Why, doctor! What a large tube you have!

So, yesterday's Adventure in Gastroenterology (apologies to Karl) went as well as could be expected. The worst part was the anticipation. Having never had an endoscopy before I didn't really know what was involved until the nurse explained it to me. The color must have drained from my face because she quickly moved into "consoling" mode after she told me that I would probably retch on the tube. Which I did. Thankfully, the drugs they gave me made me not care so much. Honestly, the worst part of the whole thing was the insertion of the IV tube. I have a terrible reaction to anything having to do with blood (not, like, movie blood, but real blood) that makes me go all queasy whenever anyone even TALKS about it. So watching the little tube being inserted into the back of my hand while it filled with a viscous crimson syrup made my head go fuzzy. I quickly re-focused my attention on the People magazine I was clutching like a life raft.

The procedure itself only lasted about 10 minutes, and I spent an hour in recovery waking up from the sedatives. I have never felt more relaxed in my life. Why can't they put THAT stuff in a doggie bag? Anyway, my mom had come up from Connecticut to drive me home after the procedure, so she took me home and made me macaroni and cheese while I groggily stumbled about, apparently looking for this Marilyn Manson t-shirt I used to wear in high school. Of course I only remember this through a very cloudy amnesiac haze, but mom assures me it's the truth. I spent the remainder of the day sleeping off and on and watching DVDs of Queer as Folk.

So now I'm back at school, looking over my lecture notes. Yeeha. Did you know that, until about 1490, Spain was ruled entirely by Arabian and African Muslims? And now it's one of the most Catholic countries in Europe. Pretty neat, huh? OK kids, there's your random fact for the day. Have nice weekends!

I knew my nipples were sensitive for a reason.

Oh, my dears, I'm dragging today. I stayed at my office until 9:30 last night trying to finish this damn lecture. I don't think I even have the energy to give it today, I'm so tired. Ugh. And the worst part is that I have to write my Friday lecture this afternoon. I'm going in for an endoscopy tomorrow, which means I'll be pretty much out of commission all day and really not in the mood to think about the freaking Wars of Religion. I can't wait until we get to the topics I'm actually interested in. And speaking of my endoscopy, I really have to get my ass in gear today - my mom is coming up tomorrow to drive me to and from my appointment and my apartment is a disaster. Can you imagine? I don't want my mother to see how I REALLY live - EEK!

Despite my fatigue, I have to say that the lecture I wrote yesterday is fucking amazing. I mean, I'm positively LACTATING over the thing. I just wish I could stand up long enough to express my joy to my students this afternoon. I am a miracle worker - I made Calvinism interesting. It's a wonder more people don't like me.

The rest of the evening passed in quiet repose and blissful somnolence. I took in a showing of The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement and ate cereal while quietly nodding off to sleep. And the movie? What tripe. I mean, honestly. Like she would ever go for that milquetoast Jacoby. If the plot is trying to involve some sort of underhanded misdirection, then please make it at least within the realm of possibility. And Julie Andrews is still fabulous after all these years.

OK, time to do some review before class. Have a lovely day, goslings.

I do enjoy a nice chianti.

So last night, instead of doing something productive like I should have, I decided to goof off. I invited my friend Adam over to play some Playstation 2 games and eat bad food. I do have to say that, for a first go-round at a new game, Adam and I kicked some serious Champions of Norrath ass. Of course now I'm left with having to write an entire lecture on John Calvin, Calvinism, the Catholic Reformation, and the European witch-hunt by tomorrow. Ugh. You'd think that one of these days I'd learn that procrastination doesn't pay off as well as it should. Oh well. Instead of a lecture, I have a kick-ass wizard named Eügene. How very Nikki Sixx.

After Adam left, I spent the remainder of the evening re-watching an old classic, The Silence of the Lambs. Damn that movie is still creepy even 14 years later. I still remember seeing it when I was 12 years old and not being able to go into my basement for months after. You never know if there may be an eerily-vacant, serial-murdering, faux transsexual lurking about. And I still don't know what a fava bean is.

