waiter was very friendly, and the food was very prompt. I know it's not haute cuisine, but whatever. Where else can one get an omelette and three pancakes for under $10? Plus, she and I have some very fond memories from college days at that IHOP. To remember those old times, we got out some paper and played that old kids' game MASH. It turns out I'm going to be living in a house in San Francisco with 10,000 kids while being married to Colin Farrell. Life IS beautiful, I say.

The rest of the weekend was pretty uneventful. I got a haircut, bought a couple of CDs and a DVD, had some Indian food with friends, and went to the grocery store. After the past couple of weekends, it was really nice to just hang out and do whatever.

Until today.

Mondays and I have very bad relationships. Today, while driving to work, my car started doing very bad things to me. The engine is revving constantly whether my foot is on the gas or not. And so when I got to work, I called the garage to make an appointment and the only time they can get me in is next Tuesday! My car is scaring me, so I won't drive it, but how am I going to get to work for the rest of the week? God, I hate the bus. Guess I'd better fire up the old iPod for the trip.

But that's not all! On top of the miserable car experiences this morning, I've already had two -- count 'em TWO! -- rude phone calls at work this morning. One guy asked a question that is more appropriate for another of the administrative offices to answer, so when I kindly asked if I could direct him to said other office, he pertly replied, "You know what? You people are not the school for me." *click* Fine, asshole. I'm sure any of the other thousands of applicants to this school would be glad to take your place.

I'm never going to get through this day if the pace keeps up like this. Thank heaven I bought stuff to make jambalaya tonight. Yum.

"Mutha, don't wanna go to school today..."

2005-07-22T10:42:00.000-04:00

Well, Mom's visit was a lot of fun. She and I always have a great time together. We both have very similar temperaments, and we both like a lot of the same things, so we can usually find something that suits both of us. Yesterday was a very busy day, and what do we do on the blog when there was a very busy day to report? That's right...bullet points! Yay!

-Mom got here Wednesday night around 9PM. So from about 5PM until her arrival, I had to kill a few hours' time. I packed in about 20 minutes, so then I convinced my roommate NOT to go to the gym, and rather, to sit in my air-conditioned bedroom and play Yahtzee. Since we got rid of the cable my roommate has become a Yahtzee fiend, and she was easily persuaded. Mom got there, we said our hellos, and then we headed to the hotel. By the time we got there and checked in, Mom was kind of tired, so we sat in the hotel bar and drank some wine and chatted about the family -- dad's new job, grandma's party, and how my sister doesn't pay any of the bills. I've come to realize this is the essential purpose of my relationship with mother: To be a listener while she complains about the rest of the people in the family. We soon went to bed.

-On the morrow, we awoke fairly early and had a lovely breakfast buffet in restaurant at the hotel. Mom was eager to tackle the city, so much so that she almost left the restaurant without paying the bill. After taking care of that small matter, we hopped on the T and headed downtown.

-We got off at Arlington because she said she wanted to traipse through the Boston Public Garden and Boston Common. Although it was quite hot, in the shaded luxury of the public greenery it was actually nicely temperate. We got fruit smoothies and sat on a bench in the Garden, watching the swans. More chatting about crazy relatives. Good times.

-After the Garden and the Common, we were walking through Downtown Crossing and doing some shopping on our way to the New England Aquarium, another of the sites Mom wanted to visit. She was mesmerized by the penguins, and I fell in love with watching the jellyfish. We petted starfish (ew!), and had Diet Coke on Long Wharf. Evening was approaching. More talkin' shit about relatives. Oh, and talking about my Mom's job...which, since she's an intensive care nurse, involves a lot of stories about people dying nasty deaths. (Now, Karl, see where I get it?)

-We opted for an early dinner in the North End. I promised her a couple of weeks ago I would take her to dinner for her birthday, and since she has never been to the North End, I figured it would be a cool place to go. We mosied through the picturesque streets (didn't get lost this time!), took a gander at the Old North Church, a stroll through Copp's Hill Burying Ground, and laughed at the smallest house in Boston. We had dinner at Assaggio, which by all accounts was VERY good, if a bit pricey. Do check it out!

-By this time, we were exhausted, and our hips hurt like a couple of old ladies. We thought about going to the movies, but neither of us could agree on something to see, so we decided to relax back at the hotel instead. We bought a pack of cards and played cribbage and watched Meet the Fockers on the hotel movie channel. My word, how Barbra Streisand has fallen!

OK, there's lots more to tell, but I won't bore you with the details, although you may be plenty bored already. Suffice it to say that a good time was had by all, and now I'm back at work before the weekend. And, thankfully, other than having to see my roommate in a play this evening, I am free. FREE. I think I shall sit on my ass, watch TV, and forget that I have any responsibilities at all.

"How gentle is the rain that falls softly on the meadow?"

2005-07-20T09:49:00.000-04:00

Today, my friends, is a good day.

