Grrrrrr.

Oh, what a foul morning.

First off, I finally picked up my car at the garage last night. They had called and said that they couldn't replicate the problem, but it sounded like the engine was idling really fast (duh), so they reprogrammed the engine idle speed and told me I could pick it up for $150. Nice. So I picked it up and drove it home. It was fine.

I had plans last night with a friend of mine to go to the movies and see Wedding Crashers. The movie was pretty funny. It's not usually my standard fare, but I definitely laughed raucously at several scenes. Anyway, after the movie I drove home, natch. And the damn "service engine soon" light came on, and the car started making the same damn noise it made the other day. Of course it did. Because God hates me, apparently.

Now, I had to get up early this morning anyway because I had a doctor's appointment at the Fenway Community Health Center. It takes me a long time to get there because it's in the Back Bay and I live in Watertown, but I like the staff there and I like my doctor a lot. And if you're gay, you should really think about going there because they're very sensitive to gay issues. And plus, there's a wide variety of people there...this morning in the waiting room I sat between this huge bull dyke and a muscled circuit boy. Anyway, so now because of the car issues I had to get up REALLY early so I could:

a) Drive the car to the garage.
b) Catch the bus to Kenmore Square.
c) Walk from there to the FCHC.
d) Have my appointment (during which I was poked and prodded in places that were only meant to be treated nicely!).
e) Go to CVS and get a prescription filled.
f) Catch the T to work and still be reasonably on time.

So, here I sit. No car. Long day already at 11AM. And sore from being stuck like a pin cushion. Anybody who intends to piss me off today should just consider what it may feel like to be hunted down like a dog in the street. I'm just sayin'.

"Wonderfully, today is still the day of salvation." Rejoice!

Well, the past two days have not been terribly exciting. I've just been doing random stuff that needed to get done around the house, since my car is still sitting in the garage. They actually called yesterday to tell me that they couldn't replicate the problem I was reporting. So, that's great...now the mechanics think I'm crazy AS WELL AS clueless about cars.

Anyway, last night included some leftover jambalaya and Friends on DVD, some phone calls to friends of my own, and some CD mix-making. I was invited to Karl's to get initiated into the wonder that apparently is Big Brother, but since the car is (as stated above) in the shop, that trip would turn out to be an arduous journey. I would have had to pack trail rations and a desalinization kit.

Mixmaster J was in rare form last night. I belong to this internet CD mix club where everyone signed up swaps mixes with someone else once a month. Most of the people in the club get pretty clever, and you get to hear a lot of music that one may not otherwise be familiar with. It's really a lot of fun. So behold! I give unto you the following mix that my lucky mixee should be receiving in the next 3 or 4 days:

The Music of the Night
1. Cyndi Lauper - I Drove All Night
2. Phil Collins - In the Air Tonight
3. Guns 'n Roses - Nightrain
4. Queensrÿche - Another Rainy Night (Without You)
5. Gladys Knight & the Pips - Midnight Train to Georgia
6. The Five Satins - In the Still of the Night
7. Smashing Pumpkins - Tonight, Tonight
8. Patti Smith - Because the Night
9. The Cars - Tonight She Comes
10. Eve 6 - Here's to the Night
11. INXS - Need You Tonight
12. Collective Soul - Goodnight, Good Guy
13. Whitney Houston - Queen of the Night
14. Fleetwood Mac - Tango in the Night
15. Def Leppard - Tonight
16. Lionel Richie - All Night Long
17. Pat Benatar - Shadows of the Night
18. Heart - Will You Be There (In the Morning)

So far, today is starting out grandly. I have a quarter of a mile hike from the bus stop to my job, and the heat was causing me to sweat profusely. But whatever, it's summer so I was expecting that. What I was not expecting was that the minute I stepped off the bus I was handed a pamphlet with the following heading:

"All Churches are spiritually dead. Believers must NOW depart out. HAS GOD SAVED YOU?"

I love it when people hand me blog fodder. After I read the headline, I turned around and said to the dowdy man who had so graciously thought I needed saving upon seeing me for a full half-second, "Thank you for your generous concern for the salvation of my immortal soul, but do you think you could ask Him to do something about the heat first?"

I'm cranky before I've had my first cup of tea in the morning.

Oh...fuck.

This past weekend was delightful. Too bad this morning sucks. But I get ahead of myself.

