"Never before and never since, I promise, will the whole world be warm as this."

Yesterday, after taking off early from work, I was kind of in a funk. I hate it when this happens and I don't have any particular reason why. Summers are supposed to be carefree and fun, but I get this way EVERY summer without any explanation. So to get out of my funk I decided to be productive and take my mind off of things. As a last minute decision, I hopped a bus to Harvard Square and did some dissertation research at the Harry Elkins Widener Memorial Library. Nothing cures the blues like spending hours looking at 19th-century French newspapers on microfilm. For those of you who don't have any reason to deal with getting research access to the Harvard libraries, let me tell you something -- it's like trying to get into the CIA. There are fees involved, security checks, references needed...in short, it's a nightmare. But, having gained access, I can totally see why they go through all of that. The libraries are absolutely beautiful. Not only are the research collections quite extensive and the facilities up-to-date, but the buildings (and the Widener building in particular) are just architecturally gorgeous. Beautiful federalist and neo-classical architecture, some adorned with murals by John Singer Sargent.

Anyway, while the research itself was rather boring, I was having a grand old time bopping along to my iPod. If you've ever been out with me, you know that music is never far from my soul. Thus, I tend to sing, hum, lip-synch, or dance whenever possible (my days as Teen Mr. Dance of Connecticut aren't so long gone...). So, I was lip-synching at the microfilm machine using my pen as a microphone and gave the librarian a chuckle. It totally took me out of my crap-ass mood. Of course, though, now that I was no longer in the summer doldrums I didn't want to do research any more. I hate catch-22's. So I hopped another bus back home.

Neither of my roommates were home, so I made some pasta, popped in Party Monster, and relaxed on the couch. It wasn't long before my new roommate (my current roommate's brother -- see previous posts) came home from work. We watched the trashy movie together, and afterward he totally ambushed me with this deep conversation. It was the type of late-night conversation I loved in college...the kind that's completely unexpected and very meaningful about life and people. The kind where another person opens his soul to you and you get to really know more about him. And it was great. I feel like we really connected, and that means a lot to me. It was a great way to end an otherwise mediocre day.

I love those days where life just takes you where it will, and you never know how you got where you are, but you certainly enjoyed the ride.

Blame the talking monkey.

Joyous news this morning! Less than a week after Canada's Parliament voted to give full marriage rights to same-sex couples across Canada, Spain did the same thing, bringing the count of countries with full marriage equality for gay citizens to a grand total of four (also including the Netherlands and Belgium). Congratulations to Spanish Prime Minister Zapatero, who really pushed for this. Great Britain looks to be well on the way to equality as well. So why is this country so ass-backward?

"There'll be sad songs to make you cry..."

I don't know why, but lately, I've been really emotionally sensitive to music. It seems that every sad song I hear makes me cry, every angry song makes me angry, and every love song makes me want to fall in love. Which, I suppose, is really the purpose of songwriting in the first place (all Marxist critiques about art being created solely for the capitalist market aside). If I were a woman I'd probably suspect that my Aunt Flo was about to visit...maybe it's just a case of the summertime blues. In any case, being so in touch with my feelings has prompted me to undertake a CD mix project of sad songs. When some people are bored they knit or do macramé or masturbate...me, I make mixes (well, and sometimes masturbate). So, here's what I have so far for sad songs:

The Phantom of the Opera - Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again
Evanescence - Forgive Me
Barbra Streisand & Neil Diamond - You Don't Bring Me Flowers
Sheryl Crow - Strong Enough
Jewel - Foolish Games
Les Misérables - On My Own
Tori Amos - China
Madonna - Oh Father
Cyndi Lauper - True Colors
Jason Mraz - You and I Both
Kate Bush - This Woman's Work
Tori Amos - Playboy Mommy
Scandal - Less Than Half
Alanis Morissette - Uninvited
The Cure - Pictures of You
The Smiths - How Soon Is Now?

OK, that's all I have for now. Does anyone out there have any suggestions? What are your favorite sad songs? Maybe if you're lucky I'll send you a copy of the mix when it's done.

Wow, this post was really lame. Don't hate me.

I love bullet points!

Many random things about today. So what do we do when there are many random things to talk about? Bullet points!

- I drove into work today and parked in my normal spot right next to the practice fields. I guess it must be football training season because the field was packed with half-naked, sweaty football players doing calisthenics. Football players usually aren't my type, but some of them were very cute. And the best part? I drove in while blaring Britney Spears' "Do Somethin'" from my car speakers. Could I be any gayer?