Why, do you ask? Well, I'll tell you. First, the disgusting, underwear-curling, sweat-inducing, labored breathing-causing humidity has finally broken. The ride into work today was gorgeous...sunny, mildly warm, no traffic, and cruising along to some good oldies tunes. "A Lover's Concerto" by the Toys is a great song.

Second, I have broken the stalemate and lost another 2 lbs. How awesome am I? Quite. Life is grand.

Of course, the weight loss is probably not due to any ingestive vigilance on my part. Rather, it is more likely that I lost it because I sweated all the water out of my body trying to clean my apartment last night. Why clean on one of the hottest nights in recent memory? Well, the landlord was coming over to have us sign the new lease, and as pleasant as it is to have dust on your dining room table for company, I felt it more understated to go with a "clean" look. So I toiled by dusting, vacuuming, doing dishes, mopping the kitchen floor, and cleaning the bathroom. By the time I got done, I was dripping sweat all over my newly polished tile floor. I was über pretty. So I took a cold - and I mean COLD - shower and got dressed just in enough time to greet my landlord with a smile, sign the lease, and ask him to fix the toilet. Pleasant evening indeed.

I am super excited that my Mom is coming to visit tonight. She booked a hotel room downtown for the two of us, so after work I am going to drive her down there (she hates driving in the city). I'm taking tomorrow off, and we're going to do what two ladies of leisure do best -- shop and eat in the city. Fun!

OK, my chickadees. Enjoy the weather, and have lovely little Wednesdays and Thursdays!

I am the rummy master.

2005-07-19T13:21:00.000-04:00

Phew! So far, it's been a busy day. In between answering the phone, helping students, revising my course syllabus, and ordering books, I'm pooped! But, I must say that all this work I'm putting into my course is paying off. I'm very happy with the books I've chosen, and I already have 20 students registered for my course in the fall! This is all very exciting...

Last night's activities involved an impromptu rendez-vous (how do you like that? Latin and French in one sentence!) with Karl for some laid-back entertainment. I went over to his adorable apartment in the North End, having to brave the T for the first time in several months. And on such a humid evening as well! Anyway, we ordered a pizza and chatted a bit before getting down to a rollicking hand of rummy. I decidedly trounced the opposition (sorry Karl), but I still maintain that this was not due to any high level of rummy-playing skill on my part -- merely the luck of the draw. Oh, plus I'm awesome. And perhaps the background VH1 Classic music videos helped. Nothing can invigorate my competitive instincts like a little Guns 'n Roses.

I got a little lost on my way home due to circumstances beyond my control, but I had a leisurely stroll through the North End until I came upon the glittering beacon of brutalist architecture that is Boston City Hall and eventually made my way back to my car. Thanks for a lovely evening, Karl!

And so, another day at work. I really feel like it should be, like, Thursday already. I'm so ready for a real weekend.

My family must sound like the Waltons with all of these posts.

2005-07-18T10:44:00.000-04:00

Well, Grandma's party was quite a success. She was duly surprised. The ruse we employed involved my sister offering to take her out to brunch for her birthday. Which she did...with forty of her closest friends and relatives. The minute she walked in the door we yelled "Surprise!" (and she didn't have a heart attack -- thankfully!), and she seemed so happy. She immediately turned to my sister and said, "You...you dirty bird!", and then gave her a big ol' hug. It was very touching.

So Grandma made the rounds among the tables. She seemed very happy to see me. She always says that she doesn't have any favorites among her grandchildren, but that's a lie and we all know it. She clearly favors me, probably because I was the first, and I was also the one dearest to my now-departed grandfather (which Grandma tells me at every family occasion). It's kind of become a joke between me, my sister, and my cousins. She practically pushes them out of the way to get to me every time we come over. Although I may have a run for my money now that one of my cousins has entered the Navy. All I have to say is that his picture better not bump mine from the prime wall-spot over her television.

The rest of the weekend was spent lounging in the pool with my family, playing pseudo-volleyball in the water, and just laughing my ass off. I love my family, but I'm glad that my family obligations are done for now...one more trip to Connecticut and I may run amok with a meat cleaver. I told them that if they want to see me before Thanksgiving, they had better come visit me in Boston. And so my Mom, bless her soul, is coming up on Wednesday night and we are going to traipse around downtown all day on Thursday. Yay! Maybe I'll wear my new cute shoes...

You may be left wondering 'What's an Evinrude?' if you read this.

2005-07-15T10:47:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was a long day. After spending all day at work, I had to make a trip to the Massachusetts Historical Society. Over the past year, I've been working on a research project for a scholar who lives in California. His research is on certain regiments from Illinois and their participation in the Civil War, so several of the manuscript collections he needed to look at are housed at the MHS and the Boston Public Library. So, periodically he e-mails me with some more stuff to check out and I make a brief trip downtown to look through 140-year-old letters in really, really bad handwriting. It doesn't exactly get my Evinrude cranking, but it pays $25 an hour. And it's nice to know I have skills that are actually practical in some instances.