Friday night I went to see my roommate in a play. The show was an evening of one-act plays, and she was a performer in one of the one-acts. So, she was actually only in the show for about twenty minutes. Nevertheless, her 20 minutes were the best of the night, and I'm not just saying that because she's my friend. The other plays, with the exception of one, were ghastly. Badly written, badly acted, bad concepts, just bad. Ick. Thank heaven my roommate is a good actress...all that drama in her life is good for something!

After the play, one of my good friends from college (whom I took to the play) suggested we go to IHOP. The IHOP, for all of its tackiness, is a great place to get a late-night snack. Our Indonesian waiter was very friendly, and the food was very prompt. I know it's not haute cuisine, but whatever. Where else can one get an omelette and three pancakes for under $10? Plus, she and I have some very fond memories from college days at that IHOP. To remember those old times, we got out some paper and played that old kids' game MASH. It turns out I'm going to be living in a house in San Francisco with 10,000 kids while being married to Colin Farrell. Life IS beautiful, I say.

The rest of the weekend was pretty uneventful. I got a haircut, bought a couple of CDs and a DVD, had some Indian food with friends, and went to the grocery store. After the past couple of weekends, it was really nice to just hang out and do whatever.

Until today.

Mondays and I have very bad relationships. Today, while driving to work, my car started doing very bad things to me. The engine is revving constantly whether my foot is on the gas or not. And so when I got to work, I called the garage to make an appointment and the only time they can get me in is next Tuesday! My car is scaring me, so I won't drive it, but how am I going to get to work for the rest of the week? God, I hate the bus. Guess I'd better fire up the old iPod for the trip.

But that's not all! On top of the miserable car experiences this morning, I've already had two -- count 'em TWO! -- rude phone calls at work this morning. One guy asked a question that is more appropriate for another of the administrative offices to answer, so when I kindly asked if I could direct him to said other office, he pertly replied, "You know what? You people are not the school for me." *click* Fine, asshole. I'm sure any of the other thousands of applicants to this school would be glad to take your place.

I'm never going to get through this day if the pace keeps up like this. Thank heaven I bought stuff to make jambalaya tonight. Yum.

"Mutha, don't wanna go to school today..."

Well, Mom's visit was a lot of fun. She and I always have a great time together. We both have very similar temperaments, and we both like a lot of the same things, so we can usually find something that suits both of us. Yesterday was a very busy day, and what do we do on the blog when there was a very busy day to report? That's right...bullet points! Yay!

-Mom got here Wednesday night around 9PM. So from about 5PM until her arrival, I had to kill a few hours' time. I packed in about 20 minutes, so then I convinced my roommate NOT to go to the gym, and rather, to sit in my air-conditioned bedroom and play Yahtzee. Since we got rid of the cable my roommate has become a Yahtzee fiend, and she was easily persuaded. Mom got there, we said our hellos, and then we headed to the hotel. By the time we got there and checked in, Mom was kind of tired, so we sat in the hotel bar and drank some wine and chatted about the family -- dad's new job, grandma's party, and how my sister doesn't pay any of the bills. I've come to realize this is the essential purpose of my relationship with mother: To be a listener while she complains about the rest of the people in the family. We soon went to bed.

-On the morrow, we awoke fairly early and had a lovely breakfast buffet in restaurant at the hotel. Mom was eager to tackle the city, so much so that she almost left the restaurant without paying the bill. After taking care of that small matter, we hopped on the T and headed downtown.

-We got off at Arlington because she said she wanted to traipse through the Boston Public Garden and Boston Common. Although it was quite hot, in the shaded luxury of the public greenery it was actually nicely temperate. We got fruit smoothies and sat on a bench in the Garden, watching the swans. More chatting about crazy relatives. Good times.

-After the Garden and the Common, we were walking through Downtown Crossing and doing some shopping on our way to the New England Aquarium, another of the sites Mom wanted to visit. She was mesmerized by the penguins, and I fell in love with watching the jellyfish. We petted starfish (ew!), and had Diet Coke on Long Wharf. Evening was approaching. More talkin' shit about relatives. Oh, and talking about my Mom's job...which, since she's an intensive care nurse, involves a lot of stories about people dying nasty deaths. (Now, Karl, see where I get it?)