-My dissertation advisor called this morning to tell me he had recommended me to a colleague for a job teaching a course on 19th-century Europe at Wheelock College. It sounds like an awesome opportunity, but the problem is that the Wheelock schedule conflicts with my current teaching schedule. The woman seems very excited about offering me the job, but if she can't finagle a schedule change, I might not be able to accept it. Boo hoo.

-At work this morning, I got a huge project dumped in my lap that's going to take all week. The worst part is that it involves a lot of typing and spreadsheets and it's killing my neck and shoulders. Anyone want to give me a massage?

OK, back to this dreadful project. Hope all is well with everyone!

"Havin' a heat wave, a tropical heat wave..."

"...it isn't surprisin', the temperature's risin', she certainly can...can-can!" God I love Bing Crosby.

Anyhow, to beat the heat this weekend I fled from my stifling apartment to my parents' house in Connecticut. They have a pool and air conditioning. It was bliss. And plus, my parents are pretty cool. Mom and I played cribbage and Dad and I splashed around in the pool for hours. Good times! I felt bad about leaving my poor roommate to sweat to death, but hey babe, it's every man for himself in this heat.

Saturday night my aunt threw a party for her boyfriend's 50th birthday. He's a good guy, but his friends aren't my kind of people. They're the kind of bons vivants who drink beer to excess, get really loud and obnoxious, and then drive home. While that kind of behavior may be fine for strangers, certainly it isn't for anyone who wants to be associated with me or my family. Drunk drivers are just not cool. Obnoxious oafs aside, the party was pretty fun. There was good food, good drink, and lots of good company. My other aunt and I got into a deep discussion about abortion and stem cell research which then led to a discussion about parents relating to their gay kids. I think we learned from each other, and that's as it should be. Then later, two of my cousins and I planned a party that we're calling "GayFest 2005" -- which is basically an excuse for my cousins, my sister, and I to bring all of our gay friends together and have cocktails and laughs. I love that my family is so comfortable with "alternative" lifestyles...it's the wave of the future, people, ride it.

And so now it's back to work on a Monday morning. While I'm here, I've been trying to consolidate my undergrad loans online and it's been giving me palpitations. I really don't know anything about finance. I'm a history major for crying out loud, what do I know about practical things like money? I'm going to head to the student loan office on my lunch break and see if they can help me out. These interest rates are too good to pass up, and I know I've been slacking in getting this done, but really don't we all work best under pressure? OK, wish me luck, and enjoy your Mondays!

Improper Bostonians: Part, the Second

Everyone say hello to Karl over at Adventures in Gastronomy. I've been reading this fellow Bostonian's blog for a couple of days now, and he's a really cool guy. I mean, anyone who plays Flinch is bound to be sparkling. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, you're behind the wave darlings. See, it already brought we two people into contact. And if that weren't enough, he seems to love TV almost as much as I do, and that will always usher someone into the warm cockles of my heart. So, venture forth, brave Readers. Read it. Link it. Love it.

Well slap my ass and call me Judy.

Like we didn't all see this coming. Well, good luck Governor Romney. For your sake, I hope most of America doesn't have an aversion to voting for vampire Mormons from Hell.

"It's a thousand pages, give or take a few, I'll be writing more in a week or two..."

I've always felt that I had it in me to write a novel. I grant you, it probably wouldn't be a very good novel (although I frequently entertain delusions of literary grandeur in my head), but nonetheless, I've always thought that I could at least write a hundred pages of a story that would interest someone. I actually even started one once, many years ago. I still remember the protagonist's name -- Kellen Bradfield. I had gotten far enough in to know that Kellen had a dark secret, and that somewhere in the universe there was a force moving to expose him, and then all hell would break loose. But that's about as far as I got. I don't have much patience for long-term planning, I've come to realize.

The allure of fiction has always had a grip on me, and sometimes I think that if I had the chance to do it over, I would have tried to get my Ph.D. in English or Comparative Literature rather than History. I like history a lot...the events of the human past are enough to inspire multitudes of novels, and there is nothing you can find in a good novel that you can't find in the annals of history. But still, there are so many books I feel like I should have read, and if I had gone into English, I could be reading them and getting my dissertation done at the same time. Plus, in a fictional world, and especially one of your own making, you can have complete control. The story isn't plotted to the last detail, and the only thing that binds you is your imagination. There's something freeing about it. I will soon be a published author myself (I have an article coming out), but somehow I don't think I'll be getting the same satisfaction from the dozens of academics who will read my article as I would if millions of people were reading a novel I had written.