Well, last night's trip wasn't going very well because the papers I needed to look at were undergoing some sort of restorative process and were mostly unavailable for viewing. But, as a pleasant surprise, I did run into a friend of mine while I was at the MHS. She was doing almost exactly the same thing I was, and we had a nice chat. We walked down to the Prudential Center and had some really bad Chinese food. It was glorious.

This weekend is yet another trip to sunny Connecticut for more Adventures in Suburbia! My grandmother's 80th birthday party is on Sunday. It's a surprise, and as far as we know, she has no clue it's happening. My grandmother is a crazy old lady with a wacky sense of style. She's always liked to dress well, but in her dotage she's kind of gone from making the scene to terrifying all who come in contact with her. She dyes her hair platinum blonde, she has these electric-blue glasses with rhinestone trim, and wears the gaudiest, loudest, most brightly-colored earrings and clothing you can imagine. She's fabulous. I can't wait to see her face when she sees everyone gathered just for her. Happy birthday, Gramma.

OK folks, have a great weekend!

Daddy Dearest

2005-07-14T10:35:00.000-04:00

Yay! My dad is employed again!

Back in the fall, the company my father used to work for was bought out by Staples in an effort to wipe out some of their competitive market in Connecticut. Since the acquisition was meant purely to eliminate a rival company, Staples wasn't interested in hiring any of the old employess except for the salespeople, so my father found himself without a job for the first time since he was a teenager. He had worked at the company for over thirty years, and then at 56 years old, became unemployed. It was pretty rough, although financially we were OK because my Mom has a really high-paying job. But in other ways, it really took its toll.

At first it wasn't so bad because my Dad had a lot of projects around the house that he had been meaning to do. And the house does look really fabulous now...he repainted a lot of the house, did a lot of yard work, installed some new bookshelves. He even became a master chef using the slow-cooker I bought my Mom for Christmas. Occasionally he would drive my Mom and my sister crazy because he's ALWAYS around the house, but that was really a secondary annoyance. After the projects dried up, though, so did Dad's good humor.

It got to be really depressing for him, and for us. He felt like he wasn't contributing anything to the family, and even though he was applying for part-time and full-time jobs all over the place, no one was hiring him. In a lot of ways, it was really sad. I'm not used to seeing my father -- the man who always was so strong and a good provider -- in such a vulnerable position. Talking to him on the phone became one of the most depressing things I've ever had to do.

He called me yesterday, and immediately I could tell something had changed because his voice sounded unusually cheerful. With great pride he told me that he now had a new job, and it's something he thinks he's really going to like -- unlike the job he was at for 30 years and hated every minute. It's weird, but I suddenly felt as if our roles had been reversed...like I was HIS father, and at that moment, no father could have been prouder of a son. He stuck it out and got a job he really likes.

So, perhaps everything does happen for a reason. Good luck on your first day, Dad. I love you.

/schmaltz :-)

"She said hello, you fool, I love you..."

2005-07-13T11:56:00.000-04:00

Well it didn't go quite like that, but despite some postponements and a last-minute change in itinerary, I finally had my first real-time blogger experience with Karl at Adventures in Gastronomy! Sipping iced tea on a clear, cool summer evening in Harvard Square with a really great person and good conversation is my idea of a perfect after-work outing, wouldn't you agree? So, Karl, it was great to meet you, and we definitely have to do that more often. You're the coolest wannabe-school bus driver I've ever met.

Upon my return home, I was very pleased to see that my new hot roommate had networked my computer to our now-functioning cable internet! I can't believe how much I've missed having the web at home, especially for iTunes. Since I've been off the iTunes for quite a while, I might have to go on a little downloading frenzy when I get home from work today. I've been keeping a running tally of songs I absolutely NEED to own. (And yes, I NEED to own White Town's "Your Woman.")

OK, one last thing before I get back to work -- see the link to the right that says The St. James Version? I don't know how many of you remember the Club Kids phenomenon of the late-80s and early-90s, but they were a group of New York City miscreants who ran amok in NYC clubs like Limelight and Tunnel while hopped up on Ecstasy, K, and heroin. It's a sordid tale of drugs, sex, and underground nightlife, but they were also incredibly creative. I've become obsessed with them and their (often warped, but always fabulous) sense of style. If you want to know more, check out the movie Party Monster, or the documentary of the same name, for some cool visuals. Anyhow, the movie is based on the novel by former Club Kid and NYC "celebutante" James St. James. He's hysterical, and the link is to his blog. Check it out...you won't be disappointed. Toodles!

5 Random Things About Jason

2005-07-12T10:56:00.000-04:00

I love to make lists. I constantly make "to do" lists, grocery lists, lists of my favorite songs, lists of things I want to buy. I don't know why I like to, I just do. Probably because it's a very simple and effective way to organize your life, something of which I am in constant need. So, in the interest of filling today's blog post with something mildly interesting (as opposed to my caffeine-induced ramblings about what pathetic activity I enjoyed last night), I've decided to post the following list of 5 Random Things About Jason. Enjoy!