-We opted for an early dinner in the North End. I promised her a couple of weeks ago I would take her to dinner for her birthday, and since she has never been to the North End, I figured it would be a cool place to go. We mosied through the picturesque streets (didn't get lost this time!), took a gander at the Old North Church, a stroll through Copp's Hill Burying Ground, and laughed at the smallest house in Boston. We had dinner at Assaggio, which by all accounts was VERY good, if a bit pricey. Do check it out!

-By this time, we were exhausted, and our hips hurt like a couple of old ladies. We thought about going to the movies, but neither of us could agree on something to see, so we decided to relax back at the hotel instead. We bought a pack of cards and played cribbage and watched Meet the Fockers on the hotel movie channel. My word, how Barbra Streisand has fallen!

OK, there's lots more to tell, but I won't bore you with the details, although you may be plenty bored already. Suffice it to say that a good time was had by all, and now I'm back at work before the weekend. And, thankfully, other than having to see my roommate in a play this evening, I am free. FREE. I think I shall sit on my ass, watch TV, and forget that I have any responsibilities at all.

"How gentle is the rain that falls softly on the meadow?"

Today, my friends, is a good day.

Why, do you ask? Well, I'll tell you. First, the disgusting, underwear-curling, sweat-inducing, labored breathing-causing humidity has finally broken. The ride into work today was gorgeous...sunny, mildly warm, no traffic, and cruising along to some good oldies tunes. "A Lover's Concerto" by the Toys is a great song.

Second, I have broken the stalemate and lost another 2 lbs. How awesome am I? Quite. Life is grand.

Of course, the weight loss is probably not due to any ingestive vigilance on my part. Rather, it is more likely that I lost it because I sweated all the water out of my body trying to clean my apartment last night. Why clean on one of the hottest nights in recent memory? Well, the landlord was coming over to have us sign the new lease, and as pleasant as it is to have dust on your dining room table for company, I felt it more understated to go with a "clean" look. So I toiled by dusting, vacuuming, doing dishes, mopping the kitchen floor, and cleaning the bathroom. By the time I got done, I was dripping sweat all over my newly polished tile floor. I was über pretty. So I took a cold - and I mean COLD - shower and got dressed just in enough time to greet my landlord with a smile, sign the lease, and ask him to fix the toilet. Pleasant evening indeed.

I am super excited that my Mom is coming to visit tonight. She booked a hotel room downtown for the two of us, so after work I am going to drive her down there (she hates driving in the city). I'm taking tomorrow off, and we're going to do what two ladies of leisure do best -- shop and eat in the city. Fun!

OK, my chickadees. Enjoy the weather, and have lovely little Wednesdays and Thursdays!

I am the rummy master.

Phew! So far, it's been a busy day. In between answering the phone, helping students, revising my course syllabus, and ordering books, I'm pooped! But, I must say that all this work I'm putting into my course is paying off. I'm very happy with the books I've chosen, and I already have 20 students registered for my course in the fall! This is all very exciting...

Last night's activities involved an impromptu rendez-vous (how do you like that? Latin and French in one sentence!) with Karl for some laid-back entertainment. I went over to his adorable apartment in the North End, having to brave the T for the first time in several months. And on such a humid evening as well! Anyway, we ordered a pizza and chatted a bit before getting down to a rollicking hand of rummy. I decidedly trounced the opposition (sorry Karl), but I still maintain that this was not due to any high level of rummy-playing skill on my part -- merely the luck of the draw. Oh, plus I'm awesome. And perhaps the background VH1 Classic music videos helped. Nothing can invigorate my competitive instincts like a little Guns 'n Roses.

I got a little lost on my way home due to circumstances beyond my control, but I had a leisurely stroll through the North End until I came upon the glittering beacon of brutalist architecture that is Boston City Hall and eventually made my way back to my car. Thanks for a lovely evening, Karl!

And so, another day at work. I really feel like it should be, like, Thursday already. I'm so ready for a real weekend.

My family must sound like the Waltons with all of these posts.

Well, Grandma's party was quite a success. She was duly surprised. The ruse we employed involved my sister offering to take her out to brunch for her birthday. Which she did...with forty of her closest friends and relatives. The minute she walked in the door we yelled "Surprise!" (and she didn't have a heart attack -- thankfully!), and she seemed so happy. She immediately turned to my sister and said, "You...you dirty bird!", and then gave her a big ol' hug. It was very touching.

