An Adult Survey

So I found this at Will's site, and since my love for memes has no bounds, I thought it would make an interesting blog post. Here goes...

1. Ever been to a male strip club? Not once.
2. Ever been to a female strip club? Exactly once. I used to have a friend in college who worked at the Glass Slipper as "Vixen." I should have had her teach me a thing or two, because damn that was impressive.
3. Ever been to a bar? THOUSANDS of times. Well, maybe not thousands. But lots.
4. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club? Do you not see the halo above my head?
5. Ever been so drunk you had to be carried out? From a bar? No.
6. Ever been so drunk you blacked out? Passed out, yes. Blacked out, no.
7. Kissed someone of the same sex (no relatives)? That is *so* against God's plan.
8. Thrown up from drinking too much? A couple of times, yeah. Not my finest moments, but what I remember of the occasions that brought on the hurling tells me I had a damned good time.
9. Had sex with more than one person in a 24 hour period? Oh lord no.
10. Had sex in a car? I've always wanted to try it!
11. Had sex in a park? Nope.
12. Had sex in a movie theater? Nope.
13. Had sex in a bathroom? Nope.
14. Had sex in a school? Nope.
15. Have you ever been in an "adult" store? Every one in the New England area, it seems.
16. Have you ever purchased items from an adult store? Yes indeed.
17. Have you spent over $100.00 in one visit to the adult store? Not that I can recall. I can rarely bring myself to spend $100 at one time in ANY store.
18. Is there someone you wished you never had sex with? Oh my yes. One guy, about 7 years ago. I was totally duped by his apparent charm and reasonable good looks. And the fact that I was a horny teenager. Ah, youthful indiscretions.
19. Is there someone you wished you would have had sex with? Hmmm. At the time I was pining for them, yes, but in retrospect I'm SOOO glad that didn't happen.
20. How many partners have you had? 4, but that doesn't include the numerous people I only *made out* with.
21. Have you ever received oral sex? Yes.
22. Have you ever given oral sex? Yes.
23. Have you ever had a threesome? I feel like that's one more penis than I can handle at a time.
24. Are your breasts real? I'm actually a fem-bot. I can shoot bullets from my nipples.
25. Have you ever used viagra (or anything like it)? Haven't needed it so far.
26. Would you rather give or receive oral sex? Hmmm. I think I prefer giving, but both are pleasurable for different reasons.
27. Have you ever kissed a stranger? Several.
28. How old were you when you first had sex? 18. We were both freshmen in college.
29. Have you ever had a one night stand? Nope.
30. Were you honest in this survey? To the letter.

"Summertime, and the livin' is easy..."

Well, summer vacation is finally upon us. As such, it is time for a few summer resolutions:

1. Lose weight. This is a recurring theme with me. It seems every winter I go through the process of putting on insulatory weight only to cry in horror as I stare at my flab in the mirror wearing my oh-so-cute, but now oh-so-tight summer outfits. So, as part of my summer regimen I am going on a diet, and I am going to attempt to take up jogging. We'll see how well this works. Last time I tried jogging, I went exactly once and almost collapsed into a ragged panting heap on the side of the road. Most decidedly not fabulous.

2. Dissertation research. There has to be a lot of it. This is my time to do one big push to get the majority of it done and move on to some hardcore writing. I've done bits and pieces here and there -- conferences, publications, etc. -- but I'm actually going to try to attempt a whole chapter by the end of the summer. Ay!

3. Save money. I have not been the best about this, mostly because I don't make enough to have the luxury of putting some away for a rainy day. And I know that Bryan and I like to live in a certain style. But profligacy does not become me when, at the end of the month, I'm eating six-month-old ramen noodles 3 meals a day.

4. Read at least one non-dissertation book a month. I have to be reminded, occasionally, why I like reading -- especially when all I'm usually reading are dry academic texts that I have to analyze in a thoughtful manner. Outside reading helps take away those blues.

5. My word, some chick just walked by wearing a hideous skirt. Someone lied to her.

6. Generally, be fabulous at any and all occasions.

OK, that's it. I certainly have my work cut out for me.

The Friday Five: Musicals

Today's topic? The five best musicals of all time according to me!