5 Random Things About Jason

1. I have an unabashed love of late-80s and early-90s hair metal bands like Def Leppard, Poison, Mötley Crüe, and Bon Jovi. Two summers ago, my best friend from high school and I went to Def Leppard, Kiss, Aerosmith, and Bon Jovi concerts in one week (as well as catching the Mötley Crüe show a couple of months ago). After the Week of Rock (as we called it), we were prompted to meticulously catalogue every hair metal song we like and burn them into a mix CD collection of some 16 volumes entitled "Hardcore Hair."

2. I'm kind of an art nerd. I'm a cultural historian, so my interest in art is less about style and influence and more about the historical importance and significance of various artistic trends in sculpture, painting, and architecture. I love museums, and if I have a day where I don't have anything planned or pressing to do, I will usually go to the Museum of Fine Arts and wander for hours.

3. I used to be a dancer. I never danced professionally, but from third grade through my sophomore year in college I took lessons in jazz, tap, ballet, modern, and lyric dancing. I competed regionally, won a few gold medals, and once came in as second runner-up Teen Mr. Dance of Connecticut. In college I performed with my school's dance troupe, and I was the only guy in a group of about 50 girls. Eventually I quit because I was starting to get into other things like writing, academics, and GLBT activism. I still miss dancing though, and I think someday I will get back into it.

4. When I was a kid I used to have recurring nightmares about being alone in a bright sandy desert and all of a sudden being swallowed by a giant lizard. Also, I had an intense fear of wolves, and frequently dreamed that a wolf-man would attack me in my sleep. I still get chills whenever I think about those dreams.

5. When I really like movies, it's more often about the "look" of the movie than the plot or the acting or the writing (don't get me wrong...I like those things too, and they go a long way toward my enjoyment of the film, but sometimes they fall by the wayside if I like the way the film looks). For example, I love the movie The Cell. The story is so-so, the acting is brutally bad, but the film is gorgeous. I love the imagery and the symbolism and the use of artistic influence like that of Odd Nerdrum. I love German Expressionist films for the same reason, especially Das Kabinett des Doktor Caligari. I usually find that horror films have particularly beautiful, if dark, imagery.

Ok folks, have a good day!

Adventures in Suburbia

2005-07-11T10:51:00.000-04:00

Have you ever noticed that practically everyone thinks that the best pizza they've ever had is from some small pizza joint in his or her hometown or neighboring settlement? It's certainly true in my case, so whenever I go home and my parents decide they're going to order a pizza for dinner, I know I'm in for a treat.

Such was my happiness on Friday night after I drove home in a monsoon. I left right from work and I managed to get to the Mass Pike before it started to really rain. By the time I got to Framingham it was pouring and my car was sliding all over the highway. I'm truly surprised that I didn't end up hydroplaning into a bridge abutment...especially since I apparently thought it was a fantastic idea to talk on my cell phone in the middle of driving through a typhoon. My friend on the other end of the line got a few larfs in when I shrieked like a little girl from time to time, so I guess that's good.

Saturday, I finally learned to make the sauce. And sweet bleeding Jesus was it delicious. I did, however, promise the old bag (I call her that with loving affection) that I would take the recipe to my grave, or pass it on to my children should I have any. So sorry, Cincy Diva, the cloak-and-dagger secret recipe blog idea is out. My word, auntie is a funny old lady. She never measures anything! She eyeballs it using exact measurements like a "pinch" and a "dash," which drives me nuts because I haven't been making this sauce for seventy years like her -- I don't know how much is enough. Plus, I brought over my CDs that I had brought down for GayFest (see previous entry) and she totally wanted to listen to Cher and Madonna. I love that woman.

Saturday night's GayFest was quite something to behold. Those prosciutto and artichoke stuffed mushrooms I made were fabulous, and they were a welcome addition the the Mediterranean feast my cousin had whipped up. She spent the whole day making hummus, stuffed grape leaves, and spanakopeta. After feasting on tasty delights and some very good wine, we decided to play Twister. I will say it was a lot of fun having three hot nineteen year old gay boys wrapped around me for a couple of hours. But they also play dirty...in more ways than one. And I'm definitely paying the price for it now. Who knew you could have lower back pain at 26 years old?

Sunday was my mom's birthday, so I used some of the sauce I made on Saturday to whip up some eggplant parmigiana and my sister baked a cake. Then we watched Star Wars (insert total fanboy giggle here) and played Outburst before I drove home. I got home late last night, but I was totally satisfied with all the fun I had this weekend.

And now, work. Ugh. Who sings that song "I Don't Like Mondays"? I think Monday mornings need their own soundtrack.

I'm gay and saucy!

2005-07-08T10:40:00.000-04:00

Yet another beautiful day in the Northeast. No wonder the Puritans thought this was the land their God had promised them. Only a Calvinist would think that dreary New England was the land of milk and honey.