So Grandma made the rounds among the tables. She seemed very happy to see me. She always says that she doesn't have any favorites among her grandchildren, but that's a lie and we all know it. She clearly favors me, probably because I was the first, and I was also the one dearest to my now-departed grandfather (which Grandma tells me at every family occasion). It's kind of become a joke between me, my sister, and my cousins. She practically pushes them out of the way to get to me every time we come over. Although I may have a run for my money now that one of my cousins has entered the Navy. All I have to say is that his picture better not bump mine from the prime wall-spot over her television.

The rest of the weekend was spent lounging in the pool with my family, playing pseudo-volleyball in the water, and just laughing my ass off. I love my family, but I'm glad that my family obligations are done for now...one more trip to Connecticut and I may run amok with a meat cleaver. I told them that if they want to see me before Thanksgiving, they had better come visit me in Boston. And so my Mom, bless her soul, is coming up on Wednesday night and we are going to traipse around downtown all day on Thursday. Yay! Maybe I'll wear my new cute shoes...

You may be left wondering 'What's an Evinrude?' if you read this.

Yesterday was a long day. After spending all day at work, I had to make a trip to the Massachusetts Historical Society. Over the past year, I've been working on a research project for a scholar who lives in California. His research is on certain regiments from Illinois and their participation in the Civil War, so several of the manuscript collections he needed to look at are housed at the MHS and the Boston Public Library. So, periodically he e-mails me with some more stuff to check out and I make a brief trip downtown to look through 140-year-old letters in really, really bad handwriting. It doesn't exactly get my Evinrude cranking, but it pays $25 an hour. And it's nice to know I have skills that are actually practical in some instances.

Well, last night's trip wasn't going very well because the papers I needed to look at were undergoing some sort of restorative process and were mostly unavailable for viewing. But, as a pleasant surprise, I did run into a friend of mine while I was at the MHS. She was doing almost exactly the same thing I was, and we had a nice chat. We walked down to the Prudential Center and had some really bad Chinese food. It was glorious.

This weekend is yet another trip to sunny Connecticut for more Adventures in Suburbia! My grandmother's 80th birthday party is on Sunday. It's a surprise, and as far as we know, she has no clue it's happening. My grandmother is a crazy old lady with a wacky sense of style. She's always liked to dress well, but in her dotage she's kind of gone from making the scene to terrifying all who come in contact with her. She dyes her hair platinum blonde, she has these electric-blue glasses with rhinestone trim, and wears the gaudiest, loudest, most brightly-colored earrings and clothing you can imagine. She's fabulous. I can't wait to see her face when she sees everyone gathered just for her. Happy birthday, Gramma.

OK folks, have a great weekend!

Daddy Dearest

Yay! My dad is employed again!

Back in the fall, the company my father used to work for was bought out by Staples in an effort to wipe out some of their competitive market in Connecticut. Since the acquisition was meant purely to eliminate a rival company, Staples wasn't interested in hiring any of the old employess except for the salespeople, so my father found himself without a job for the first time since he was a teenager. He had worked at the company for over thirty years, and then at 56 years old, became unemployed. It was pretty rough, although financially we were OK because my Mom has a really high-paying job. But in other ways, it really took its toll.

At first it wasn't so bad because my Dad had a lot of projects around the house that he had been meaning to do. And the house does look really fabulous now...he repainted a lot of the house, did a lot of yard work, installed some new bookshelves. He even became a master chef using the slow-cooker I bought my Mom for Christmas. Occasionally he would drive my Mom and my sister crazy because he's ALWAYS around the house, but that was really a secondary annoyance. After the projects dried up, though, so did Dad's good humor.

It got to be really depressing for him, and for us. He felt like he wasn't contributing anything to the family, and even though he was applying for part-time and full-time jobs all over the place, no one was hiring him. In a lot of ways, it was really sad. I'm not used to seeing my father -- the man who always was so strong and a good provider -- in such a vulnerable position. Talking to him on the phone became one of the most depressing things I've ever had to do.

He called me yesterday, and immediately I could tell something had changed because his voice sounded unusually cheerful. With great pride he told me that he now had a new job, and it's something he thinks he's really going to like -- unlike the job he was at for 30 years and hated every minute. It's weird, but I suddenly felt as if our roles had been reversed...like I was HIS father, and at that moment, no father could have been prouder of a son. He stuck it out and got a job he really likes.