1. Sweeney Todd, The Demon Barber of Fleet Street: This 1979 gem is my absolute favorite musical. I am an unabashed Stephen Sondheim fan (hell, what queer isn't?), but I think this one towers above his other works. The way he skillfully wove musical themes throughout the epic "musical thriller" is breathtaking, as well as the fact that he took a very big risk with this one and it worked spectacularly. Few musicals with such dark themes survive (see the ill-fated Carrie and Side Show), but this one -- about a macabre barber who slakes his thirst for revenge by slitting the throats of his customers, while his adoring neighbor Mrs. Lovett makes the bodies into meat pies -- was extremely successful thanks to the charismatic performances of Len Cariou and Angela Lansbury. Notable number: "A Little Priest."
2. Cabaret: This one, which debuted in 1966 and has spawned several revivals and an Oscar-winning film starring Liza Minnelli (GASP!), is notable not only for its noble theatrical lineage (based on Christopher Isherwood's Berlin Stories and the John van Druten play I Am a Camera), but also for the fantastic score filled with show-stopping numbers by John Kander and Fred Ebb. Set in 1930s Berlin just before the rise of the Nazi party, this show captures the value-less cultural mentality of the Weimar Republic through cabaret songs commenting on the action of the show -- most of which are performed by a devilish Master of Ceremonies (classically performed by Joel Grey, and recently wickedly revived by Alan Cumming). Notable number: "Cabaret." (Ah...Liza.)
3. A Chorus Line: This innovative 1975 show with score by Marvin Hamlisch is notable for its breakdown of standard musical conventions. The play's action takes us behind the scenes to see the casting of a musical chorus line, a musical that we ironically don't get to see. In the witnessing of the casting process we get to see the lives, loves, and heartbreaks of the dancers being auditioned, giving us a sense of the humanity that exists behind the bright lights of the Broadway stage. Notable number: "One."
4. West Side Story: This 1957 musical "update" of Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet with score by Leonard Bernstein is pure magic because it skillfully blends the operatic composition that Bernstein is known for with a more populist sensibility. Plus, singing "I Feel Pretty" in front of your mirror is just big damn fun. Notable number: Too many to mention! "Tonight"; "Somewhere"; "America"; "Cool."
5. Les Misérables: This 1987 piece with score by Alain Boublil and Claude-Michel Schonberg epitomizes the epic stories that are common to 1980s musicals and also helped to sustain the '80s obsession with spectacle -- from The Phantom of the Opera's re-creation of the Opéra Garnier in Paris to the helicopter descending on the roof of the American Embassy in Miss Saigon. What's excellent about "Les Miz" in particular is that it has a lot of that Broadway flash and flambuoyance without being over-the-top: the rotating stage lending a seemless transition between scenes and a climactic scene involving the re-creation of the Parisian barricades of the Revolution of 1830 topping the list. Notable number: "One Day More."

What do you queens think?

Had I but world enough, and time...

...I could blog consistently and not be such a wank. (My apologies to Mr. Marvell.)

OK, so I've neglected the blog for far too long. I can try and rationalize it, but I won't. Honestly, all I can say is that I've been busy, and I've been lazy, and the blog has been the last thing on my mind. So, here's an update:

-The conference. It went better than I could have imagined. It was my first academic conference, so I was very nervous about presenting my work to a room full of my peers. But, it turns out that everyone was very excited by my work, they had a ton of questions, and quite a few had some very helpful suggestions. One man, whose work I was actually commenting on in my paper, was in attendance...and instead of berating me for getting his argument completely wrong, he was very impressed with the "improvements" I had made on his thesis and told me to keep up the good work. Huzzah for me, I say.

-The midwest. The conference was my first time farther west than Valley Forge, Pennsylvania, and I have to say that it wasn't quite what I expected. First, everyone had told me it was flat. I didn't expect it to be quite sooooo flat. Seriously, you could see for miles unimpeded. Second, the local citizenry was a lot more diverse than I had expected. Honestly, I expected only to see gaggles of corn-fed white boys (and who doesn't love those?), but there was a dazzling array of colors and cultures. Granted, I was in a college town, but still it was pretty impressive. Third, and last, culture shock! Everyone was very friendly (unlike here in good ol' Puritan Boston), but also slightly right-of-center in their politics (again, unlike good ol' Kennedy-loving Massachusetts). While I was on the quad of the conference University, one of the undergraduate student groups was holding a raffle to win a rifle, and encouraging whomever won to trade it in for store credit so that they could actually get an automatic. *Shudder.*

-Teaching. It's over! I have but to give my final exam, and my first official course will have been completed successfully. I have to say, I ended up learning many things as well as imparting knowledge to a few undergraduates. And not only about history, but also about people and pedagogy.

-Summer plans. Well, I won't be slaving around the office day job all summer like I have for the past couple of years -- I got a summer research fellowship that will allow my to work exclusively on my dissertation without having to worry about how I'm going to feed myself! Sadly, it's not enough to get me to France, but it is enough to get a sizable chunk of my research done and even, perhaps, to start writing a chapter or two! That is, provided I can get my ass in gear and actually be productive. Faced with a summer of ostensibly "free" time, how many people would have the willpower to read 19th-century medical journals rather than spend all day lounging about the beach, the mall, or the couch? Also in the works for the summer are a few friends' weddings, and my second-ever trip to the midwest with Bryan -- to Canada and his lovely home state of Indiana.

-The relationship. It's going very well! Bryan and I aren't ready to kill each other just yet, and we're even talking about moving in together in the fall (despite my repeated claim to not want to discuss it until our 6-monthiversary at the end of May). The prospect is scary, but it's also very exciting! Other than that, we've been carrying on our weekly ritual of American Idol obsession; we've been hanging out with friends (both mine and his -- and even some mixing of the two!); I've been trying to educate him on the glories of some old classic films (we started with Cabaret, and will be working our way through All About Eve, Sunset Boulevard, and The Manchurian Candidate); and he's been absolutely wonderful in teaching me about music, cars, cooking, and just life in general. The poor baby is sick right now, so everyone please wish him well!

So, in brief, life is good. Now let's see if I can get into blogging again for more than a day every few weeks or so...