This weekend promises to be interesting. After work today I'm heading to my parents' house in Connecticut, for yet another edition of Adventures in Suburbia. This weekend we have on the program the aforementioned "GayFest 2005" being thrown by my cousin. She, her gay roommate, my other cousin and her gay friend, my sister, and gay me are getting together for cocktails and appetizers and basically to have a gay ol' time. This should be fun -- nothing like three queens and a room full of straight girls. I promised I would bring appropriate music, so this morning I loaded up the car with all the old standards: Abba, Cher times three, Madonna times two, Erasure, and just to be campy, some Better Midler and Liza Minnelli. Plus, I'm making mushroom caps stuffed with artichoke and prosciutto stuffing. Yummy.

And tomorrow, it is finally going to happen...my aunt promised to teach me the sauce. It's all confirmed, so tomorrow morning at 11 AM, I am going to her house to whip up some tomato delight. And we're even making the pasta ourselves! God, I love cooking...I just wish it didn't have so many calories.

"And I'll remember the way that you changed me, now that I'm standing on my own..."

2005-07-07T10:03:00.000-04:00

What a dreary couple of days. Yesterday's rain was terrible. This is one of the charming things about driving in Boston, which under normal circumstances is always a dicey prospect -- when it rains hard around here, everything floods. So yesterday's commute not only involved the thronging hordes of morning drivers, but also it had rained so hard that it blew one of the manhole (hee -- I love that word) covers off of the sewer and started pouring water into a rapidly forming lake in the middle of Soldier's Field Road. Which I then had to drive through. And now, I think my brakes are fucked. Not even a trip to Target yesterday evening could relieve my rainy day frustration.

I was alone again last night, since both of my roommates work late on Wednesdays, so I decided to (once again!) watch trashy DVDs and drink several liters of Diet Pepsi. The gorgeously junkie movie of choice last night was 1994's With Honors. Not only does this movie feature one of Madonna's best songs ever, but it also features a delightful character performance by one of my all-time idols, Gore Vidal, as Harvard Professor of Government "Dragon" Pitkannan. I always cry at the scene where the Brendan Fraser character reads Simon Wilder's obituary, and last night was no exception. I bawled like a baby.

What's up with this crap? Nothing like being greeted at work by the news of yet more death and destruction. Only this time it was compounded by the fact that my friend is currently in London on a research trip. Thankfully, he's all right (but slightly rattled) even though he rides the King's Cross tube every morning.

OK y'all...I'm starving for some breakfast. Have a good day!

"Cuz I live and breathe that Philadelphia freedom..."

2005-07-05T09:58:00.000-04:00

My God, I am so tired this morning. Someone needs to hook the tea up to my veins so I can just get a constant caffeine flow going.

Saturday, the cable guy showed up an hour and a half late. Ordinarily, I wouldn't really mind. I know that they have a lot of customers, and sometimes the job takes longer than they expect. But his tardiness meant that I had to leave later for my parents' house, and I couldn't go out and enjoy any of the beautiful weather on Saturday because I was stuck in my apartment watching EuroTrip and waiting for the (albeit sexy) cable guy. I didn't even get a chance to try out my new porn-surfing capabilities before I had to leave!

Sunday, my aunt's picnic was a blast. Our family gatherings mostly consist of a lot of food and board games. So we spent the entirety of the day stuffing ourselves with good old barbecue food and playing Catch Phrase which, if you've never played, is one of the BEST. GAMES. EVER. Check it out. Later we played some croquette, and I sashayed around the field with my little red ball and croquette mallet doing my best impression of Heather Chandler. No one got it but me. Oh well.

Then, finally, on the actual 4th of July, the crusty old bat outsmarted me once again. I couldn't learn the sauce because she had already invited my family over for yet more barbecue. But I did secure a promise that next Saturday we would make the sauce and listen to Frank Sinatra.

All in all, a very busy weekend, and a very exhausting one (who knew that having a social life could wear you out so much?), but fun all the same.

Oh yeah, and do you remember that scene in the South Park movie where Terrance and Philip are killed and Satan and Saddam Hussein come to earth to rule in darkness and Saddam says "You all are really FUCKED now!"? That's kind of what I felt would happen after I heard about this. Except Saddam would be replaced with Antonin Scalia.

Sausage and porn and merriment, oh my!

2005-07-01T09:37:00.000-04:00

I'm excited to have so many plans for the holiday weekend!

First off, I'm really excited about my dinner this evening. It's the small things that keep me happy. I've been trying to make a lot of meals with my slow-cooker, mostly because it's really easy to do. Last night I prepared all the ingredients and this morning I just threw them in the cooker, plugged it in, turned it on, and by the time I get home from work tonight -- dinner is served! Tonight's choice is (turkey -- I'm on a diet) sausage and sauerkraut with carrots, onions, and potatoes.

My roommates are heading off to their family reunion in Pennsylvania this weekend, so tomorrow I'm going to be all by myself. The exciting thing is that I'm going to be there waiting for the cable guy to install our high-speed internet! Finally! I've missed it so since we got rid of our old cable/internet package. And of course you know what high-speed internet access means? Porn! And e-mail, I guess.