So, perhaps everything does happen for a reason. Good luck on your first day, Dad. I love you.

/schmaltz :-)

"She said hello, you fool, I love you..."

Well it didn't go quite like that, but despite some postponements and a last-minute change in itinerary, I finally had my first real-time blogger experience with Karl at Adventures in Gastronomy! Sipping iced tea on a clear, cool summer evening in Harvard Square with a really great person and good conversation is my idea of a perfect after-work outing, wouldn't you agree? So, Karl, it was great to meet you, and we definitely have to do that more often. You're the coolest wannabe-school bus driver I've ever met.

Upon my return home, I was very pleased to see that my new hot roommate had networked my computer to our now-functioning cable internet! I can't believe how much I've missed having the web at home, especially for iTunes. Since I've been off the iTunes for quite a while, I might have to go on a little downloading frenzy when I get home from work today. I've been keeping a running tally of songs I absolutely NEED to own. (And yes, I NEED to own White Town's "Your Woman.")

OK, one last thing before I get back to work -- see the link to the right that says The St. James Version? I don't know how many of you remember the Club Kids phenomenon of the late-80s and early-90s, but they were a group of New York City miscreants who ran amok in NYC clubs like Limelight and Tunnel while hopped up on Ecstasy, K, and heroin. It's a sordid tale of drugs, sex, and underground nightlife, but they were also incredibly creative. I've become obsessed with them and their (often warped, but always fabulous) sense of style. If you want to know more, check out the movie Party Monster, or the documentary of the same name, for some cool visuals. Anyhow, the movie is based on the novel by former Club Kid and NYC "celebutante" James St. James. He's hysterical, and the link is to his blog. Check it out...you won't be disappointed. Toodles!

5 Random Things About Jason

I love to make lists. I constantly make "to do" lists, grocery lists, lists of my favorite songs, lists of things I want to buy. I don't know why I like to, I just do. Probably because it's a very simple and effective way to organize your life, something of which I am in constant need. So, in the interest of filling today's blog post with something mildly interesting (as opposed to my caffeine-induced ramblings about what pathetic activity I enjoyed last night), I've decided to post the following list of 5 Random Things About Jason. Enjoy!

5 Random Things About Jason

1. I have an unabashed love of late-80s and early-90s hair metal bands like Def Leppard, Poison, Mötley Crüe, and Bon Jovi. Two summers ago, my best friend from high school and I went to Def Leppard, Kiss, Aerosmith, and Bon Jovi concerts in one week (as well as catching the Mötley Crüe show a couple of months ago). After the Week of Rock (as we called it), we were prompted to meticulously catalogue every hair metal song we like and burn them into a mix CD collection of some 16 volumes entitled "Hardcore Hair."

2. I'm kind of an art nerd. I'm a cultural historian, so my interest in art is less about style and influence and more about the historical importance and significance of various artistic trends in sculpture, painting, and architecture. I love museums, and if I have a day where I don't have anything planned or pressing to do, I will usually go to the Museum of Fine Arts and wander for hours.

3. I used to be a dancer. I never danced professionally, but from third grade through my sophomore year in college I took lessons in jazz, tap, ballet, modern, and lyric dancing. I competed regionally, won a few gold medals, and once came in as second runner-up Teen Mr. Dance of Connecticut. In college I performed with my school's dance troupe, and I was the only guy in a group of about 50 girls. Eventually I quit because I was starting to get into other things like writing, academics, and GLBT activism. I still miss dancing though, and I think someday I will get back into it.

4. When I was a kid I used to have recurring nightmares about being alone in a bright sandy desert and all of a sudden being swallowed by a giant lizard. Also, I had an intense fear of wolves, and frequently dreamed that a wolf-man would attack me in my sleep. I still get chills whenever I think about those dreams.

5. When I really like movies, it's more often about the "look" of the movie than the plot or the acting or the writing (don't get me wrong...I like those things too, and they go a long way toward my enjoyment of the film, but sometimes they fall by the wayside if I like the way the film looks). For example, I love the movie The Cell. The story is so-so, the acting is brutally bad, but the film is gorgeous. I love the imagery and the symbolism and the use of artistic influence like that of Odd Nerdrum. I love German Expressionist films for the same reason, especially Das Kabinett des Doktor Caligari. I usually find that horror films have particularly beautiful, if dark, imagery.