Maybe I'll go back to Kellen Bradfield. I'll figure out his dark secret, and maybe in the process discover a few of my own.

Improper Bostonians

OK, so they're not technically Bostonians if they don't live in Boston proper, but we won't hold it against them. Jeff and Moe are readers from my former blog (which is sadly no longer with us). They are the definition of a cute couple -- they met in college and have been together ever since. If they weren't so adorable, I'd probably hate them. So check out their website, and while you're there check out Jeff's blog as well. Happy Pride guys!

Happy Pride

Happy Pride Month to all of my fellow queers! Boston's gay pride parade was this past Saturday. It was fabulous as usual...the rainbow balloons were flying, the dykes on bikes were dyke-y, and the drag queens were bitchy and beautiful. The downside? I was sweating my balls off. We're in the middle of a major heat wave here in the northeast. That old saying about New England -- "If you don't like the weather, wait a minute" -- is so true. Two weeks ago I was wearing wool sweaters to work because it was 40 degrees outside. Now, I have to restrain myself from coming to work in my underwear to avoid the heat.

I adore this bitch.

Is it weird that ever since I saw her in concert last summer I feel like I know her personally?

Now that that's over with, let's get some casinos up here!

Massachusetts state legislators strike down a 1675 law that forbids Native Americans from stepping foot inside the city of Boston -- in May 2005. This liberal state is really quirky sometimes. Kudos to the otherwise-hateful Governor Mitt Romney for signing this long overdue law.

So what should we read? Ann Coulter?

The conservative Human Events Online has posted its list of the Ten Most Harmful Books of the 19th and 20th Centuries. As one might expect, it's riddled with anti-liberal bias. A few things to note:

1. The Communist Manifesto. HEO describes it as a radical tract in which history progresses as a class struggle that will eventually lead to the overthrow of the ruling bourgeois and replace it with a workers' utopia. This is true, however, the brief description neglects to mention the historical circumstance of the publication. It was published in 1848, after a whole slew of quasi-democratic revolutions rocked Europe. The idea of revolution was not so far from the imagination. Also, the workers' situation in the early nineteenth century was less than pleasant. There were no laws regulating wages, workplace health and safety, or even proper housing accomodations for all of the newly-urbanized. To say that the workers would eventually revolt against such circumstances is not far-fetched, and it's important to remember that today's US capitalism is not pure capitalism -- it is a product of early twentieth century progressivism. The comparison is not direct. Last, the "Evil Empire of the Soviet Union" did not put Marx's ideas into practice. Marx never thought a backward, agrarian society like Imperial Russia would have a communist revolution. The Soviet Union put Lenin's ideas into practice, and while they are similar to Marx's, they are not directly comparable.

4. The Kinsey Report. HEO asserts that the report was "designed to give a scientific gloss to the normalization of promiscuity and deviancy." Rather, what the report did was to show scientifically that, in terms of sexuality, there are no absolutes that define things such as promiscuity and deviancy. Who would deny that there are, even now, multiple standards for what constitutes promiscuity? Furthermore, HEO neglects to explain why or how this book was harmful, or if there are issues with Kinsey's scientific method, what are they? Basically, the assumption is that the report is harmful because it shows exactly what the extreme right wing hates -- people have sex, and they enjoy it. Shocking.

6. Das Kapital. HEO: Marx portrays capitalism as "an ugly phase in the development of human society in which capitalists inevitably and amorally exploit labor by paying the cheapest possible wages to earn the greatest possible profits. Marx theorized that the inevitable eventual outcome would be global proletarian revolution. He could not have predicted 21st Century America: a free, affluent society based on capitalism and representative government that people the world over envy and seek to emulate." Try telling that to anyone struggling to live below the poverty line in the good ol' USA.

10. The General Theory of Employment, Interest, and Money. HEO attacks this book by stating that it inspired (liberal) FDR's era of big government, which in turn left the United States permanently in budget deficit. How quickly one forgets the nineties boom. But even further, what do they have to say about right-wing darling George W. Bush, whose spending and government increases have gone up exponentially?

Just a few thoughts. I'm not surprised to see that Phyllis Schlafly was one of the "judges."