Sunday my Mom's family is having a picnic so I'm driving out to western Massachusetts for some family fun. I love visiting the town my Mom grew up in. She's related to practically the whole town, so family picnics are sometimes big boisterous affairs with lots of people and good food. But most of all, I just like the setting. Usually, I'm a city guy, but there's something about hanging out with your family in the huge backyard of a small farmhouse in a tiny New England town. Sure you can't get a pizza delivered, or see a movie -- or even a grocery store -- without driving for an hour, but it's very peaceful and the scenery is just gorgeous.

Monday being a holiday, I'm going to try and convince my aunt to try and teach me how to make her famous pasta sauce. One whole branch of my family is Sicilian (remind me to tell you about my Mafia connections), and they can cook like nobody's business. I've been trying to get her to teach me the sauce for years, but she always says that we need a whole day to do it and we'll get to it when I'm around for more than a few hours. This coming Monday is the day, I don't care what that loveable, yet ornery, old woman has to say.

Happy 4th everybody!

"Never before and never since, I promise, will the whole world be warm as this."

2005-06-30T10:04:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, after taking off early from work, I was kind of in a funk. I hate it when this happens and I don't have any particular reason why. Summers are supposed to be carefree and fun, but I get this way EVERY summer without any explanation. So to get out of my funk I decided to be productive and take my mind off of things. As a last minute decision, I hopped a bus to Harvard Square and did some dissertation research at the Harry Elkins Widener Memorial Library. Nothing cures the blues like spending hours looking at 19th-century French newspapers on microfilm. For those of you who don't have any reason to deal with getting research access to the Harvard libraries, let me tell you something -- it's like trying to get into the CIA. There are fees involved, security checks, references needed...in short, it's a nightmare. But, having gained access, I can totally see why they go through all of that. The libraries are absolutely beautiful. Not only are the research collections quite extensive and the facilities up-to-date, but the buildings (and the Widener building in particular) are just architecturally gorgeous. Beautiful federalist and neo-classical architecture, some adorned with murals by John Singer Sargent.

Anyway, while the research itself was rather boring, I was having a grand old time bopping along to my iPod. If you've ever been out with me, you know that music is never far from my soul. Thus, I tend to sing, hum, lip-synch, or dance whenever possible (my days as Teen Mr. Dance of Connecticut aren't so long gone...). So, I was lip-synching at the microfilm machine using my pen as a microphone and gave the librarian a chuckle. It totally took me out of my crap-ass mood. Of course, though, now that I was no longer in the summer doldrums I didn't want to do research any more. I hate catch-22's. So I hopped another bus back home.

Neither of my roommates were home, so I made some pasta, popped in Party Monster, and relaxed on the couch. It wasn't long before my new roommate (my current roommate's brother -- see previous posts) came home from work. We watched the trashy movie together, and afterward he totally ambushed me with this deep conversation. It was the type of late-night conversation I loved in college...the kind that's completely unexpected and very meaningful about life and people. The kind where another person opens his soul to you and you get to really know more about him. And it was great. I feel like we really connected, and that means a lot to me. It was a great way to end an otherwise mediocre day.

I love those days where life just takes you where it will, and you never know how you got where you are, but you certainly enjoyed the ride.

Blame the talking monkey.

2005-06-30T09:54:00.000-04:00

Joyous news this morning! Less than a week after Canada's Parliament voted to give full marriage rights to same-sex couples across Canada, Spain did the same thing, bringing the count of countries with full marriage equality for gay citizens to a grand total of four (also including the Netherlands and Belgium). Congratulations to Spanish Prime Minister Zapatero, who really pushed for this. Great Britain looks to be well on the way to equality as well. So why is this country so ass-backward?

"There'll be sad songs to make you cry..."

2005-06-29T12:57:00.000-04:00

I don't know why, but lately, I've been really emotionally sensitive to music. It seems that every sad song I hear makes me cry, every angry song makes me angry, and every love song makes me want to fall in love. Which, I suppose, is really the purpose of songwriting in the first place (all Marxist critiques about art being created solely for the capitalist market aside). If I were a woman I'd probably suspect that my Aunt Flo was about to visit...maybe it's just a case of the summertime blues. In any case, being so in touch with my feelings has prompted me to undertake a CD mix project of sad songs. When some people are bored they knit or do macramé or masturbate...me, I make mixes (well, and sometimes masturbate). So, here's what I have so far for sad songs:

The Phantom of the Opera - Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again
Evanescence - Forgive Me
Barbra Streisand & Neil Diamond - You Don't Bring Me Flowers
Sheryl Crow - Strong Enough
Jewel - Foolish Games
Les Misérables - On My Own
Tori Amos - China
Madonna - Oh Father
Cyndi Lauper - True Colors
Jason Mraz - You and I Both
Kate Bush - This Woman's Work
Tori Amos - Playboy Mommy
Scandal - Less Than Half
Alanis Morissette - Uninvited
The Cure - Pictures of You
The Smiths - How Soon Is Now?