Ok folks, have a good day!

Adventures in Suburbia

Have you ever noticed that practically everyone thinks that the best pizza they've ever had is from some small pizza joint in his or her hometown or neighboring settlement? It's certainly true in my case, so whenever I go home and my parents decide they're going to order a pizza for dinner, I know I'm in for a treat.

Such was my happiness on Friday night after I drove home in a monsoon. I left right from work and I managed to get to the Mass Pike before it started to really rain. By the time I got to Framingham it was pouring and my car was sliding all over the highway. I'm truly surprised that I didn't end up hydroplaning into a bridge abutment...especially since I apparently thought it was a fantastic idea to talk on my cell phone in the middle of driving through a typhoon. My friend on the other end of the line got a few larfs in when I shrieked like a little girl from time to time, so I guess that's good.

Saturday, I finally learned to make the sauce. And sweet bleeding Jesus was it delicious. I did, however, promise the old bag (I call her that with loving affection) that I would take the recipe to my grave, or pass it on to my children should I have any. So sorry, Cincy Diva, the cloak-and-dagger secret recipe blog idea is out. My word, auntie is a funny old lady. She never measures anything! She eyeballs it using exact measurements like a "pinch" and a "dash," which drives me nuts because I haven't been making this sauce for seventy years like her -- I don't know how much is enough. Plus, I brought over my CDs that I had brought down for GayFest (see previous entry) and she totally wanted to listen to Cher and Madonna. I love that woman.

Saturday night's GayFest was quite something to behold. Those prosciutto and artichoke stuffed mushrooms I made were fabulous, and they were a welcome addition the the Mediterranean feast my cousin had whipped up. She spent the whole day making hummus, stuffed grape leaves, and spanakopeta. After feasting on tasty delights and some very good wine, we decided to play Twister. I will say it was a lot of fun having three hot nineteen year old gay boys wrapped around me for a couple of hours. But they also play dirty...in more ways than one. And I'm definitely paying the price for it now. Who knew you could have lower back pain at 26 years old?

Sunday was my mom's birthday, so I used some of the sauce I made on Saturday to whip up some eggplant parmigiana and my sister baked a cake. Then we watched Star Wars (insert total fanboy giggle here) and played Outburst before I drove home. I got home late last night, but I was totally satisfied with all the fun I had this weekend.

And now, work. Ugh. Who sings that song "I Don't Like Mondays"? I think Monday mornings need their own soundtrack.

I'm gay and saucy!

Yet another beautiful day in the Northeast. No wonder the Puritans thought this was the land their God had promised them. Only a Calvinist would think that dreary New England was the land of milk and honey.

This weekend promises to be interesting. After work today I'm heading to my parents' house in Connecticut, for yet another edition of Adventures in Suburbia. This weekend we have on the program the aforementioned "GayFest 2005" being thrown by my cousin. She, her gay roommate, my other cousin and her gay friend, my sister, and gay me are getting together for cocktails and appetizers and basically to have a gay ol' time. This should be fun -- nothing like three queens and a room full of straight girls. I promised I would bring appropriate music, so this morning I loaded up the car with all the old standards: Abba, Cher times three, Madonna times two, Erasure, and just to be campy, some Better Midler and Liza Minnelli. Plus, I'm making mushroom caps stuffed with artichoke and prosciutto stuffing. Yummy.

And tomorrow, it is finally going to happen...my aunt promised to teach me the sauce. It's all confirmed, so tomorrow morning at 11 AM, I am going to her house to whip up some tomato delight. And we're even making the pasta ourselves! God, I love cooking...I just wish it didn't have so many calories.

"And I'll remember the way that you changed me, now that I'm standing on my own..."

What a dreary couple of days. Yesterday's rain was terrible. This is one of the charming things about driving in Boston, which under normal circumstances is always a dicey prospect -- when it rains hard around here, everything floods. So yesterday's commute not only involved the thronging hordes of morning drivers, but also it had rained so hard that it blew one of the manhole (hee -- I love that word) covers off of the sewer and started pouring water into a rapidly forming lake in the middle of Soldier's Field Road. Which I then had to drive through. And now, I think my brakes are fucked. Not even a trip to Target yesterday evening could relieve my rainy day frustration.