All right, so I have a dilemma, and I need some opinions. A guy asked me out on a date the other day, which sounds pretty f-in cool, I know, but there's more to it. This guy and I "dated" in January. I use the scare quotes because, well, we saw each other a couple times a week for a month and not once did either of us lay a hand on the other. Now, this doesn't surprise me from my end - I'm notoriously shy when it comes to physical contact. It comes from my family background, because hugs in my family are as rare as diamonds. But this guy is extremely outgoing. So, after a month of hanging out, I asked him what was up. He proceeded to regale me with a list of my finer qualities and how I was the perfect guy in every respect, but that he just wasn't interested in me that way. And that was fine with me, because by that point neither was I. But still, I liked him as a person and wanted to be friends. However, week after week would go by and any and all plans I tried to make with him got the brush off. So I said to myself, "Whatever, he's a dink." And thus endeth the romance of He Who Must Not Be Named and Jason. Now, he's asked me out on another date - and very specifically said "date" - and I'm again thinking, "What the f?" He wasn't interested then, and I'm not interested now, so what do you think? Should I keep him permanently relegated to "dink" status, or should I give it another whirl?

The bitch is back.

I don't even know where to begin to write this post. I figured it's been a month since I last posted, so I should probably get off my fat ass and not neglect the blog anymore - but so much has happened in the past month I don't know where to start!

Well, first I should start with a health update, as that is the reason I originally took a little hiatus from the blogosphere. I'm not gonna lie...there have been many dark days since I last left you. Almost two months after my first symptoms appeared, there still is no definitive answer. Things are still being investigated, minorly invasive procedures are involved, and I have gone through many, many trials with various medications. Each one has given me some new round of glorious side effects, thus elevating my anxiety even more. There was one week where I cried practically every day because the pain was so bad and it felt like no one was helping me. I've since calmed down quite a bit, and I'm reasonably certain that I'm not dying (at least I've been assured that by no less than three physicians), but still. I'm just waiting for the day when I can resume some sort of normal life instead of waking up and having six pills for breakfast.

Still, over the past two weeks or so I've learned to control my anxiety better, and that has seemed to help with at least some of my health problems. And really, in the long run, those are skills I will probably need anyway, so something good has come out of this. Oh, that and the fact that I've lost a grand total of 25 lbs. since the beginning of the summer. Having no will to eat isn't really the most healthy diet, but it worked like a charm for me. So, here's to a thinner, if not necessarily happier, me.

School has started again since I left you last, and I'm in full teacher mode right now. I have to say that teaching has presented a fascinating array of new challenges. There's so much micromanaging involved it seems that I spend half my day e-mailing back and forth with my students - who are apparently never satisfied by anything I do for them. Ah, youth. But on the whole, they are really a great bunch of kids. And I'm totally enjoying playing the "professor" role. Shamefully, I admit that it gives me some small kind of power trip when I'm up there lecturing and watching them take notes on something I'm saying. Really, I'm rather incredulous that they find anything I say that important. Still, I really like that I'm exposing them to ideas and aspects of culture that they have never thought about before. And some of the questions I've inspired are really great - it gives me a small thrill to know that they're not just sitting there wishing they were somewhere else, but actually engaged and thinking about something that I said - ME, of all people - is quite amazing to me.

This past weekend was the first weekend that I've really felt good enough to spend time socializing, and socialize I did. Saturday night was the first ever Queer Boston Bloggers dinner, and I had a lovely time. It was nice to meet people face to face, and to pick up some new blogs that I've never really read before. In fact, I was partly inspired to start blogging again by that very gathering. So, thank you, Queer Boston Bloggers. It's not easy to get this lazy behemoth into gear.

Sunday was spent in Hopkinton, wishing a good friend of mine congratulations. She both finished her PhD this summer and fought a successful battle with melanoma - she had much to celebrate, and it was my pleasure to help celebrate with her! Of course, I ate too much (and I think I'm paying for it today), but it was grand to see everyone healthy, happy, and enjoying life. Later that evening, I joined up with Karl and a bunch of his friends (and friends of friends) to see the fireworks downtown celebrating Boston's 375th anniversary. The fireworks were pretty, the people were pretty, and I got on a swing for the first time in years. Then, after about an hour chatting with Karl, I headed home and finished reading Martin Luther's On Christian Liberty, which promptly put me to sleep. Why, oh why, did I assign such boring reading?

Speaking of which, I have to run off to a discussion of said boring reading. So, I'm back kids. Send me presents.