OK, that's all I have for now. Does anyone out there have any suggestions? What are your favorite sad songs? Maybe if you're lucky I'll send you a copy of the mix when it's done.

Wow, this post was really lame. Don't hate me.

I love bullet points!

2005-06-28T13:56:00.000-04:00

Many random things about today. So what do we do when there are many random things to talk about? Bullet points!

- I drove into work today and parked in my normal spot right next to the practice fields. I guess it must be football training season because the field was packed with half-naked, sweaty football players doing calisthenics. Football players usually aren't my type, but some of them were very cute. And the best part? I drove in while blaring Britney Spears' "Do Somethin'" from my car speakers. Could I be any gayer?

-My dissertation advisor called this morning to tell me he had recommended me to a colleague for a job teaching a course on 19th-century Europe at Wheelock College. It sounds like an awesome opportunity, but the problem is that the Wheelock schedule conflicts with my current teaching schedule. The woman seems very excited about offering me the job, but if she can't finagle a schedule change, I might not be able to accept it. Boo hoo.

-At work this morning, I got a huge project dumped in my lap that's going to take all week. The worst part is that it involves a lot of typing and spreadsheets and it's killing my neck and shoulders. Anyone want to give me a massage?

OK, back to this dreadful project. Hope all is well with everyone!

"Havin' a heat wave, a tropical heat wave..."

2005-06-27T11:03:00.000-04:00

"...it isn't surprisin', the temperature's risin', she certainly can...can-can!" God I love Bing Crosby.

Anyhow, to beat the heat this weekend I fled from my stifling apartment to my parents' house in Connecticut. They have a pool and air conditioning. It was bliss. And plus, my parents are pretty cool. Mom and I played cribbage and Dad and I splashed around in the pool for hours. Good times! I felt bad about leaving my poor roommate to sweat to death, but hey babe, it's every man for himself in this heat.

Saturday night my aunt threw a party for her boyfriend's 50th birthday. He's a good guy, but his friends aren't my kind of people. They're the kind of bons vivants who drink beer to excess, get really loud and obnoxious, and then drive home. While that kind of behavior may be fine for strangers, certainly it isn't for anyone who wants to be associated with me or my family. Drunk drivers are just not cool. Obnoxious oafs aside, the party was pretty fun. There was good food, good drink, and lots of good company. My other aunt and I got into a deep discussion about abortion and stem cell research which then led to a discussion about parents relating to their gay kids. I think we learned from each other, and that's as it should be. Then later, two of my cousins and I planned a party that we're calling "GayFest 2005" -- which is basically an excuse for my cousins, my sister, and I to bring all of our gay friends together and have cocktails and laughs. I love that my family is so comfortable with "alternative" lifestyles...it's the wave of the future, people, ride it.

And so now it's back to work on a Monday morning. While I'm here, I've been trying to consolidate my undergrad loans online and it's been giving me palpitations. I really don't know anything about finance. I'm a history major for crying out loud, what do I know about practical things like money? I'm going to head to the student loan office on my lunch break and see if they can help me out. These interest rates are too good to pass up, and I know I've been slacking in getting this done, but really don't we all work best under pressure? OK, wish me luck, and enjoy your Mondays!

Improper Bostonians: Part, the Second

2005-06-22T10:03:00.000-04:00

Everyone say hello to Karl over at Adventures in Gastronomy. I've been reading this fellow Bostonian's blog for a couple of days now, and he's a really cool guy. I mean, anyone who plays Flinch is bound to be sparkling. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, you're behind the wave darlings. See, it already brought we two people into contact. And if that weren't enough, he seems to love TV almost as much as I do, and that will always usher someone into the warm cockles of my heart. So, venture forth, brave Readers. Read it. Link it. Love it.

Well slap my ass and call me Judy.

2005-06-22T10:01:00.000-04:00

Like we didn't all see this coming. Well, good luck Governor Romney. For your sake, I hope most of America doesn't have an aversion to voting for vampire Mormons from Hell.

"It's a thousand pages, give or take a few, I'll be writing more in a week or two..."

2005-06-15T16:18:00.000-04:00

I've always felt that I had it in me to write a novel. I grant you, it probably wouldn't be a very good novel (although I frequently entertain delusions of literary grandeur in my head), but nonetheless, I've always thought that I could at least write a hundred pages of a story that would interest someone. I actually even started one once, many years ago. I still remember the protagonist's name -- Kellen Bradfield. I had gotten far enough in to know that Kellen had a dark secret, and that somewhere in the universe there was a force moving to expose him, and then all hell would break loose. But that's about as far as I got. I don't have much patience for long-term planning, I've come to realize.