I was alone again last night, since both of my roommates work late on Wednesdays, so I decided to (once again!) watch trashy DVDs and drink several liters of Diet Pepsi. The gorgeously junkie movie of choice last night was 1994's With Honors. Not only does this movie feature one of Madonna's best songs ever, but it also features a delightful character performance by one of my all-time idols, Gore Vidal, as Harvard Professor of Government "Dragon" Pitkannan. I always cry at the scene where the Brendan Fraser character reads Simon Wilder's obituary, and last night was no exception. I bawled like a baby.

What's up with this crap? Nothing like being greeted at work by the news of yet more death and destruction. Only this time it was compounded by the fact that my friend is currently in London on a research trip. Thankfully, he's all right (but slightly rattled) even though he rides the King's Cross tube every morning.

OK y'all...I'm starving for some breakfast. Have a good day!

"Cuz I live and breathe that Philadelphia freedom..."

My God, I am so tired this morning. Someone needs to hook the tea up to my veins so I can just get a constant caffeine flow going.

Saturday, the cable guy showed up an hour and a half late. Ordinarily, I wouldn't really mind. I know that they have a lot of customers, and sometimes the job takes longer than they expect. But his tardiness meant that I had to leave later for my parents' house, and I couldn't go out and enjoy any of the beautiful weather on Saturday because I was stuck in my apartment watching EuroTrip and waiting for the (albeit sexy) cable guy. I didn't even get a chance to try out my new porn-surfing capabilities before I had to leave!

Sunday, my aunt's picnic was a blast. Our family gatherings mostly consist of a lot of food and board games. So we spent the entirety of the day stuffing ourselves with good old barbecue food and playing Catch Phrase which, if you've never played, is one of the BEST. GAMES. EVER. Check it out. Later we played some croquette, and I sashayed around the field with my little red ball and croquette mallet doing my best impression of Heather Chandler. No one got it but me. Oh well.

Then, finally, on the actual 4th of July, the crusty old bat outsmarted me once again. I couldn't learn the sauce because she had already invited my family over for yet more barbecue. But I did secure a promise that next Saturday we would make the sauce and listen to Frank Sinatra.

All in all, a very busy weekend, and a very exhausting one (who knew that having a social life could wear you out so much?), but fun all the same.

Oh yeah, and do you remember that scene in the South Park movie where Terrance and Philip are killed and Satan and Saddam Hussein come to earth to rule in darkness and Saddam says "You all are really FUCKED now!"? That's kind of what I felt would happen after I heard about this. Except Saddam would be replaced with Antonin Scalia.

Sausage and porn and merriment, oh my!

I'm excited to have so many plans for the holiday weekend!

First off, I'm really excited about my dinner this evening. It's the small things that keep me happy. I've been trying to make a lot of meals with my slow-cooker, mostly because it's really easy to do. Last night I prepared all the ingredients and this morning I just threw them in the cooker, plugged it in, turned it on, and by the time I get home from work tonight -- dinner is served! Tonight's choice is (turkey -- I'm on a diet) sausage and sauerkraut with carrots, onions, and potatoes.

My roommates are heading off to their family reunion in Pennsylvania this weekend, so tomorrow I'm going to be all by myself. The exciting thing is that I'm going to be there waiting for the cable guy to install our high-speed internet! Finally! I've missed it so since we got rid of our old cable/internet package. And of course you know what high-speed internet access means? Porn! And e-mail, I guess.

Sunday my Mom's family is having a picnic so I'm driving out to western Massachusetts for some family fun. I love visiting the town my Mom grew up in. She's related to practically the whole town, so family picnics are sometimes big boisterous affairs with lots of people and good food. But most of all, I just like the setting. Usually, I'm a city guy, but there's something about hanging out with your family in the huge backyard of a small farmhouse in a tiny New England town. Sure you can't get a pizza delivered, or see a movie -- or even a grocery store -- without driving for an hour, but it's very peaceful and the scenery is just gorgeous.

Monday being a holiday, I'm going to try and convince my aunt to try and teach me how to make her famous pasta sauce. One whole branch of my family is Sicilian (remind me to tell you about my Mafia connections), and they can cook like nobody's business. I've been trying to get her to teach me the sauce for years, but she always says that we need a whole day to do it and we'll get to it when I'm around for more than a few hours. This coming Monday is the day, I don't care what that loveable, yet ornery, old woman has to say.

Happy 4th everybody!