The allure of fiction has always had a grip on me, and sometimes I think that if I had the chance to do it over, I would have tried to get my Ph.D. in English or Comparative Literature rather than History. I like history a lot...the events of the human past are enough to inspire multitudes of novels, and there is nothing you can find in a good novel that you can't find in the annals of history. But still, there are so many books I feel like I should have read, and if I had gone into English, I could be reading them and getting my dissertation done at the same time. Plus, in a fictional world, and especially one of your own making, you can have complete control. The story isn't plotted to the last detail, and the only thing that binds you is your imagination. There's something freeing about it. I will soon be a published author myself (I have an article coming out), but somehow I don't think I'll be getting the same satisfaction from the dozens of academics who will read my article as I would if millions of people were reading a novel I had written.

Maybe I'll go back to Kellen Bradfield. I'll figure out his dark secret, and maybe in the process discover a few of my own.

Improper Bostonians

2005-06-13T11:12:00.000-04:00

OK, so they're not technically Bostonians if they don't live in Boston proper, but we won't hold it against them. Jeff and Moe are readers from my former blog (which is sadly no longer with us). They are the definition of a cute couple -- they met in college and have been together ever since. If they weren't so adorable, I'd probably hate them. So check out their website, and while you're there check out Jeff's blog as well. Happy Pride guys!

Happy Pride

2005-06-13T11:02:00.000-04:00

Happy Pride Month to all of my fellow queers! Boston's gay pride parade was this past Saturday. It was fabulous as usual...the rainbow balloons were flying, the dykes on bikes were dyke-y, and the drag queens were bitchy and beautiful. The downside? I was sweating my balls off. We're in the middle of a major heat wave here in the northeast. That old saying about New England -- "If you don't like the weather, wait a minute" -- is so true. Two weeks ago I was wearing wool sweaters to work because it was 40 degrees outside. Now, I have to restrain myself from coming to work in my underwear to avoid the heat.

I adore this bitch.

2005-06-09T12:22:00.000-04:00

Is it weird that ever since I saw her in concert last summer I feel like I know her personally?

Now that that's over with, let's get some casinos up here!

2005-06-04T11:08:00.000-04:00

Massachusetts state legislators strike down a 1675 law that forbids Native Americans from stepping foot inside the city of Boston -- in May 2005. This liberal state is really quirky sometimes. Kudos to the otherwise-hateful Governor Mitt Romney for signing this long overdue law.

So what should we read? Ann Coulter?

2005-06-02T13:00:00.000-04:00

The conservative Human Events Online has posted its list of the Ten Most Harmful Books of the 19th and 20th Centuries. As one might expect, it's riddled with anti-liberal bias. A few things to note:

1. The Communist Manifesto. HEO describes it as a radical tract in which history progresses as a class struggle that will eventually lead to the overthrow of the ruling bourgeois and replace it with a workers' utopia. This is true, however, the brief description neglects to mention the historical circumstance of the publication. It was published in 1848, after a whole slew of quasi-democratic revolutions rocked Europe. The idea of revolution was not so far from the imagination. Also, the workers' situation in the early nineteenth century was less than pleasant. There were no laws regulating wages, workplace health and safety, or even proper housing accomodations for all of the newly-urbanized. To say that the workers would eventually revolt against such circumstances is not far-fetched, and it's important to remember that today's US capitalism is not pure capitalism -- it is a product of early twentieth century progressivism. The comparison is not direct. Last, the "Evil Empire of the Soviet Union" did not put Marx's ideas into practice. Marx never thought a backward, agrarian society like Imperial Russia would have a communist revolution. The Soviet Union put Lenin's ideas into practice, and while they are similar to Marx's, they are not directly comparable.

4. The Kinsey Report. HEO asserts that the report was "designed to give a scientific gloss to the normalization of promiscuity and deviancy." Rather, what the report did was to show scientifically that, in terms of sexuality, there are no absolutes that define things such as promiscuity and deviancy. Who would deny that there are, even now, multiple standards for what constitutes promiscuity? Furthermore, HEO neglects to explain why or how this book was harmful, or if there are issues with Kinsey's scientific method, what are they? Basically, the assumption is that the report is harmful because it shows exactly what the extreme right wing hates -- people have sex, and they enjoy it. Shocking.

6. Das Kapital. HEO: Marx portrays capitalism as "an ugly phase in the development of human society in which capitalists inevitably and amorally exploit labor by paying the cheapest possible wages to earn the greatest possible profits. Marx theorized that the inevitable eventual outcome would be global proletarian revolution. He could not have predicted 21st Century America: a free, affluent society based on capitalism and representative government that people the world over envy and seek to emulate." Try telling that to anyone struggling to live below the poverty line in the good ol' USA.

10. The General Theory of Employment, Interest, and Money. HEO attacks this book by stating that it inspired (liberal) FDR's era of big government, which in turn left the United States permanently in budget deficit. How quickly one forgets the nineties boom. But even further, what do they have to say about right-wing darling George W. Bush, whose spending and government increases have gone up exponentially?

Just a few thoughts. I'm not surprised to see that Phyllis Schlafly was one of the "judges."

You know you do this too.

2005-05-27T14:08:00.000-04:00

This made me laugh until I cried. Next American Idol? I think so.